Taken from kynn

[conuly]

An editorial asking what, exactly, would've happened if Susan Boyle had *not* been able to sing.

I had been thinking that too.

Comments

[leora.livejournal.com]

I think it depends why you're assuming she's crap. I assumed she probably couldn't sing well because most people can't. Because lots of people who can do something with it by age 47. And because way too many people sing crappy versions of I Dreamed a Dream. And I assume most people on talent shows won't be that good.

What's shocking is to have a complete unknown come out and be amazingly good.

If she couldn't sing, well, she'd be laughed at. But I figure that is what you sign yourself up for on a talent show. We're laughing at the pretty young 20somethings who go out on such shows and actually suck, right? I thought we were. That was the deal. You go public and the public judges you. If you're good, you get discovered. If you suck, you get laughed at.

Don't we assume most people who say they want to be famous like Elaine Paige and sing I Dreamed a Dream are going to be laughable?

I guess for me it was never that much about her age or appearance in the first place. Sure that adds something to the story, but I don't watch the show, and I assumed they tease every contestant who comes out.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

My household has long been TV-free, so I've only ever seen bits of these shows at other peoples' house, and what I've seen has not made me wish to see more. The most appalling examples of plastic pop-culture clone-hood, consumers in the true sense of 'useless eaters', displaying their shallow values and malicious cruelty under a thin crust of saccharine, pah!, what utter garbage!

I'm very happy for Susan Boyle's triumph, and I say she struck a blow for all of the Odd and Obscure who've been taking shit off these painted peacocks since grade school. However, if she hadn't truly been able to sing, she'd have been an utter idiot to walk out on that stage at all, because anyone who watches for five minutes has to know that Mocking The Weirdos is the primary purpose of those shows.

It was very obvious that those judges knew what kind of voice she had before she started singing. They were not surprised. And it seemed to me that even after her stunning performance, their words to her were deliberately condescending. Okay, so those judges are assholes; all those so-called Reality shows are apparently made by and for assholes; if Susan Boyle hadn't been able to sing, they'd have shredded her soul, because they are Not Nice People.

So why does 'everybody' keep watching them? Who the hell cares who the Next Top Model (for three months) is? Sheesh.

LOL, people used to keep telling me I'd be great on Survivor!. I only ever saw one episode, and there was definitely a bunch of pretty-pretty people who, OMG, did not know how to handle a boat. That was quite amusing, but no way would I ever want to be stuck on an island with that lot, because I would probably be forced in the end to kill them and eat them. Certainly somebody should.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

"It was very obvious that those judges knew what kind of voice she had before she started singing." Sure, she'd been vetted by somebody, the word would have spread "she's really very good, give her a try." Those guys in the wings knew all about her, the ones going "See? See? Bet you weren't expecting that!"

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Someone sent me the link without telling me what it was. I admit I took one look and prejudged her content, her material. And I did it by her looks, not "ugly", but by age and style. She's younger than we are, but not by much. Between her '20s hairstyle and dress, and her joshing around and satirical hip-rolling, I had her pegged as "English music hall" from the get-go. I happen to love that stuff and settled back thinking Gracie Fields. I was so sure she was going to do "The Bird on Nellie's Hat" or something from Gilbert & Sullivan. Well, I was half right. She did do a show tune, but she's no Gracie, if I were to compare her to anyone from that era it would be Lillian Russell. (And I'd love to hear her sing "Come Down, My Evening Star".)

Actually, she reminds me of Rita Gorr. Effortless. What astonished me about her voice was its youthful quality. It is the voice of a much younger woman. But unlike most modern singers, she's very easy on the ears. Halfway through it, I remember thinking "I want to buy the album."

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I though much the same - I was expecting her to sing something like Wouldn't It Be Loverly or Henery the Eighth.

I have to wonder a bit if her 'frumpy' appearance was stage-managed to heighten the contrast between her looks and her voice, because even a geeky 40-something choir-girl from a small British hamlet would have to be aware that people don't usually dress like that on those shows, and if she wasn't aware, surely someone would have said something.

BTW, hi you guys! *hugs* Long time no see; I hope you had a nice Passover. Me bro sends his regards!

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

*hugs* And to you, and your brother too. We had a very quiet Passover accompanied by stomach flu. Better now.

