Why I've become an anti-Semite in my old age.

[conuly]

Anti-Semite, for the purposes of this discussion, means anti-Jew, not anti-Semitic-people.

1. I recognize that more Palestinians have died during the conflict over there than Israelis. This means that I support them, and hate Jews.

2. I recognize that more than 6,000,000 people died in the Holocaust. This means that I hate Jews, and think they're all liars.

3. If somebody tries to tell me that every Muslim person in NYC knew about 9/11 before 9/11, I rather sardonically reply that every Jewish person knows the Holocaust didn't happen. This isn't because I love sarcasm, it's because I hate Jews.

4. I have repeatedly chosen to go to schools with large Jewish populations. This is because I hate Jews. Or something.

5. I dislike my cousin Francis because she is Jewish, not because she's annoying. This means that I hate all Jews everywhere, even the tiny little babies.

6. I think the whole situation in Israel is more complicated than Israel GOOD! Arab BAD! This is because I hate Jews.

7. I think that certain Jewish people (Dr. Laura, anyone?) and certain mainstream Christians are just as capable of being hateful as certain Muslims. Yes, this is because I hate Jews.

8. When I selectively read the Koran, I'm looking for those verses that don't tell me to kill non-believers. When I selectively read Torah/the Bible, I'm looking for those verses that do tell me to kill non-believers. This is because I hate Jews.

In summation: I hate people. Lots of people. People I haven't even met. People I'm friends with! I hate you all, and want you dead. Yupyup!

Comments

[idonotlikepeas]

I refused to sign a paper the other day that would put a question on our local ballot demanding that the U.S. break off all relations with Israel. I guess that means I hate Ay-rabs. ;)

[conuly]

ALL relations? Geez, even I don't go that far, and I'm tentatively anti-Zionist (without being anti-Semitic, mind)