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conuly
Information on cumulative tales
Deniz, Su, and their mother came over for a visit a week or so ago. We baked cookies.
While the cookies were in the oven (and near to being done, so I felt more or less stuck there so they'd finish baking and yet not burn), the kids played in Ana's room. Well, I say they played - mostly, they squabbled. One or another of them was everlastingly coming out and tattling. And we dealt with this largely by popping our head in now and again and by telling them what to say when so-and-so took their toys, or wouldn't share, or whatever. We asked if they needed us to hang by the door, and they insisted they didn't. Well, so long as there's no violence, whatever.
And we could hear everything they said anyway. It's not that big a house.
Eventually, Deniz threw a toy into the girls' room, and I'd just taken the second batch of cookies out of the oven, so everybody got called into the kitchen. To Talk.
Deniz, when asked, said that she threw the toy because she didn't want to go in there - they were being mean, and Ana and Su said they hated her.
Ana, when asked, said that she only said she hated Deniz because Deniz hurt her feelings by telling her to shut up when she was trying to say something IMPORTANT, and Su told her to shut up too!
Deniz, now, said that she only said "shut up" because Su and Ana were "being annoying" and distracting her from swinging on the hammocks, and that was mean.
Ana said that she she was only trying to talk to Deniz because Deniz was ignoring her, and only swinging on the hammocks, and she was making Su ignore her too, and that hurt her feelings.
At this point they were sure there was nothing to add to the story. I was already exhausted, but I recapped anyway, in true cumulative format - "So, Deniz, you threw the toy because they were being mean, but they were being mean because you snapped at them, but you snapped at them because they were annoying, but they were only being annoying because you were ignoring them, right? Got it!"
Then I went through it again, slowly, and had them each apologise for every individual wrong-doing, again in cumulative format. Since this meant two apologies each from Ana and Deniz (the ringleaders), and I was repeating the entire story every time, there was some giggling at the end. Then I had Su apologise for consistently following their bad examples - every time one of them was mean to the other, Su joined in!, and had Ana and Deniz apologise (more giggling) for setting bad examples in the first place.
"After all, Su, you should follow Evangeline's example. She didn't lead you astray yet."
"YES I DID!"
"...Fine. Evangeline, say sorry for... just say sorry."
"SORRY! *glareglareglare*"
"Okay then. Let's have cookies."
I wasn't sure they deserved cookies, but we'd just baked them, they were gonna eat them.
And everybody got along for the rest of the visit.
Deniz, Su, and their mother came over for a visit a week or so ago. We baked cookies.
While the cookies were in the oven (and near to being done, so I felt more or less stuck there so they'd finish baking and yet not burn), the kids played in Ana's room. Well, I say they played - mostly, they squabbled. One or another of them was everlastingly coming out and tattling. And we dealt with this largely by popping our head in now and again and by telling them what to say when so-and-so took their toys, or wouldn't share, or whatever. We asked if they needed us to hang by the door, and they insisted they didn't. Well, so long as there's no violence, whatever.
And we could hear everything they said anyway. It's not that big a house.
Eventually, Deniz threw a toy into the girls' room, and I'd just taken the second batch of cookies out of the oven, so everybody got called into the kitchen. To Talk.
Deniz, when asked, said that she threw the toy because she didn't want to go in there - they were being mean, and Ana and Su said they hated her.
Ana, when asked, said that she only said she hated Deniz because Deniz hurt her feelings by telling her to shut up when she was trying to say something IMPORTANT, and Su told her to shut up too!
Deniz, now, said that she only said "shut up" because Su and Ana were "being annoying" and distracting her from swinging on the hammocks, and that was mean.
Ana said that she she was only trying to talk to Deniz because Deniz was ignoring her, and only swinging on the hammocks, and she was making Su ignore her too, and that hurt her feelings.
At this point they were sure there was nothing to add to the story. I was already exhausted, but I recapped anyway, in true cumulative format - "So, Deniz, you threw the toy because they were being mean, but they were being mean because you snapped at them, but you snapped at them because they were annoying, but they were only being annoying because you were ignoring them, right? Got it!"
Then I went through it again, slowly, and had them each apologise for every individual wrong-doing, again in cumulative format. Since this meant two apologies each from Ana and Deniz (the ringleaders), and I was repeating the entire story every time, there was some giggling at the end. Then I had Su apologise for consistently following their bad examples - every time one of them was mean to the other, Su joined in!, and had Ana and Deniz apologise (more giggling) for setting bad examples in the first place.
"After all, Su, you should follow Evangeline's example. She didn't lead you astray yet."
"YES I DID!"
"...Fine. Evangeline, say sorry for... just say sorry."
"SORRY! *glareglareglare*"
"Okay then. Let's have cookies."
I wasn't sure they deserved cookies, but we'd just baked them, they were gonna eat them.
And everybody got along for the rest of the visit.
