Quick poll!

[conuly]

Poll #6456 Tantrums

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 11

View Respondents

When you were about five years old (in Kindergarten), did you ever have a tantrum?

View Answers

Sure, all the time!
4 (36.4%)

Occasionally.
3 (27.3%)

At least once.
1 (9.1%)

Nope, but I was a very good child.
1 (9.1%)

No, never.
2 (18.2%)

Do your kids (or students, or charges) have tantrums at that age? Like, ever?

View Answers

Sure, absolutely!
1 (14.3%)

Occasionally, when they're tired or hungry or stressed.
5 (71.4%)

Once in a while.
0 (0.0%)

No, but I'm lucky.
1 (14.3%)

No, never, and I've never heard of such a thing ever.
0 (0.0%)

Comments

[leora]

I was a very atypical child. I did not throw tantrums at basically any age. (I threw one when I was a teenager or so, because I was annoyed that I had never thrown a tantrum, and I wanted to do so. It was kind of half-hearted and not about anything other than the desire to throw a tantrum.) It didn't occur to me to do so. I also was way too manipulative and also worried about misbehaving. It wasn't really a good thing that I was atypical like that. I behaved too well in many ways, including not asking for basic necessities I needed, so my parents didn't know when I didn't have things.

However, I would quietly hold grudges forever. I did not throw a tantrum about my kindgergarten lunch room monitors telling me I had to eat more food than my appetite told me was appropriate before I would be allowed to leave the table, despite the fact that I had been taught this was unhealthy. I did not in any way complain though. Nor did I comply. I moved my food around until they told me I had eaten enough, and learned that they were untrustworthy adults never to be respected, and I am upset with them to this day that they tried to sabotage my health and force bad habits onto me that would have had long term negative consequences. But I didn't throw a tantrum. I would not have expected such a thing to be effective. I might have considered getting my parents involved to object to the school if the obstacle had been more difficult. But usually when I was forced to do something that I strongly objected to (such as say the pledge of allegiance, also in kindgerten) I took the simplest route of pretending to comply while not actually complying and losing more respect for my elders and viewing them more and more as mindless obstacles to be dealt with.

A tantrum now and then would have been more normal and possibly a healthier attitude. On the other hand, I would have been mistreated by adults on multiple occasions where I was not because of my approach. And in one case, in Elementary School, the adult in question even apologized for trying to force me to do something that later turned out to be wrong. I informed her that I hadn't done it anyway.

[conuly]

Evangeline can definitely be manipulative. It was made so clear to us the day she whined at her sister about something, and then turned to me and repeated her comment with a smile and a giggle. (And then she said she was the "good one"! I went to Jenn and told her that we had a BIG problem, and after laying the law down for Evangeline she started doing more whining and fussing, and (eventually) tantrums.)

I *know* going through the developmental stage of occasional tantrums is important and, on the whole, good for her (even if we can't just let her have them and get away with it or get what she wants out of it, because that would be BAD for her). I'm not sure why anybody would want a kid who doesn't assert themselves, ever.

[leora]

*sighs* Now I'm reminded of the really scary how to abuse your child stuff on the net about how proper parenting involves breaking your child's will before they are even a toddler, so that they always obey you.

Some people do want obedience over all else. But I do not consider it good parenting. Nor is it what I want. I'd rather people be allowed to be annoying at times, but grow up to make choices, have some self confidence, and so forth.

Children will act immature sometimes. It has to do with them being immature human beings. They haven't finished maturing yet. This is expected. I am more okay with immaturity from children than from adults. The older someone is, the less hope there is that the person will outgrow their immaturity.

[mc776]

"charges" I will for the purposes of this poll deem to include clients. :V

I never had tantrums when I was very little, I'd just calmly, nonchalantly inflict violence on whichever other kid was responsible for my grievances.

...the tantrums only started after I started getting suspended and learned that I couldn't do that sort of thing anymore. :X

[steorra]

You have 5-year-old clients?

[mc776]

The "do" and "Like, ever?" made it ambiguous. >_>

[trialia]

For the first - yes. I have a fairly clear memory of, aged five, being dragged to the headmaster's office by the back of my school jumper, heels dug into the floor, because I was so furious about something I wouldn't walk there myself. I think, IIRC, I'd answered my teacher back about something. I remember sitting in the head's office with my jumper pulled up over my face so I wouldn't have to look at him. I don't remember what I said, but I do remember the anger and the dragging.

[conuly]

Wait, wait, I'm trying to picture this properly.

Is that jumper = american sweater or jumper = one of these things?

[trialia]

Sorry. What you'd call a V-neck sweater - a grey cotton one, as I was/am allergic to wool. I remember crying because I was so angry and not wanting the head to think I was crying because I regretted what I'd done!

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Did you want lj people to vote in that, or did you want to display dw results?

[conuly]

I wanted to just make one poll :) I'm pretty sure LJ people can vote in that if they use an openID account, though... can't they?

If not, I can make a second poll, or you can just answer in the comments.

[conuly]

Yeah, if you have an LJ you can vote in the poll just by asking DW and LJ to recognize your LJ account with OpenID.

http://www.dreamwidth.org/support/faqbrowse?faqid=62

[noodles-morgyn.livejournal.com]

How are you defining 'tantrum'? Does yelling/crying/slamming doors count as a tantrum?

[conuly]

Yup!

[rantinan.livejournal.com]

if you count autistic meltdown as tantrum, which is certainly what it was called then, then certainly. Since my kids have all be fostered way over that age, the answer has to be ??? for part 2

[conuly]

Yeah, I'll go with it.

In this case I think it really was a tantrum, in that she was trying out whining to get her way. And I sympathized with her, I really did, and I'm certainly glad she's trying to stand up for herself - but this is not the way. Certainly not as your first resort.

After all, she pretty much didn't scream, because she knew that everybody can hear it when she does and it upsets people.