Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce for you the concept of the

[conuly]

Indoor voice.

The indoor voice is a very special way of talking we use when we are indoors or inside. It is a quiet voice. Acceptable variations on the indoor voice include whispers, writing, moving ones lips, and sign language.

They do not include screaming nonsense back in forth at the top of your lungs. Seriously, no.

For the purpose of this discussion, indoors shall include any area that includes at least one door. There are some exceptions (sports arenas, for example, tend to use outdoor voices), but that's the basic clue. You are in an enclosed space with a door.

A bus, for example, is indoors. In addition to the aforementioned door, you can tell your indoor/outdoor status by the presence of a roof, several walls, and any number of people who don't know you and don't *want* to know you, much less hear you scream.

Children are not exempt from the indoor voice rule. While it is to be expected that children, being new to the world, will have difficulty remembering when they are indoors or outdoors, and also may have difficulty knowing how to speak quietly (vocal modulation here), it must be understood that any child so young is to be accompanied at all times by a responsible adult.

Responsible adults may briefly use their outdoor voice to tell the children in their charge to shut up already! This is an acceptable breach of normal indoor/outdoor rules. Other alternatives include distraction, duct tape, and egress into an outdoor area.

Should the responsible adult be unwilling to take care of the child(ren) in question, any other adult is hereby authorized to yell the words "SHUT UP!" or "Indoor voice, people!" instead. Especially on a bus. But not me, because my throat hurts already. I've come down with a bad case of hypochondria.

Sincerely,

Me.


(The person in question wasn't even *trying* with these two kids. She seemed to think that staring out the window was an acceptable alternative to stopping her kids from 1. yelling 2. climbing over the seats 3. smacking each other)

Comments

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

Although personally I'm against the use of such language as "shut up" either by the parent to the kids or strangers to either the parent or the kid.

[conuly]

First part of this didn't shut up, try again?

And yeah, I'd always start with "indoor voice, guys" myself, followed by threats to not do ANYTHING fun if I didn't get some peace and quiet. (And I mean them, too.)

[conuly]

*show up

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

That's all I wrote...

[conuly]

You started your sentence with although?

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

I did. I don't always have the best communication skills...

[conuly]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I should have been more considerate.

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

You didn't make me uncomfortable at all - don't worry. I guess the missing prelude was "for the most part I agree with you".

[leora.livejournal.com]

I used to work as a substitute teacher... one of the worst situations is a bunch of Elementary students being way too loud... and then about half of them start shouting that they need to be quiet. While I appreciate the sentiment, having several children shouting for quiet does not, in fact, help in any way and does add to the noise.

Turning off the lights actually works remarkably well. Alas, this solution is not available on buses or in most public spaces. Stern adult voices though can work sometimes.

[conuly]

What I tell people (or would, if they'd ask) is that the key to getting attention is to stop yelling/screaming and start "projecting". Nice and loud, but clear and you don't strain your voice too much.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Good point. In that particular case, they all knew what was wanted... it was compliance that was the problem. Plus, the kids respond to the general noise level and are less inclined to stop their conversations when others are still talking... even if many of the others are talking to say be quiet. I did find that putting marks on the board to indicate how much recess time they were losing helped to motivate several of them to tell the others to be quiet, but not for them all to shut up at once. Thus lights are good. But that's a kids en masse thing. For individual kids reminders are quite good.

I'm just amused at how unhelpful loud proclamations that people should be helpful can be.

[dv8nation.livejournal.com]

I am a teacher. I've found a little noise to work better. Giving a desk or the blackboard a good whack with my fist lets the kids know to be quite and that they're ticking me off. I've only ever had to do that a few times though.

[dv8nation.livejournal.com]

I so agree with you. If only people would learn that indoor voices are extra true when using cell phones.

Nice Gaeta icon, BTW.

[magnoliafires.livejournal.com]

*wandering in from friendsfriends to say*

Completely. Awesome. Rant.

*toddles off*

[failstoexist.livejournal.com]

I have no indoor voice, or at least can't tell whether I am using it. Never have been able to tell how loud I'm speaking. But at least I *try*, and look around to see if other people look annoyed. Pretty much for that reason alone, I'm very careful about kids and their indoor voices. I know some kids need reminding, because I do, and what if they're like me and really can't tell?

I hate when kids are allowed to run wild. my cousin goes out after music class with a bunch of moms and 2 year olds...apparently, every single kid except my baby cousin runs WILD in the restaurant, dumps food off their plate, screams, etc. and their parents ignore it. my cousin sits and eats and doesn't shriek, thank god, or I'd have to have a *long* talk with her mom.

