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conuly
These are a bit better, less depressing, though. Most of them are out of date (they all linked to the first one I saw, which I'll actually post last), but one is pretty recent:
One on the stigma-ness of autism, and differing scores of autistics on different types of IQ tests. I'm sure I've posted this before.
One on asking autistics to define autism. "The most striking observations were that all of them pointed out that unusual perceptions and information processing, as well as impairments in emotional regulation, were the core symptoms of autism, whereas the current classifications do not mention them." I find this statement to be promising.
One on how many autistic children perceive eye contact as threatening. This wasn't even news back in 2005.
And the one I tangentially want to talk about, about a woman with perceptual differences (seeing objects inconsistently where they definitely aren't, go read it) and how she adapts, well enough that she didn't realize she had these problems until she was an adult. Got it fromautismhub.
I'm posting that article first because it's an awesome article and you totally need to read it (go, now!), but also because it provides a decent segue (if not exactly an excellent one) into something I've wanted to post for a few weeks but haven't figured out how to bring up. I'm still not sure how to talk about it and be clear, so bear with me - this is a perceptual difference of my own that's confusing the heck out of me, so I have no idea how I can convey it to everybody else!
Prosopagnosia (faceblindness) gets a lot of press. And I have that to some extent (back when Jenn was changing her hair all the time she occasionally changed it without telling me. I couldn't locate her in a crowd when she did. This is far from the most noticeable example of face-recognizing problems I've had), but what *really* impacts my life is my combination of total-lack-of-direction-ness and place blindness (which hey, rhymes with face blindness!). The first is bad enough - given two different routes to one location, I can walk both of them but still not be able to figure how they match up to make a whole; given three different turns, I cannot then move around and point to my starting point, nor can I guess which way I need to turn to get to a pre-determined end point, even if I know its relation to my start. The second is worse. Things that reasonably ought to look familiar don't, or don't consistently, anyway.
I have posted about this before, but not recently, so let me explain. If I enter a building from a different door than I usually do - even if it's, say, the door I *exit* from and I'm familiar with that lobby! - I will usually not see the building as a familiar place, nor be able to orient myself. If I approach a location from a different direction from usual, or at a different time of day or year, it will look like an entirely different place to me. And heaven forbid scaffolding has gone up or down, or they've repainted...! My family used to joke that if they turned me around, I'd get lost. Yeah, yeah, it's only funny because it is literally true. There was the time a family friend (whose daughter herself happens to be on the spectrum) dropped me off directly in front of my house, but on the opposite side of the street. I was ten at the time. I didn't recognize my house. I turned all the way around and must have looked directly at it, and I didn't recognize it. She had to lead me across the street, and I didn't realize where I was until I was on my porch.
I often mention the time I didn't recognize my own niece and brother-in-law when they were dressed in clothes familiar to me and when I saw them every week. I mention that story because it's unusual for me (though a good example of why "try harder" is a shitty thing to say when I (or anybody!) mention I'm bad with faces). I mention this story, of not recognizing my own home, because it is in fact completely typical of my experiences.
I have ways around this, of course. I look for landmarks. If I know I'm looking at Trinity Church, for example, I can work out where I am. (Landmarks don't have to look familiar to work. If I go to my mother's office from any direction other than the usual one, I look for Radio City Music Hall. It looks unfamiliar to me at any angle but one, but as it says "Radio City Music Hall" on it I know where I am and I can work out where my mother's office is by then looking for her specific facade. It doesn't work backwards - seeing the facade without first finding the landmark gets me nowhere, even if I remember the McDonald's right across the street. And seeing the landmark doesn't mean I recognize the building, that it "clicks" as my mother's office - I just reason it out the same way I would if I had a map but had never been there before. Likewise, back before the WTC fell I could always walk back from Wendy's to my mom at the AMEX by looking at the WTC until I bumped into Trinity Church. I could get from AMEX to Wendy's and recognize everything and not get lost, but not the other way around.)
Occasionally, even being careful to be very consistent and always come to places in the same way with the same entrance and the same time doesn't work and, for whatever reason, that place will *always* look unfamiliar to me. I don't know why. Times Square is one of those places. I really dislike the area for a number of reasons, but a major reason has got to be that no matter what, I can *never* figure out where I am when I'm there. It doesn't matter if I look for familiar landmarks, I still can't work out where anything is compared to where I am and half the time even the landmarks look unfamiliar. Yes, even the one that is in every movie or TV show about NYC ever, with the big electronic billboard. Unless I walk directly into it, I sometimes don't even register it as "hey, that big billboard" in my mind.
But here's something interesting that I've just noticed happening recently, though it may have been going on before then. My mother's office is pretty close to Times Square. A stop away on the train, actually, but sometimes I end up getting off at 42nd Street instead. Now, if I'm going up there I always get on the first car so I can get out at the most uptown exit. So if I get out at 42nd Street instead, I always get out at the same exit and, following the signs, take the same path (the only logical path) to get to the street. The time in the station is interesting in itself - periods of no recognition of where I am whatsoever interspersed with brief areas where I *do* recognize my location, but only distantly... like having seen pictures of the place often, but never having been even though I do know that I've been in that place before.
