On Ron and Hermione's oh-so-abusive relationship...

[conuly]

You've seen this? Good.

What gets me is not all the "proof" that Ron is or could become abusive, but the follow-up that because he's headed in that direction he "will hit Hermione". He will? Why?

Has Ron ever been shown to be particularly violent? I know he's jinxed people - but so does everybody else in that god-forsaken school, and they think this is all in good fun. So, again I say - violent? Won-won? Hermione's more violent than he is!

His lack of violence would not, of course, make him not abusive. I understand that. Indeed, I've often considered that the Weasley household is full of borderline emotional abuse (something I *would* consider a warning sign for what Ron may do in the future - but again, have we ever seen any violence among the family members?) I get that there's other forms of abuse besides hitting people.

But do the authors of this article get that? Because they take this evidence that's kinda sorta convincing (not really, mihi, but I can see how they can come to that conclusion) and then go straight into the twilight zone with this hitting thing. I just don't see it, really.

And I'm posting this just to remind all of youse that yes, there's other forms of abuse out there. Really.

_{Link from ciara_belle}

Comments

[ladytalon.livejournal.com]

The author is really grasping at straws there. I am underwhelmed. A lot of their interactions, especially the ones quoted, are things that good friends do, sometimes, especially when they spend so many hours of every day together. I know that I had some friendships like that in high school, with other girls and sometimes guys. One of my guy friends nicknamed me "crack whore"... well, it was an immature high school thing, or maybe he was being abusive toward me!

I especially like the quote about the Slug Club and how he had a rapid mood shift oh my god no. Or it could be that he felt embarrassed for having jumped to conclusions, or behaved badly....

Also, according to the Dear Abby thing, being into BDSM is a sign of abuse. That irks me, but in a smaller fashion because I'm generally used to it, and I would hazard a guess that they don't really mean it that way. But I wonder if it made anyone whose partner is more into BDSM than they are think that said partner might actually be abusive.

[deceptica]

What got me was that apparently holding someone and stroking their hair when they're crying means that you're pushing for sex. o_O

[atalantapendrag.livejournal.com]

From the way her personality has been developing, I think Hermione's as likely to be emotionally abusive as Ron, and Ron doesn't seem like the physically abusive type. More passive-aggressive.

Fred and/or George, though... they're far more likely to smack around their S.O., and I don't think they're capable of not being emotionally abusive.

[conuly]

As likely? More, I'd say. C'mon, attacking the guy with birds? For what, having a girlfriend? Hermione! YOU TWO WERE NEVER DATING! For crying out loud, Ron acted more maturely over Vicky, and that was two years ago from the teaspoon!

[atalantapendrag.livejournal.com]

I think they'd be different sorts of emotionally abusive, and make each other miserable. She's growing more and more ruthless and manipulative, and he's passive-agressive and uncommunicative. I think they'd make each other miserable.

[conuly]

Probably. Fun!

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Curses! You said what I had wanted to say, and now I have nothing to add to the conversation! Alas!

...I shall attack you with transfigured canaries now!

[atalantapendrag.livejournal.com]

Ah. I haven't had lunch yet, excellent.

[leora.livejournal.com]

The example with the love potion doesn't count, the implication is that anyone would act that way or similarly badly if similarly drugged. Many of ythe other examples seem to reflect a cultural difference in the magical world. Minor injuries are far more common in the magical world. Small amounts of pain are happening all the time. People find it fine to jinx people, and education includes all sorts of physical risks. When Harry first plays Quidditch he's warned about it... they play a game with a specific role to try to bat heavy balls at opponents. So, laughing at a black eye or not being all that comforting about minor pain seems pretty common.

Ron does act badly, but I do think it's because he's immature. And I'd give him a chance to grow up. There are risks, yes, and warning signs. But I wouldn't be surprised if he managed to outgrow it.

[ancarett]

That essay had me spitting mad -- I agree with you that author makes enormous leaps of logic. The one who's been most physically aggressive amongst the trio? That'd be Hermione Granger, I believe (The much-admired punch of Draco; the canaries; etc.) -- but I hardly think that means she's destined to be an abuser.

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

My mother only hit me once, and yet I consider myself a survivor of childhood abuse. My scars might not be physical, but I'm very aware there abuses other than being hit. Still, I don't see where Ron would abuse Hermoine, he's a bit spoiled and bratty, he's also a teenage boy.
Harry is the one who holds it all in and one day is going to take out a MacDonald's or fly into a tower. What exactly will he do when the focus of his anger is gone and he's left to deal with being abused his whole childhood and left with all his emotions?

