On using things as crutches...

[conuly]

Today, I managed to hear from two people, talking about two other people, about "not wanting to use something as a crutch". I'm not completely sure why, but this phrase bothers me. It assumes that crutches are a bad thing. Maybe they are. But let's look at my mother, who had to use a crutch, literally, when her foot was broken. She often didn't, and is STILL having trouble with it over a year later. Is it okay to use a crutch as a crutch? When you really need it?

One of the people who is presumably against crutches pointed out that she was depressed for two years, and she just dealt with it without taking any medication or talking to anybody or anything, and then implied (or said, rather) that people who use such crutches, especially medications, are weak. Maybe. But who cares? So they're weak. While you're muddling through, and possibly not getting through your depression at all, they can be living their lives. Some people don't need that sort of help, and if you don't, I'm happy for you, you saved a lot of money. But others really do, and if they're using medication as a crutch, big deal. Isn't that the whole point, to use it as a crutch until you're better?

I'm sure they mean "use something you don't need as an excuse to avoid helping yourself", or something equally convoluted, but I don't see that as the same as using a crutch. Sometimes crutches are a good thing, not a horrible unspeakable evil from beyond the grave.

*sighs*

And that was today's mini-rant. Tune in next week for one (finally) summing up the Pledge, because I'm bored and running out of non-political stuff to say.

Comments

[wakasplat.livejournal.com]

"It feels like someone saying, 'You don't need painkillers for your broken arm. I cut my finger a couple of years ago and I did just fine'."

Although this does actually in turn trivialize the experiences of people who have dealt with profound depression in a way that didn't involve drugs. It makes it sound like if you didn't use drugs, then thinking your way out of it must have been easy, and it must have been mild. When there are people who don't use drugs who had the can-barely-move constantly-suicidal-for-years kind depression and got over it.

I think it boils down to personal choice and what works for each person. I had the kind of depression that was labeled by shrinks as chemical, but the chemicals they gave me didn't touch it (and I tried tons of them, at tons of doses), and caused all kinds of side-effects that were nasty and withdrawal that was nasty. I got away from shrinks, dedicated *all of my time* to solving it without drugs, and it took years, and I think I'm finally getting undepressed. In retrospect, I think I was depressed from the ages of 7 to 22, and toward the last 10 years of that getting more and more depressed.

If I could've taken a drug that would've gotten me out of it, sure, I would've. There weren't any. My depression was no less severe than people who take drugs or even some who get electroshock (and I wasn't about to try that option, since I had friends who were brain-damaged by it, lost a lot of memory, *and still depressed*, didn't think it was worth the risk). I just didn't have the option of chemicals. So I took the only options I had left.

But some people find it insulting or belittling that I didn't use drugs to get out of it -- they see it as me saying that my depression wasn't serious or chronic but that I can tell them what to do. Not telling anyone what to do, people can do what works for them. Drugs didn't work for me. (In fact for me they had the effect of leaving the depression completely untouched but messing with my impulse control, which was more dangerous for me. I preferred the depression-induced semi-catatonic state that kept me from killing myself, rather than being just as depressed but with the sluggishness removed.) Other things did work for me. It happens. I think the chemicals in my brain were acting just as wonky as anyone else's who's depressed, but messing with them by putting other chemicals in my body didn't help me or even take the edge off. Had to find another way, and it was a hard way I sometimes thought wouldn't work, and it took all of my effort, and a lot of support, and a lot of thinking I might kill myself but being unable to turn to the psych system because they had no tools for me and had a lot of potential to harm me, but I feel better, finally.

As far as the crutch metaphor, definitely agree that it's a lousy one. Crutches are useful. Drugs can be useful (especially if they're the person's personal choice and not a forcing/goading issue). I have a friend who got mad when someone said "using something as a crutch". She said "What's wrong with crutches? People use 'em when they break their legs." The guy said said, "Okay fine, a wheelchair then." Great. I hadn't known *wheelchairs* were a new symbol for laziness, I thought they were another tool. It's scary what people think about assistive technology sometimes.