Why I've become an anti-Semite in my old age.

[conuly]

Anti-Semite, for the purposes of this discussion, means anti-Jew, not anti-Semitic-people.

1. I recognize that more Palestinians have died during the conflict over there than Israelis. This means that I support them, and hate Jews.

2. I recognize that more than 6,000,000 people died in the Holocaust. This means that I hate Jews, and think they're all liars.

3. If somebody tries to tell me that every Muslim person in NYC knew about 9/11 before 9/11, I rather sardonically reply that every Jewish person knows the Holocaust didn't happen. This isn't because I love sarcasm, it's because I hate Jews.

4. I have repeatedly chosen to go to schools with large Jewish populations. This is because I hate Jews. Or something.

5. I dislike my cousin Francis because she is Jewish, not because she's annoying. This means that I hate all Jews everywhere, even the tiny little babies.

6. I think the whole situation in Israel is more complicated than Israel GOOD! Arab BAD! This is because I hate Jews.

7. I think that certain Jewish people (Dr. Laura, anyone?) and certain mainstream Christians are just as capable of being hateful as certain Muslims. Yes, this is because I hate Jews.

8. When I selectively read the Koran, I'm looking for those verses that don't tell me to kill non-believers. When I selectively read Torah/the Bible, I'm looking for those verses that do tell me to kill non-believers. This is because I hate Jews.

In summation: I hate people. Lots of people. People I haven't even met. People I'm friends with! I hate you all, and want you dead. Yupyup!

Comments

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

OMG, you vicious horrible awful person! :O

<3<3 I love your rants. They're perfectly balanced between wit and sarcasm. :D

[conuly]

Aw, thanks :)

[ex-chaos-by-699.livejournal.com]

I don't see how a real anti-Semite could survive living in NYC, personally.

You evil Jew-hater, you. *taunt*

[azarias.livejournal.com]

I hate you, too. I hate you because you like bunnies.

[scottrossi.livejournal.com]

haha! that was cute! i was reading somewhere else where it was trying to say that jews were vampires, hahaha. if i find it, i will send you the link, it was humorous.

[dkmnow.livejournal.com]

Yes. Anyone who didn't cheer when Rachel Corrie was crushed to death under an Israeli bulldozer is a filthy Nazi pig.

You forgot to mention that you hate freedom.

[snarkophagus.livejournal.com]

I hate you all, and want you dead.

I've always liked knowing where I stand with people.

Seriously, more people need to be exposed to your commentary. This is fabulous.

[zathras26.livejournal.com]

I know this has nothing to do with your point, btw, but the number of people killed in the Holocaust was actually between 13 and 16 million (estimates vary a bit for various reasons). Six million of that total were Jews, but Jews weren't the only people targeted in the Holocaust, or even the majority of the people killed. Most people don't know that for some reason. Probably because they hate Jews. *cough*

[idonotlikepeas]

I refused to sign a paper the other day that would put a question on our local ballot demanding that the U.S. break off all relations with Israel. I guess that means I hate Ay-rabs. ;)

[rachelkachel]

Pretty sure that's what she was talking about when she said "more than 6,000,000 people".

[zathras26.livejournal.com]

Ah, right, after re-reading that, I see that now. *chuckle* My reading comprehension is basically shot these days, so I'm not surprised I missed the point.

[aberrantangels]

Anyone who didn't cheer when Rachel Corrie was crushed to death under an Israeli bulldozer

You mean Saint Pancake, "defender of pimps, pusher[s] and gun runners"?

(Seriously, as Damon Flood asked about Sadie the Sitter, what keeps the little green snotballers alive? What stops all that venom and bile dissolving their guts before they can spew it out into cyberspace?)

[conuly]

Link to it if you like :)

[conuly]

Most estimates I've seen are a bit lower, from 10-12 million.

[conuly]

ALL relations? Geez, even I don't go that far, and I'm tentatively anti-Zionist (without being anti-Semitic, mind)

[conuly]

Train's delayed? Jewish conspiracy.
Sanitation on strike? Jewish conspiracy.
Missed a cab? Jewish conspiracy.
Bagel's stale? Jewish conspiracy.

It'd be a positive orgasm of hatred.

[conuly]

Twitchy little noses and all!

[conuly]

Vampires? But humans aren't kosher, are they?

[conuly]

They're living perytons, and if you don't get the reference than fie, fie I say!

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

yeah, i've seen about 12,000,000.

and if i die, you might get stuck with seth...lol. :)

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

OMG, you vicious horrible awful person! :O

<3<3 I love your rants. They're perfectly balanced between wit and sarcasm. :D

[conuly]

Aw, thanks :)

[ex-chaos-by-699.livejournal.com]

I don't see how a real anti-Semite could survive living in NYC, personally.

You evil Jew-hater, you. *taunt*

[azarias.livejournal.com]

I hate you, too. I hate you because you like bunnies.

[scottrossi.livejournal.com]

haha! that was cute! i was reading somewhere else where it was trying to say that jews were vampires, hahaha. if i find it, i will send you the link, it was humorous.

[dkmnow.livejournal.com]

Yes. Anyone who didn't cheer when Rachel Corrie was crushed to death under an Israeli bulldozer is a filthy Nazi pig.

You forgot to mention that you hate freedom.

[snarkophagus.livejournal.com]

I hate you all, and want you dead.

I've always liked knowing where I stand with people.

Seriously, more people need to be exposed to your commentary. This is fabulous.

[zathras26.livejournal.com]

I know this has nothing to do with your point, btw, but the number of people killed in the Holocaust was actually between 13 and 16 million (estimates vary a bit for various reasons). Six million of that total were Jews, but Jews weren't the only people targeted in the Holocaust, or even the majority of the people killed. Most people don't know that for some reason. Probably because they hate Jews. *cough*

[idonotlikepeas]

I refused to sign a paper the other day that would put a question on our local ballot demanding that the U.S. break off all relations with Israel. I guess that means I hate Ay-rabs. ;)

[rachelkachel]

Pretty sure that's what she was talking about when she said "more than 6,000,000 people".

[zathras26.livejournal.com]

Ah, right, after re-reading that, I see that now. *chuckle* My reading comprehension is basically shot these days, so I'm not surprised I missed the point.

[aberrantangels]

Anyone who didn't cheer when Rachel Corrie was crushed to death under an Israeli bulldozer

You mean Saint Pancake, "defender of pimps, pusher[s] and gun runners"?

(Seriously, as Damon Flood asked about Sadie the Sitter, what keeps the little green snotballers alive? What stops all that venom and bile dissolving their guts before they can spew it out into cyberspace?)

[conuly]

Link to it if you like :)

[conuly]

Most estimates I've seen are a bit lower, from 10-12 million.

[conuly]

ALL relations? Geez, even I don't go that far, and I'm tentatively anti-Zionist (without being anti-Semitic, mind)

[conuly]

Train's delayed? Jewish conspiracy.
Sanitation on strike? Jewish conspiracy.
Missed a cab? Jewish conspiracy.
Bagel's stale? Jewish conspiracy.

It'd be a positive orgasm of hatred.

[conuly]

Twitchy little noses and all!

[conuly]

Vampires? But humans aren't kosher, are they?

[conuly]

They're living perytons, and if you don't get the reference than fie, fie I say!

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

yeah, i've seen about 12,000,000.

and if i die, you might get stuck with seth...lol. :)