[conuly]

Most kids really can't tell on their own, and need help, not just knowing how to use their indoor voice, but when. I don't blame the kids, not at all - this is a skill that takes years to learn. That's why the responsible adult needs to be ready to step up and stop it.

Hopefully, those that will have lifelong problems telling will learn at least how to pay attention to see if they're annoying others.

[failstoexist.livejournal.com]

I know how the kids feel, and I try to remind them in a nice way as much as possible, because I know how I feel when my family yells at me to tell me to shut up. I even got a hearing test(normal, as has every school hearing test been) but it's only myself I can't hear.

I just think others don't always understand that kids forget/don't realize, and how frustrating it is when you TRY so hard and you just can't stop it all the time. I can learn how to pay attention, and I can help other adults/older kids how to, but little kids are just too young for that, and the adults with them are the ones who need to learn when people are getting annoyed!

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

Although personally I'm against the use of such language as "shut up" either by the parent to the kids or strangers to either the parent or the kid.

[conuly]

First part of this didn't shut up, try again?

And yeah, I'd always start with "indoor voice, guys" myself, followed by threats to not do ANYTHING fun if I didn't get some peace and quiet. (And I mean them, too.)

[conuly]

*show up

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

That's all I wrote...

[conuly]

You started your sentence with although?

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

I did. I don't always have the best communication skills...

[conuly]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I should have been more considerate.

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

You didn't make me uncomfortable at all - don't worry. I guess the missing prelude was "for the most part I agree with you".

[leora.livejournal.com]

I used to work as a substitute teacher... one of the worst situations is a bunch of Elementary students being way too loud... and then about half of them start shouting that they need to be quiet. While I appreciate the sentiment, having several children shouting for quiet does not, in fact, help in any way and does add to the noise.

Turning off the lights actually works remarkably well. Alas, this solution is not available on buses or in most public spaces. Stern adult voices though can work sometimes.

[conuly]

What I tell people (or would, if they'd ask) is that the key to getting attention is to stop yelling/screaming and start "projecting". Nice and loud, but clear and you don't strain your voice too much.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Good point. In that particular case, they all knew what was wanted... it was compliance that was the problem. Plus, the kids respond to the general noise level and are less inclined to stop their conversations when others are still talking... even if many of the others are talking to say be quiet. I did find that putting marks on the board to indicate how much recess time they were losing helped to motivate several of them to tell the others to be quiet, but not for them all to shut up at once. Thus lights are good. But that's a kids en masse thing. For individual kids reminders are quite good.

I'm just amused at how unhelpful loud proclamations that people should be helpful can be.

[dv8nation.livejournal.com]

I am a teacher. I've found a little noise to work better. Giving a desk or the blackboard a good whack with my fist lets the kids know to be quite and that they're ticking me off. I've only ever had to do that a few times though.

[dv8nation.livejournal.com]

I so agree with you. If only people would learn that indoor voices are extra true when using cell phones.

Nice Gaeta icon, BTW.

[magnoliafires.livejournal.com]

*wandering in from friendsfriends to say*

Completely. Awesome. Rant.

*toddles off*

[failstoexist.livejournal.com]

I have no indoor voice, or at least can't tell whether I am using it. Never have been able to tell how loud I'm speaking. But at least I *try*, and look around to see if other people look annoyed. Pretty much for that reason alone, I'm very careful about kids and their indoor voices. I know some kids need reminding, because I do, and what if they're like me and really can't tell?

I hate when kids are allowed to run wild. my cousin goes out after music class with a bunch of moms and 2 year olds...apparently, every single kid except my baby cousin runs WILD in the restaurant, dumps food off their plate, screams, etc. and their parents ignore it. my cousin sits and eats and doesn't shriek, thank god, or I'd have to have a *long* talk with her mom.

[conuly]

Most kids really can't tell on their own, and need help, not just knowing how to use their indoor voice, but when. I don't blame the kids, not at all - this is a skill that takes years to learn. That's why the responsible adult needs to be ready to step up and stop it.

Hopefully, those that will have lifelong problems telling will learn at least how to pay attention to see if they're annoying others.

[failstoexist.livejournal.com]

I know how the kids feel, and I try to remind them in a nice way as much as possible, because I know how I feel when my family yells at me to tell me to shut up. I even got a hearing test(normal, as has every school hearing test been) but it's only myself I can't hear.

I just think others don't always understand that kids forget/don't realize, and how frustrating it is when you TRY so hard and you just can't stop it all the time. I can learn how to pay attention, and I can help other adults/older kids how to, but little kids are just too young for that, and the adults with them are the ones who need to learn when people are getting annoyed!