On the baby and Ana...
Apr. 8th, 2006 03:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
The baby isn't yet six months, but she's changed a lot since I posted about her, so I thought I'd update the interested parties again.
Here she is! Her development!
This is where she will be in a few weeks, most likely... And, for comparison, the developmental table for a few weeks ago.
More on the six-month baby
1. Baby loves the mei-tai. Great choice to buy it. I want another for Ana, really.
2. I'm taking her out of the sling more often during the day to just sit on the floor and whatever. She *loves* sitting. How great to be a baby, where even sitting is an exciting new sport, right? She can sit and hold things, she doesn't have to lean on the floor. Occasionally, she can even right herself if she starts to topple over.
3. She can't crawl. This is a Very Good Thing. We don't need her to be moving around getting into trouble. If you ask me, she can stay non-mobile until she's past a year, and I have no problems with that. Uh. So long as she's within the normal range - I don't want her to have problems, y'know? She can, however, roll over from her back to her side to her other side to her stomach to her back. Not all at once. This is a Very Bad Thing - now she can fall off of stuff!
4. She can babble a bit - like Ana did, she goes "ma. ma. ma" when she's crying. Poor dear.
5. She can drop things and pick them back up again.
6. She can sit in a high chair.
7. As far as she's concerned, she's ready for solids. As far as the rest of us are concerned...
A. She's not six months old yet - not ready.
B. She *can* sit up well, unsupported.
C. She *does* seem to chew on her own spit a lot.
D. Haven't bothered examining her tongue-thrust reflex. I'll leave that to her parents.
E. She appears to be working on her pincer grasp. Not there yet, though.
F. She's interested in eating. This is *not* a sign that she's ready to eat - it's just that if she wasn't interested in eating, or strongly disinterested in eating, that'd be a bad sign. Make sense?
8. She's able to mimic people a little. She's learned how to bang on the table, she's very interested in clapping, and she can mimic the motions of the simplest finger song we do (all you do is move your hands back and forth, it doesn't get much simpler than that).
In short, she's brilliant :)
As for Ana... Our big chore now is social stuff. If somebody pushes her when they're playing, I want telling me to be her second response - the first one should be to tell whoever it is not to push her. And if that doesn't work, then she should get an adult. So we're working on what to say when somebody is mean (don't push me, don't hit, whatever - at this age, they're not mean, they're just young and cranky), or if you want to share a toy, or so on. I don't want to always have to step in. Just after the first attempt doesn't work. (And it often does.)
And it's working. Slowly. She's getting the hang of asking to use a toy, that sort of thing. Slowly.
We're also big on please and thank you. *grins* For a long time, I wanted her just to say please as part of a full phrase, not just when prompted. Because her language wasn't that great, I didn't mind "water please" so long as it wasn't "water. (what do you say?) Please."
But now we're working on full sentences - May I have some water, please? I would like some water, please. Could you get me a cup of water, please? Connie, please get me some water.
Trouble is that now she has so many templates to use, she isn't sure which to use at any one time. So we have a lot of conversations that run...
Ana: I want water!
Me: *pause*
Ana: WATER!
Me: That's good to know, Ana. But you're not asking very nicely.
Ana: Please!
Me: *waits*
Ana: Please water.
Me: Well, that's nice, but can you try a full sentence?
Ana: Can I... May I... I like some... Connie, I want some water please.
Me: Okay, sweetie. *fills up cup*
Ana: *reaches for cup that's just out of reach*
Me: And now you say...
Ana: Thank you.
I'll pass her a full sentence to use if she seems confuzzled, but that's not helping the problem of choosing which sentence to use. She's getting better at it, though. Slowly.
And then there's the everpresent "yes, please" and "no, thank you". Which she's getting the hang of. Slowly.
She'll get there. It just takes time. And more time. And more time still.
What she needs less work on:
She will spontaneously say sorry if she hurts you or thinks she may have, that's a good thing.
