Two articles

[conuly]

One, a cheerful one about the kindness spy version of Improv Everywhere.

And one about a woman who got kicked out of Starbucks after throwing a hissy fit.

Now, it's one thing to talk about small, medium, or large coffees - although I suggest that if you don't like using their stupid terms you go somewhere else - but this is absurd.

She wanted a "plain multigrain bagel". That is to say, a multigrain bagel with nothing on it. And when the cashier asked if she wanted butter or cheese, she threw a tantrum like a baby. How hard would it have been to say "No, thank you!" rather than to repeat your statement? (Having read the posts at Not Always Right, and at Customerssuck, I think it's safe to say that plenty of people ask for a "bagel" and then get upset if you don't psychically know they mean one with butter. Or cream cheese. Or whatever damn thing they want.)

"If you don't use their language, they refuse to serve you. They don't understand what a plain multigrain bagel is."

Sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but *I* do not know what a "plain multigrain bagel" is. I mean, I do, but only because I know you're wrong.

It's either a plain bagel or a multigrain bagel (which is an abomination unto the world of bagels, though not as bad as cinnamon raisin ick). Plain has to do with what the bagel is made of - you can have plain, onion, poppyseed, everything, and I guess multigrain if you insist. And any of those bagels can come with cream cheese or butter or whatever else you like. But then they're a whatever bagel with nothing on them, or possibly you just say, like a civilized individual, "Oh, no thank you!" when asked if you want butter or cream cheese with them. It's really not that hard. (Actually, I guess you can say it if you want, but once you bring your bad manners into it I'll tell you how wrong you are. That's fair.)

(Don't read the comments, btw.)

Comments

[dv8nation.livejournal.com]

I'd read plain as a bagel without butter or cheese. But the lady was being an ass either way.

[conuly]

Except that in the bagel world, plain already has a meaning - a quintessential bagel.

Switching the meaning to be "with nothing on it" would inexorably lead to constructions like "a plain plain bagel" and that's just wrong.

But I don't really care so long as you're not kicking and screaming, tell the truth.

[dv8nation.livejournal.com]

I'll take your word for it since I don't eat bagels. The few times I have they sucked.

[conuly]

You need good bagels.

[ironychan.livejournal.com]

... now I want a bagel.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Me too, and all the bagels in the fridge have turned into science experiments.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

I wonder if this is a regionalism. To me, "plain" means nothing on or with something; a plain coffee is no cream or sugar, a plain coke is one without rum. But my gawd, you just repeat your order or say "no thank you".

The reason these guys hear what you say and then ask you for something you don't want is they get on mental autopilot. At several coffee places I've asked for an onion bagel, heated, with heavy cream cheese, and had them ask "would you like anything on that?" and "would you like it warmed up?" Like they didn't even hear what I said. But they did. It's just that they're on autopilot. Along with zero patience, this woman has obviously never had that kind of job, or has, but forgotten what it's like.

[conuly]

The VERY FIRST THING I say when shopping is "no bag please" and most of the time they start putting it in a bag anyway. It's annoying, but so long as they listen to me the second time I say it, I don't worry about it.

And plain DOES mean "nothing on it". As in, no poppyseed, no onions, no sesame seed, no garlic, and certainly no cinnamon raisins.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

I'd be annoyed too (no hissy fit, not worth it) if I asked for a bagel, was told "butter or cheese?", said "neither" and was told "you're not going to get one until you say butter or cheese".

Apparently when she originally placed the order, she didn't use the word "plain". She didn't say plain until she was speaking to the press.

.... the alleged press.

Given that this article appeared in the Post, and given that Dr. R. is not just an English professor but a long-time women's rights activist, I'd like to find out what actually happened.

[conuly]

I'm *hoping* there's more to this story than what was reported, because otherwise it's just "woman snaps for basically no reason".

Because it sounds like it went:

"Multigrain bagel"
"Butter or cheese?"
"MULTIGRAIN BAGEL!"
"BUTTER. OR. CHEESE?"
"ARGH!"

and that's just not good.

[redbird]

I think we can let multigrain slide, given that pumpernickel bagels (which are the Right and Proper Bagel, if you can still find a decent one) are a mix of grains.

[conuly]

Yeah, I guess. So long as it's savory, actually, I probably won't complain.

[ascian.livejournal.com]

Zod above, do I miss Brueger's. Honey walnut and cream cheese = OTP.

Those jobs suck. The only way to get by is on autopilot. When someone steps outside the script, it takes some work on both parties' part to restore communication, and either party simply repeating is bad enough (rephrasing is best); simply repeating *while understanding the communication problem* **AND INSISTING THAT THE TRANSACTION MUST BE IN YOUR PARTICULAR PARLANCE?!?!** Die in a fucking fire, you self-centred twit.

This woman infuriates me (and also makes me feel sad for her, because Zod forbid I should just dismiss anyone ever). This isn't about the establishment and its jargon, this is about someone who's so desperate for a sense of control in her life that she decides that, rather than find a common language like everyone has to, she can force her specific way of communicating on someone else.

She expects to get away with it because her victim is one of 'those people' -- passive-aggressive (they all are, amirite?) register monkeys -- and meanwhile she has a Ph.D. from Columbia behind which to hide. That degree means that she's better, she has the authority when it comes to bullshit pedantry, and this damned little punk better accept zir place as the lesser being zie is and GET HER A DAMNED BAGEL THE WAY SHE WANTS, THE WAY SHE WANTS TO ASK FOR IT.

Aaaaargh. Okay. I'm okay. :P