I was reading TV Tropes.
Oct. 27th, 2009 02:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
Don't read TV Tropes. Seriously, that's a bad idea.
But I was reading TV Tropes, and I read the most *astounding* news. Apparently Stephanie Meyer is coming out with a new book series? About time-traveling cannibal mermaids? Why has nobody told me about this???
Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "We didn't tell you because it's gonna suck and we hope it's not true". But think a little harder. Really envision the concept of time-traveling! cannibal! mermaids! Think about it. Isn't that just the most awesomest thing you ever heard? It is! It's fantastic! They're mermaids... that travel through time... and are cannibals. No word yet on whether they sparkle, but I'm betting yes. Sparkly time traveling cannibal mermaids! OMG!
There's only one teensy tiny little PROBLEM. And that's kinda Stephanie Meyers. But not to worry. She can be replaced.
For example, we can have this series written by that one who ghostwrites the V. C. Andrews books. Then we could have sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaids! Maybe they can be their own grandpas.
Or we could get Lurlene McDaniels to write it. Then they'll be meaningful sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaids, which is bound to be an improvement.
Or we could ask Ann M. Martin. Now, stop for a minute and picture this:
Sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaids who babysit (in a meaningful way).
C'mon. TELL me that's not awesome. Because me? I think it's pretty awesome.
Jenn thinks I ought to do this for NaNoWriMo. And the more I think about it, the more awesome I think it is. Except I don't do NaNoWriMo... and good thing too, because this concept needs a special touch. No hack writing for me. No, for my own little version of sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaid babysitters I'm going to have to break out... the haiku.
Oh yeah. All that awesome, condensed into 30 brief (and meaningful!) haikus.
There's absolutely no way this can go wrong.
C'mon. Tell me I'm awesome. I'm so excited. This is the bestest idea I've had all year!
But I was reading TV Tropes, and I read the most *astounding* news. Apparently Stephanie Meyer is coming out with a new book series? About time-traveling cannibal mermaids? Why has nobody told me about this???
Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "We didn't tell you because it's gonna suck and we hope it's not true". But think a little harder. Really envision the concept of time-traveling! cannibal! mermaids! Think about it. Isn't that just the most awesomest thing you ever heard? It is! It's fantastic! They're mermaids... that travel through time... and are cannibals. No word yet on whether they sparkle, but I'm betting yes. Sparkly time traveling cannibal mermaids! OMG!
There's only one teensy tiny little PROBLEM. And that's kinda Stephanie Meyers. But not to worry. She can be replaced.
For example, we can have this series written by that one who ghostwrites the V. C. Andrews books. Then we could have sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaids! Maybe they can be their own grandpas.
Or we could get Lurlene McDaniels to write it. Then they'll be meaningful sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaids, which is bound to be an improvement.
Or we could ask Ann M. Martin. Now, stop for a minute and picture this:
Sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaids who babysit (in a meaningful way).
C'mon. TELL me that's not awesome. Because me? I think it's pretty awesome.
Jenn thinks I ought to do this for NaNoWriMo. And the more I think about it, the more awesome I think it is. Except I don't do NaNoWriMo... and good thing too, because this concept needs a special touch. No hack writing for me. No, for my own little version of sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaid babysitters I'm going to have to break out... the haiku.
Oh yeah. All that awesome, condensed into 30 brief (and meaningful!) haikus.
There's absolutely no way this can go wrong.
C'mon. Tell me I'm awesome. I'm so excited. This is the bestest idea I've had all year!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-10-28 06:30 am (UTC)The former would be silly. The latter has possibilities. They go back in time to famous shipwrecks in order to pick off the survivors...
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Date: 2009-10-28 06:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-28 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-28 06:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-28 06:42 am (UTC)But seriously, you are awesome.
Also, I really do like the idea of cannibal mermaids. Sounds like it could be played entirely straight.
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Date: 2009-10-28 03:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-28 10:13 am (UTC)Written by Neil Gaiman: Sparkly incestuous time-travelling cannibal mermaid babysitters who say really enigmatic things.
Written by Tanith Lee: Sparkly incestuous time-travelling gender-shifting cannibal vampire mermaid babysitters.
Written by Richard Brautigan: Perhaps he went fishing and he caught one and they had really great sparkly mermaid sex after which she kept an eye on his daughter while he went into town for a few things, but then she had to go back into the river and he was left alone with his thoughts and a few iridescent scales which he's kept like pressed flowers along with the fishing pole he used that day. One day, he may take it out and use it again.
And the film version can be done by Ed Wood.
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Date: 2009-10-28 04:05 pm (UTC)Who's Brautigan, though?
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Date: 2009-10-28 03:07 pm (UTC)Anyway, even if you do haikus, I think this post is hilarious and I totally LQed (laughed quietly).
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Date: 2009-10-28 04:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-28 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-28 03:12 pm (UTC)(LMAO at Ann M. Martin!)
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Date: 2009-11-06 08:36 pm (UTC)