An open letter to the mystery writers of the world

[conuly]

Look, I love your little small-town dynamics you've got going on here. And I can accept that a town of 50 people will have all sorts of different people. And a craft store.

I do *not* accept that a town of 50 people can have all sorts of ax murderers and ten craft stores, though.

No, not even if you attract 10,000,000 summer visitors every year.

Really.

Thank you in consideration. I just know you'll fix the situation soon.

Comments

[plaid-slytherin.livejournal.com]

My dad always used to say that small-town life couldn't be all that idyllic, if just as many people get murdered in Cabot Cove as get murdered in NYC. :D

[conuly]

Proportionately, Cabot Cove is a death trap!

[rainbow-goddess.livejournal.com]

What I'm wondering is why nobody found it odd that no matter where Jessica Fletcher went, even outside of Cabot Cove, people got murdered almost as soon as she showed up.

What I find amusing is that when I read a mystery series set in a small town, I know that as soon as the author introduces a new person to the town, that person is either going to be the murder victim or the murderer. And if there are two new people, one is the killer and one is the victim. So once one of them gets killed, I know whodunit almost immediately.

I also wonder about the competence of small-town police when a librarian/post-office clerk/caterer/stay-at-home-parent/other random town resident is the one solving all the murders.

[darkpoole.livejournal.com]

No mystery at all. Jessica Fletcher is a serial killer who's MO includes always sticking around to frame someone else for her crime. She's very good at covering her tracks.

[conuly]

Me, I wonder about the competence of the librarian/post-office clerk/caterer/SAHP/etc. instead. No matter how bright we're told they are, they only ever seem to find the killer by accident.

"Gee, I'm certain so-and-so is the one what done the dastardly deed! Senor Creepy can't be it! I'll just go over to his house with a cake to gloat! Wait... what's with all this blood on the floor? OH! NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE! I HAVE TO GET OUT OF H-"

And that is all they write before they get themselves rescued by the cute guy they totally aren't interested in, no really.

And Jessica Fletcher is totally a serial killer. Honestly, she got away with it because it's just so obvious, nobody would be stupid enough to think it was her! (Her password for her online bank account is also "password", you understand. With her, it works.)

[plaid-slytherin.livejournal.com]

My dad always used to say that small-town life couldn't be all that idyllic, if just as many people get murdered in Cabot Cove as get murdered in NYC. :D

[conuly]

Proportionately, Cabot Cove is a death trap!

[rainbow-goddess.livejournal.com]

What I'm wondering is why nobody found it odd that no matter where Jessica Fletcher went, even outside of Cabot Cove, people got murdered almost as soon as she showed up.

What I find amusing is that when I read a mystery series set in a small town, I know that as soon as the author introduces a new person to the town, that person is either going to be the murder victim or the murderer. And if there are two new people, one is the killer and one is the victim. So once one of them gets killed, I know whodunit almost immediately.

I also wonder about the competence of small-town police when a librarian/post-office clerk/caterer/stay-at-home-parent/other random town resident is the one solving all the murders.

[darkpoole.livejournal.com]

No mystery at all. Jessica Fletcher is a serial killer who's MO includes always sticking around to frame someone else for her crime. She's very good at covering her tracks.

[conuly]

Me, I wonder about the competence of the librarian/post-office clerk/caterer/SAHP/etc. instead. No matter how bright we're told they are, they only ever seem to find the killer by accident.

"Gee, I'm certain so-and-so is the one what done the dastardly deed! Senor Creepy can't be it! I'll just go over to his house with a cake to gloat! Wait... what's with all this blood on the floor? OH! NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE! I HAVE TO GET OUT OF H-"

And that is all they write before they get themselves rescued by the cute guy they totally aren't interested in, no really.

And Jessica Fletcher is totally a serial killer. Honestly, she got away with it because it's just so obvious, nobody would be stupid enough to think it was her! (Her password for her online bank account is also "password", you understand. With her, it works.)