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conulyWith thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elenbarathi, who of course thanked me for the original link!
When I posted the link, it was of course much past my bedtime, so I didn't leave any commentary. But I meant to get back to it, and here I am.elenbarathi said much of what I would have said, but I want to say some things in my own words anyway.
I don't endorse Radical Honesty as written up in the article, if for no other reason than that I think it's a lot more trouble than it's worth, even if you're really bad at lying.
But I also don't like the sort of social lying that's more or less expected in this society. It grates on my nerves, and also seems to cause more trouble than it's worth.
So for a while now, I've been trying to take a middle path - upfront and honest, but not gratuitously mean about it. (Like I say on my user info, sometimes I really am trying to offend, but usually it's a mistake, and I'll be perfectly honest if asked which it is.)
I think it's working well - I seem to have friends who care about me, and who don't really hate my guts but are too nice to say so. And, funnily enough, I find that after enough exposure to my ideas, they get a lot more honest, at least when with me! And I like myself, more or less. But... I don't know. I still like input.
So I'm asking you, nicely - how honest, exactly, is too honest? I mean, what circumstances exist that you think it's generally better to suck it up and say the scripted, socially approved lie? Or, alternatively, what circumstances demand telling an unpleasant, unsolicited truth (I'll try to always tell the truth when asked, so I do advise people never to ask for an opinion or some advice unless they really want it)?
elenbarathi, who of course thanked me for the original link!When I posted the link, it was of course much past my bedtime, so I didn't leave any commentary. But I meant to get back to it, and here I am.
elenbarathi said much of what I would have said, but I want to say some things in my own words anyway.I don't endorse Radical Honesty as written up in the article, if for no other reason than that I think it's a lot more trouble than it's worth, even if you're really bad at lying.
But I also don't like the sort of social lying that's more or less expected in this society. It grates on my nerves, and also seems to cause more trouble than it's worth.
So for a while now, I've been trying to take a middle path - upfront and honest, but not gratuitously mean about it. (Like I say on my user info, sometimes I really am trying to offend, but usually it's a mistake, and I'll be perfectly honest if asked which it is.)
I think it's working well - I seem to have friends who care about me, and who don't really hate my guts but are too nice to say so. And, funnily enough, I find that after enough exposure to my ideas, they get a lot more honest, at least when with me! And I like myself, more or less. But... I don't know. I still like input.
So I'm asking you, nicely - how honest, exactly, is too honest? I mean, what circumstances exist that you think it's generally better to suck it up and say the scripted, socially approved lie? Or, alternatively, what circumstances demand telling an unpleasant, unsolicited truth (I'll try to always tell the truth when asked, so I do advise people never to ask for an opinion or some advice unless they really want it)?
