It's weird....

[conuly]

Lately (like, in the past few months), I've been a lot more coordinated than I used to be (Elise claims I run like a penguin, which I probably do, but now at least I can run like a coordinated, graceful penguin, I'm sure), but other things aren't so easy. Like, I have a harder time finding the words to say what I want to say than I used to. The words are there, but they're not coming together without thinking, which isn't the way it ought to be. And I put them together and they look/sound just a bit *wrong*, like I've gained an accent. Or at least, I think I'm having more trouble/less trouble like this - maybe I'm the same as I always was, but my introspection is for shit?

So far, my theories are "something's wrong", "something's wrong with your environment/diet/schedule and everything will go back to normal if you identify the problem and fix it", and "no, this is an inevitable part of life, things change, deal with it".

Any ideas? Because while I'm not actually concerned, I certainly am curious.

(Of course, it might also be that I'm making more of an effort to be non-offending (not the same as inoffensive, or I would have said that) and it's showing? Maybe?)

Comments

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Are you saying that self-consciousness is a symptom, or possibly a cause?

[conuly]

Could it be both at the same time? Because I don't think it caused the trend.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

I would think it could be both, mutually reinforcing, but apparently I have odd logic sometimes.

[conuly]

That makes a lot of sense, no worries there. I was thinking that as I made my comment, really. But I like input. It's nice. And inputty.

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

(Of course, it might also be that I'm making more of an effort to be non-offending (not the same as inoffensive, or I would have said that) and it's showing? Maybe?)

This could possibly be it, you know. I've noticed my words are more...measured when I am taking the time to assess their impact before letting them out of my head. Sometimes it feels unnatural for sure, but it is usually much preferable to the let-it-all-out approach I was used to. Not all the time, of course, but there are moments when Tact steps in and taps me on the shoulder, saying "Maybe you should give that some care...".

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Are you saying that self-consciousness is a symptom, or possibly a cause?

[conuly]

Could it be both at the same time? Because I don't think it caused the trend.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

I would think it could be both, mutually reinforcing, but apparently I have odd logic sometimes.

[conuly]

That makes a lot of sense, no worries there. I was thinking that as I made my comment, really. But I like input. It's nice. And inputty.

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

(Of course, it might also be that I'm making more of an effort to be non-offending (not the same as inoffensive, or I would have said that) and it's showing? Maybe?)

This could possibly be it, you know. I've noticed my words are more...measured when I am taking the time to assess their impact before letting them out of my head. Sometimes it feels unnatural for sure, but it is usually much preferable to the let-it-all-out approach I was used to. Not all the time, of course, but there are moments when Tact steps in and taps me on the shoulder, saying "Maybe you should give that some care...".