conuly

Not last night but the night before,
Twenty-four robbers came knocking at my door,
As I ran out, they ran in,
Hit me over the head with a bottle of gin.
Spanish dancer, do the splits,
Turn around, touch the ground,
Spanish dancer, get outta town!

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay,
Our teacher died today,
We threw her in the bay,
She scared the sharks away.
When we took her out
She looked like sauerkraut,
Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay,
Our teacher died today.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school,
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule,
We are marching down the corridors to kill the Principal
The kids go marching on,
Glory glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
I hit her on the bean with a rotten tangerine [or Russian submarine]
And she ain't gonna teach no more.

(LOL, that Russian submarine really dates me, doesn't it? I started kindergarten in 1962.)

Miss Lucy had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell,
Miss Lucy went to heaven and
The steamboat went to...
Hello operator,
Please get me number nine,
And if you disconnect me
I'll kick you in the...
Behind the 'frigerator
There was a piece of glass,
Miss Lucy fell upon it
And broke her little...
Ask me no more questions,
I'll tell you no more lies,
The boys are in the bathroom
Pulling up their...
Flies are in the country,
Bees are in the park,
The boys and girls are kissing in the
D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, dark!

Oh I wish I was a fascinating lady,
I'd sleep all day and work all night
And live in a house with a little red light,
And once a month I'd take a short vacation
And leave all the men in utter desperation,
And once a year I'd go hog wild
And have myself an illegitimate child,
Oh I wish I was a fascinating lady
Instead of... a Girl Scout.

(Written by my friend Kat on a Girl Scout campout.)