She's getting better at naming why she did things. Some of the time.
Her counting is pretty good, and shapes have come back to the forefront of her mind lately. I want to work on counting more, and start in (again) on number recognition. That'll be fun.... (Once we get there, we can work on recognizing letters, something she's nowhere near interested in yet, because it's work.)
She's more and more able to hit the right note when we sing. This is VERY good, most young children can't do that very well at all :)
She can predict that after the light is red, what happens next is that it'll be green. This sounds like nothing, but it's a big step - it means we can talk about what happens next in a greater context.
She has some concept of time - I can tell her that we'll do something or other "when the sun is up" or "when we get home" or "after we ride the bus", and she knows what that means.
She can put on her socks, shoes, shirt, and pants by herself, so long as they're placed so they can't go on backwards or on the wrong feet. She needs just a little help with her jacket. She can take off all her clothes, including her jacket, by herself.
She can climb up nearly any playground structure, fearless, even the ones she shouldn't be *able* to climb up.
She walks like a Big Kid. Well, she would if she didn't swagger instead, full of confidence at the fact that she's now a Big Kid.
She can eat fairly neatly. Some of us didn't master that skill until much later....
She claims to be able to see pictures in the clouds (I taught her about that), but I don't know that she actually does yet.
She acts out any number of stories and parts. "I'm being a dog. I'm a baby. You don't have milk, but you can have 'tend milk, okay?"
She's nearly three. I don't believe it.
I've come up with a minor solution to her not listening (whether by choice or not) - if it's something important, I've dragged up the "What did I just say?" question. Ana's not so sure about this, but I suspect that repeating what I said may help her remember it - so if I tell her she has to warn me before leaving an area, she may be more likely to do so, and slightly less likely to just wander off. I hope.
In other news, I'm apparently Deniz' favorite adult. Deniz is a four year old friend of Ana's.
I don't know why her mom thinks I'm good with kids. Four year olds are just easy to be with. I mean, they have a tendency towards brattiness, even the nicest ones, but that's not their fault, it's just part of being four. All you have to remember is that children that age are pretty self-centered, and interested in anything and everything. Treat them with a minor amount of interest and respect, show them everything you can, and you've just passed an hour with them in a fairly pleasant manner. In the past week, Deniz and I have: searched for daffodils, and compared them to the one she had in her hair (most of them were larger, but some were tiny, and some of them had white where hers was only yellow); examined a swarm of ants and mentioned that they were all sisters; repeated the mantra that the bees don't want to hurt you (apparently, she listened to this advice for the first time in a year), and gone on a search for yellow things. Oh, and she showed off how she recognizes the numbers up to 100 on a Chinese Food Menu. This wasn't really my idea of *fun*, but it wasn't particularly unpleasant either.
Here she is! Her development!
This is where she will be in a few weeks, most likely... And, for comparison, the developmental table for a few weeks ago.
More on the six-month baby
1. Baby loves the mei-tai. Great choice to buy it. I want another for Ana, really.
2. I'm taking her out of the sling more often during the day to just sit on the floor and whatever. She *loves* sitting. How great to be a baby, where even sitting is an exciting new sport, right? She can sit and hold things, she doesn't have to lean on the floor. Occasionally, she can even right herself if she starts to topple over.
3. She can't crawl. This is a Very Good Thing. We don't need her to be moving around getting into trouble. If you ask me, she can stay non-mobile until she's past a year, and I have no problems with that. Uh. So long as she's within the normal range - I don't want her to have problems, y'know? She can, however, roll over from her back to her side to her other side to her stomach to her back. Not all at once. This is a Very Bad Thing - now she can fall off of stuff!