I think that Susan does a bit of her own stage managing. She's very down-to-earth, she's very aware of her own appearance, and this has to be not the first time people who weren't used to her were surprised by the contrast.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about this... and I have a counter question:

What is Susan Boyle were 22 and pretty.

Let's say she had the exact same beautiful, beautiful singing voice. Let's say she got the same ribbing from the judges and said the same things, but she was 22 and quite pretty.

Would people like her as much now? Would she be getting a recording contract as easily?

Is that any less shallow?

I don't know the answers, but it just occurred to me that people who judged her for her looks and age from the start probably like her better for those things now... and is that any more sensible?

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

I think people would like her as much, and she'd probably be getting a recording contract more easily, because "22 and quite pretty" would have more potential staying-power than "47 and rather dowdy". Recording companies are nothing if not cynical: Susan Boyle is having her 15 minutes of fame, and if they're lucky, they'll catch that wave, but... what are the chances of her having a second successful album? Not so good.

A pretty 22-year-old with that same voice could potentially become a mega-star with a scintillating 40-year career ahead of her. At 47, apparently Susan Boyle knows nothing of the cut-throat celebrity machine, and what a good thing for her that is. I hope she has fun while her fame lasts, makes a bundle on her first album, and then retires with honor to considerably-more-comfortable obscurity before the game turns cold.

Everybody judges everybody else by their appearance all the time, and people who claim they don't are not fooling anyone but themselves. But how a person is judged depends on the individual doing the judging. I cringed when she came out because she was so obviously dressed and groomed inappropriately for the setting, not because of her looks and age. Most of the women I know are around my age (51) or older, poor, geeky and/or overweight, and yet none of them dress like Mrs. Doubtfire.

I've never believed that these Reality shows are as spontaneous as they pretend. I think they're just as staged as World Federation Wrestling. Of course the whole thing was a set-up for a big simplemindedly moralistic "Awwwwwww!" moment; this is television, after all, aimed at the lowest common denominator.

Sheesh, perhaps one could even say that Susan Boyle is being used as a dog-bone to toss to the Proles: one of 'their own' triumphing over the idle rich with the pure beauty of her voice, as 'proof' that their dreams of wealth and fame are not hopeless. A pretty fairy-tale to placate the hoi-polloi as they sit home eating ramen in front of the tube.

Be that as it may, her voice is lovely, and good on her for getting out there and proving it to the world while she still can. I'm looking forward to hearing her album, especially because it won't have all those utter morons screaming on it. WTF is wrong with those jerks, anyway? When someone is singing, you don't scream; you don't even whisper; what you do is listen, and shut yer pie 'ole so others can listen too. There's little point in dressing up like a princess if one is going to display the manners of trailer-trash; the contrast is hardly flattering.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Sure, but would it have been passed around the internet so quickly? Would it have made the news, as apparently it did?

Would anyone bothered to have tossed me the link?

She'd get a contract. My question is what sort of reaction would people have had to her?

I probably would have ended up hearing of her. She sings show tunes, and my sister is very into musical theater. So, she tends to introduce me to any new big name in musical theater singing. But would so many people care? After all, there are many lovely singers who sing show tunes, but does it really appeal to those who like other music?

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Nah, of course it wouldn't have passed around so quickly. It wouldn't have been unusual; pretty 22-year-olds with pretty voices who want to be on TV shows like that are a dime a dozen. Women of 47 who are willing to do it are rarer; I think many would figure there was little to be gained if they won and a certainty of public humiliation if they lost. Also, most women of 47 don't have voices that good.

The whole thing is, admittedly, pretty shallow. But shallowness is the defining quality of pop-culture. Susan Boyle is the embodiment of vicarious fantasy for all those people who watch shows like that and wish they could be out there singing to the glitterati, only they're too fat, too old, poor, too shy, too geeky, etc, and know they'd never stand a chance.

[dandelion.livejournal.com]

"A pretty 22-year-old with that same voice could potentially become a mega-star with a scintillating 40-year career ahead of her."
No, she wouldn't. She might become well-known on the musicals circuit, but she wouldn't get an album deal out of Britain's Got Talent. She'd be the wrong sort of singer. The singers who do well in that competition are all middle-aged or children (and sing classical music, too).

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

That's a good point. I haven't seen enough of these shows to know how they really work.