But I make my way to the street and my first goal, even beyond "get to my mother's office" is "get out of Times Square". I really don't like the place, you know. Now, once I head down a block I can work out, thanks to the grid system, which cardinal direction I've headed in. Then, if I'm wrong, I can easily backtrack (though as a New Yorker I hate to do this - more on this later) and make my way to any street address I please. I don't have any intuitive knowledge of left and right and curvy turns this way and that way, but in most of Manhattan I don't need it - all *I* need is to work out which way uptown is and I'm set. So I'm not too concerned - sure, I have a 50% chance of heading in the wrong direction initially (east or west), but then I'm clear.
But here's the weird thing. Even though that exit and corner is in "totally unfamiliar" territory, as is the entire surrounding area, the past five or six times I've gotten out there I've gone in the right direction every time. And I know, because every time I get out of Times Square, look around, think I've gone in the wrong direction because everything looks totally unfamiliar - and then spot Radio City Music Hall and realize where I am.
Let's be clear. I'm not remembering (at least, not on any level I can consciously access) which way to go. This isn't mostly unfamiliar, this is as unfamiliar as if I was dropped in Toronto, no matter how many times I leave that train station. And I'm not reasoning this out, either, beyond "Well, if I go the wrong way I can always turn around". I don't have enough knowledge or recognition to reason anything, at least until I see that RCMH sign. But this clearly isn't chance, either. I don't see any way it could be.
So this whole long post is to explain that even though I can't recognize an area, clearly some useful part of me can in at least some circumstances (sometimes, when places I know should be familiar aren't, I get lost about as often as I'd expect, or even moreso. This isn't surprising, though, which is why I didn't post about it). Which is pretty nifty, although I'd really prefer it if I could just know where I am directly.
One on the stigma-ness of autism, and differing scores of autistics on different types of IQ tests. I'm sure I've posted this before.
One on asking autistics to define autism. "The most striking observations were that all of them pointed out that unusual perceptions and information processing, as well as impairments in emotional regulation, were the core symptoms of autism, whereas the current classifications do not mention them." I find this statement to be promising.
One on how many autistic children perceive eye contact as threatening. This wasn't even news back in 2005.
And the one I tangentially want to talk about, about a woman with perceptual differences (seeing objects inconsistently where they definitely aren't, go read it) and how she adapts, well enough that she didn't realize she had these problems until she was an adult. Got it from
autismhub.I'm posting that article first because it's an awesome article and you totally need to read it (go, now!), but also because it provides a decent segue (if not exactly an excellent one) into something I've wanted to post for a few weeks but haven't figured out how to bring up. I'm still not sure how to talk about it and be clear, so bear with me - this is a perceptual difference of my own that's confusing the heck out of me, so I have no idea how I can convey it to everybody else!
Prosopagnosia (faceblindness) gets a lot of press. And I have that to some extent (back when Jenn was changing her hair all the time she occasionally changed it without telling me. I couldn't locate her in a crowd when she did. This is far from the most noticeable example of face-recognizing problems I've had), but what *really* impacts my life is my combination of total-lack-of-direction-ness and place blindness (which hey, rhymes with face blindness!). The first is bad enough - given two different routes to one location, I can walk both of them but still not be able to figure how they match up to make a whole; given three different turns, I cannot then move around and point to my starting point, nor can I guess which way I need to turn to get to a pre-determined end point, even if I know its relation to my start. The second is worse. Things that reasonably ought to look familiar don't, or don't consistently, anyway.
I have posted about this before, but not recently, so let me explain. If I enter a building from a different door than I usually do - even if it's, say, the door I *exit* from and I'm familiar with that lobby! - I will usually not see the building as a familiar place, nor be able to orient myself. If I approach a location from a different direction from usual, or at a different time of day or year, it will look like an entirely different place to me. And heaven forbid scaffolding has gone up or down, or they've repainted...! My family used to joke that if they turned me around, I'd get lost. Yeah, yeah, it's only funny because it is literally true. There was the time a family friend (whose daughter herself happens to be on the spectrum) dropped me off directly in front of my house, but on the opposite side of the street. I was ten at the time. I didn't recognize my house. I turned all the way around and must have looked directly at it, and I didn't recognize it. She had to lead me across the street, and I didn't realize where I was until I was on my porch.
I often mention the time I didn't recognize my own niece and brother-in-law when they were dressed in clothes familiar to me and when I saw them every week. I mention that story because it's unusual for me (though a good example of why "try harder" is a shitty thing to say when I (or anybody!) mention I'm bad with faces). I mention this story, of not recognizing my own home, because it is in fact completely typical of my experiences.