4. She can babble a bit - like Ana did, she goes "ma. ma. ma" when she's crying. Poor dear.
5. She can drop things and pick them back up again.
6. She can sit in a high chair.
7. As far as she's concerned, she's ready for solids. As far as the rest of us are concerned...
A. She's not six months old yet - not ready.
B. She *can* sit up well, unsupported.
C. She *does* seem to chew on her own spit a lot.
D. Haven't bothered examining her tongue-thrust reflex. I'll leave that to her parents.
E. She appears to be working on her pincer grasp. Not there yet, though.
F. She's interested in eating. This is *not* a sign that she's ready to eat - it's just that if she wasn't interested in eating, or strongly disinterested in eating, that'd be a bad sign. Make sense?
8. She's able to mimic people a little. She's learned how to bang on the table, she's very interested in clapping, and she can mimic the motions of the simplest finger song we do (all you do is move your hands back and forth, it doesn't get much simpler than that).
In short, she's brilliant :)
As for Ana... Our big chore now is social stuff. If somebody pushes her when they're playing, I want telling me to be her second response - the first one should be to tell whoever it is not to push her. And if that doesn't work, then she should get an adult. So we're working on what to say when somebody is mean (don't push me, don't hit, whatever - at this age, they're not mean, they're just young and cranky), or if you want to share a toy, or so on. I don't want to always have to step in. Just after the first attempt doesn't work. (And it often does.)
And it's working. Slowly. She's getting the hang of asking to use a toy, that sort of thing. Slowly.
We're also big on please and thank you. *grins* For a long time, I wanted her just to say please as part of a full phrase, not just when prompted. Because her language wasn't that great, I didn't mind "water please" so long as it wasn't "water. (what do you say?) Please."
But now we're working on full sentences - May I have some water, please? I would like some water, please. Could you get me a cup of water, please? Connie, please get me some water.
Trouble is that now she has so many templates to use, she isn't sure which to use at any one time. So we have a lot of conversations that run...
Ana: I want water!
Me: *pause*
Ana: WATER!
Me: That's good to know, Ana. But you're not asking very nicely.
Ana: Please!
Me: *waits*
Ana: Please water.
Me: Well, that's nice, but can you try a full sentence?
Ana: Can I... May I... I like some... Connie, I want some water please.
Me: Okay, sweetie. *fills up cup*
Ana: *reaches for cup that's just out of reach*
Me: And now you say...
Ana: Thank you.
I'll pass her a full sentence to use if she seems confuzzled, but that's not helping the problem of choosing which sentence to use. She's getting better at it, though. Slowly.
And then there's the everpresent "yes, please" and "no, thank you". Which she's getting the hang of. Slowly.
She'll get there. It just takes time. And more time. And more time still.
What she needs less work on:
She will spontaneously say sorry if she hurts you or thinks she may have, that's a good thing.
She's getting better at naming why she did things. Some of the time.
Her counting is pretty good, and shapes have come back to the forefront of her mind lately. I want to work on counting more, and start in (again) on number recognition. That'll be fun.... (Once we get there, we can work on recognizing letters, something she's nowhere near interested in yet, because it's work.)
She's more and more able to hit the right note when we sing. This is VERY good, most young children can't do that very well at all :)
She can predict that after the light is red, what happens next is that it'll be green. This sounds like nothing, but it's a big step - it means we can talk about what happens next in a greater context.
She has some concept of time - I can tell her that we'll do something or other "when the sun is up" or "when we get home" or "after we ride the bus", and she knows what that means.
She can put on her socks, shoes, shirt, and pants by herself, so long as they're placed so they can't go on backwards or on the wrong feet. She needs just a little help with her jacket. She can take off all her clothes, including her jacket, by herself.
She can climb up nearly any playground structure, fearless, even the ones she shouldn't be *able* to climb up.
She walks like a Big Kid. Well, she would if she didn't swagger instead, full of confidence at the fact that she's now a Big Kid.
She can eat fairly neatly. Some of us didn't master that skill until much later....
She claims to be able to see pictures in the clouds (I taught her about that), but I don't know that she actually does yet.
She acts out any number of stories and parts. "I'm being a dog. I'm a baby. You don't have milk, but you can have 'tend milk, okay?"