I have ways around this, of course. I look for landmarks. If I know I'm looking at Trinity Church, for example, I can work out where I am. (Landmarks don't have to look familiar to work. If I go to my mother's office from any direction other than the usual one, I look for Radio City Music Hall. It looks unfamiliar to me at any angle but one, but as it says "Radio City Music Hall" on it I know where I am and I can work out where my mother's office is by then looking for her specific facade. It doesn't work backwards - seeing the facade without first finding the landmark gets me nowhere, even if I remember the McDonald's right across the street. And seeing the landmark doesn't mean I recognize the building, that it "clicks" as my mother's office - I just reason it out the same way I would if I had a map but had never been there before. Likewise, back before the WTC fell I could always walk back from Wendy's to my mom at the AMEX by looking at the WTC until I bumped into Trinity Church. I could get from AMEX to Wendy's and recognize everything and not get lost, but not the other way around.)
Occasionally, even being careful to be very consistent and always come to places in the same way with the same entrance and the same time doesn't work and, for whatever reason, that place will *always* look unfamiliar to me. I don't know why. Times Square is one of those places. I really dislike the area for a number of reasons, but a major reason has got to be that no matter what, I can *never* figure out where I am when I'm there. It doesn't matter if I look for familiar landmarks, I still can't work out where anything is compared to where I am and half the time even the landmarks look unfamiliar. Yes, even the one that is in every movie or TV show about NYC ever, with the big electronic billboard. Unless I walk directly into it, I sometimes don't even register it as "hey, that big billboard" in my mind.
But here's something interesting that I've just noticed happening recently, though it may have been going on before then. My mother's office is pretty close to Times Square. A stop away on the train, actually, but sometimes I end up getting off at 42nd Street instead. Now, if I'm going up there I always get on the first car so I can get out at the most uptown exit. So if I get out at 42nd Street instead, I always get out at the same exit and, following the signs, take the same path (the only logical path) to get to the street. The time in the station is interesting in itself - periods of no recognition of where I am whatsoever interspersed with brief areas where I *do* recognize my location, but only distantly... like having seen pictures of the place often, but never having been even though I do know that I've been in that place before.
But I make my way to the street and my first goal, even beyond "get to my mother's office" is "get out of Times Square". I really don't like the place, you know. Now, once I head down a block I can work out, thanks to the grid system, which cardinal direction I've headed in. Then, if I'm wrong, I can easily backtrack (though as a New Yorker I hate to do this - more on this later) and make my way to any street address I please. I don't have any intuitive knowledge of left and right and curvy turns this way and that way, but in most of Manhattan I don't need it - all *I* need is to work out which way uptown is and I'm set. So I'm not too concerned - sure, I have a 50% chance of heading in the wrong direction initially (east or west), but then I'm clear.
But here's the weird thing. Even though that exit and corner is in "totally unfamiliar" territory, as is the entire surrounding area, the past five or six times I've gotten out there I've gone in the right direction every time. And I know, because every time I get out of Times Square, look around, think I've gone in the wrong direction because everything looks totally unfamiliar - and then spot Radio City Music Hall and realize where I am.
Let's be clear. I'm not remembering (at least, not on any level I can consciously access) which way to go. This isn't mostly unfamiliar, this is as unfamiliar as if I was dropped in Toronto, no matter how many times I leave that train station. And I'm not reasoning this out, either, beyond "Well, if I go the wrong way I can always turn around". I don't have enough knowledge or recognition to reason anything, at least until I see that RCMH sign. But this clearly isn't chance, either. I don't see any way it could be.
So this whole long post is to explain that even though I can't recognize an area, clearly some useful part of me can in at least some circumstances (sometimes, when places I know should be familiar aren't, I get lost about as often as I'd expect, or even moreso. This isn't surprising, though, which is why I didn't post about it). Which is pretty nifty, although I'd really prefer it if I could just know where I am directly.
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 02:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 05:53 pm (UTC)There seems to be no rhyme nor reason to which spot gets which variation.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-22 09:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 06:38 am (UTC)The other possibility is you have a personal bias for which way to turn when you don't know which way to go. You may not be equally likely to go left as right. Your preferences may also be affected by various factors. Maybe a wall in a certain location makes a particular direction feel better or worse for you. It's possible this particular path happens to coincide with random preferences for which way to turn when you have nothing to go on.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-30 02:45 am (UTC)Also, Conuly, you have my sympathy. I've finally learned to read maps and a few other tricks, but I also have a milder version of the problem you describe. I once got completely lost only a block away from my apartment building. But at least once I spotted the building, I knew it. Your situation must be terrifying!
One trick my mother taught me that has helped, is to stop and turn around frequently when walking somewhere, so I will recognize my path from the opposite direction. I don't know if that will help you or not, but it helped for me.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-30 03:01 am (UTC)Yeah, but then I'd look like a tourist. *shrugs*