She's nearly three. I don't believe it.
I've come up with a minor solution to her not listening (whether by choice or not) - if it's something important, I've dragged up the "What did I just say?" question. Ana's not so sure about this, but I suspect that repeating what I said may help her remember it - so if I tell her she has to warn me before leaving an area, she may be more likely to do so, and slightly less likely to just wander off. I hope.
In other news, I'm apparently Deniz' favorite adult. Deniz is a four year old friend of Ana's.
I don't know why her mom thinks I'm good with kids. Four year olds are just easy to be with. I mean, they have a tendency towards brattiness, even the nicest ones, but that's not their fault, it's just part of being four. All you have to remember is that children that age are pretty self-centered, and interested in anything and everything. Treat them with a minor amount of interest and respect, show them everything you can, and you've just passed an hour with them in a fairly pleasant manner. In the past week, Deniz and I have: searched for daffodils, and compared them to the one she had in her hair (most of them were larger, but some were tiny, and some of them had white where hers was only yellow); examined a swarm of ants and mentioned that they were all sisters; repeated the mantra that the bees don't want to hurt you (apparently, she listened to this advice for the first time in a year), and gone on a search for yellow things. Oh, and she showed off how she recognizes the numbers up to 100 on a Chinese Food Menu. This wasn't really my idea of *fun*, but it wasn't particularly unpleasant either.
Re: Is the seed of mean in theory of mind?
Date: 2006-04-08 10:28 pm (UTC)Re: Is the seed of mean in theory of mind?
Date: 2006-04-08 10:39 pm (UTC)Acting mean and being mean ...
The soul within us is all neutral.
But all we see of another person is their actions, and how we react/how they make us feel.
If this is intense in adulthood - and we have many years expertise and experience coping with it - then how much more difficult it must be for three year old and four year olds!
I think my compassion for younger children has gone up a thousand percent with this simple insight.
Yes, yes, yes: you do explain WHY and HOW the other person might be thinking and feeling.
When do you think meanness becomes a permanent character trait? In the pre-teen years or before?
If there are fixable reasons for meanness, then one can understand and intervene.
Adelaide
Re: Is the seed of mean in theory of mind?
Date: 2006-04-08 10:56 pm (UTC)Hell if I know. But I know that the older you get, the harder it seems to be to change how you act.
Which mayn't be a bad thing, if how you act is in a good way, y'know?
If there are fixable reasons for meanness, then one can understand and intervene.
That's why Ana's always being asked why she did something. That, and that I want her to think about her actions, and I'm guessing she isn't that great at thinking before she acts.
Re: Is the seed of mean in theory of mind?
Date: 2006-04-08 11:00 pm (UTC)Gah.
It's just that some people, when they're mean, you assume something is wrong because they *never* act like that. And others, you understand that it's unintentional, that they're acting perfectly nice, but there's a misunderstanding.
And then you get teenage girls, and others of similar mentality, who think the height of entertainment is to set others up to humiliate themselves. At that point, we're talking about mean as a part of them. Moving past that might be hard.
Re: Is the seed of mean in theory of mind?
Date: 2006-04-08 11:55 pm (UTC)I know most bullies are being bullied in the home... I even instinctively kept trying to be friendly towards her. It didn't work, so I wish I'd been the sort to hit back instead, rather than teaching her that beating up on other little kids makes them act nicely towards you.
Re: Is the seed of mean in theory of mind?
Date: 2006-04-08 11:57 pm (UTC)Honestly, though, my normal belief is that children, like cats and dogs, aren't the problem. If your dog shits on your bed, that's not the dog's fault - and if your child does the same thing, either your expectations are too high, or there's some serious issue going on that is Not The Kid's Fault.
Which doesn't make dealing with them any more pleasant, of course - it just means I get to feel bad when I label some kid in my mind as a brat.
Re: Is the seed of mean in theory of mind?
Date: 2006-04-08 11:58 pm (UTC)