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

The thing that annoys me about people who disagree with Ron/Hermione is that "Ron isn't good enough for her."

What? Hermione is an insecure and emotional little git-- brilliant or not, she's something of an idiot and has been since book one. I, frankly, love her for it. People think that the last book ruined her because she got overly emotional.

She does it ALL THE TIME! Attacking Ron with canaries after he's been smarmy is not at all out of character. And if anything in that relationship, Hermione would totally dominate-- I feel like they'd grow up to be like Molly and Arthur, somewhat. Ron, abusive?

Pick another straw to grab. Eeesh.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think Ron's family is abusive. They're poor and have more children than money. They have the "big Catholic family" love thing going on-- it means some of them get overlooked from time to time, especially Ron, but being poor is not the same as being abusive.

However, I do like the close reading of the texts. The editors have to really dive in to get all that out of the six books available. A New Critic would be proud.

[ladytalon.livejournal.com]

The author is really grasping at straws there. I am underwhelmed. A lot of their interactions, especially the ones quoted, are things that good friends do, sometimes, especially when they spend so many hours of every day together. I know that I had some friendships like that in high school, with other girls and sometimes guys. One of my guy friends nicknamed me "crack whore"... well, it was an immature high school thing, or maybe he was being abusive toward me!

I especially like the quote about the Slug Club and how he had a rapid mood shift oh my god no. Or it could be that he felt embarrassed for having jumped to conclusions, or behaved badly....

Also, according to the Dear Abby thing, being into BDSM is a sign of abuse. That irks me, but in a smaller fashion because I'm generally used to it, and I would hazard a guess that they don't really mean it that way. But I wonder if it made anyone whose partner is more into BDSM than they are think that said partner might actually be abusive.

[deceptica]

What got me was that apparently holding someone and stroking their hair when they're crying means that you're pushing for sex. o_O

[atalantapendrag.livejournal.com]

From the way her personality has been developing, I think Hermione's as likely to be emotionally abusive as Ron, and Ron doesn't seem like the physically abusive type. More passive-aggressive.

Fred and/or George, though... they're far more likely to smack around their S.O., and I don't think they're capable of not being emotionally abusive.

[conuly]

As likely? More, I'd say. C'mon, attacking the guy with birds? For what, having a girlfriend? Hermione! YOU TWO WERE NEVER DATING! For crying out loud, Ron acted more maturely over Vicky, and that was two years ago from the teaspoon!

[atalantapendrag.livejournal.com]

I think they'd be different sorts of emotionally abusive, and make each other miserable. She's growing more and more ruthless and manipulative, and he's passive-agressive and uncommunicative. I think they'd make each other miserable.

[conuly]

Probably. Fun!

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Curses! You said what I had wanted to say, and now I have nothing to add to the conversation! Alas!

...I shall attack you with transfigured canaries now!

[atalantapendrag.livejournal.com]

Ah. I haven't had lunch yet, excellent.

[leora.livejournal.com]

The example with the love potion doesn't count, the implication is that anyone would act that way or similarly badly if similarly drugged. Many of ythe other examples seem to reflect a cultural difference in the magical world. Minor injuries are far more common in the magical world. Small amounts of pain are happening all the time. People find it fine to jinx people, and education includes all sorts of physical risks. When Harry first plays Quidditch he's warned about it... they play a game with a specific role to try to bat heavy balls at opponents. So, laughing at a black eye or not being all that comforting about minor pain seems pretty common.

Ron does act badly, but I do think it's because he's immature. And I'd give him a chance to grow up. There are risks, yes, and warning signs. But I wouldn't be surprised if he managed to outgrow it.

[ancarett]

That essay had me spitting mad -- I agree with you that author makes enormous leaps of logic. The one who's been most physically aggressive amongst the trio? That'd be Hermione Granger, I believe (The much-admired punch of Draco; the canaries; etc.) -- but I hardly think that means she's destined to be an abuser.

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

My mother only hit me once, and yet I consider myself a survivor of childhood abuse. My scars might not be physical, but I'm very aware there abuses other than being hit. Still, I don't see where Ron would abuse Hermoine, he's a bit spoiled and bratty, he's also a teenage boy.
Harry is the one who holds it all in and one day is going to take out a MacDonald's or fly into a tower. What exactly will he do when the focus of his anger is gone and he's left to deal with being abused his whole childhood and left with all his emotions?

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

The thing that annoys me about people who disagree with Ron/Hermione is that "Ron isn't good enough for her."

What? Hermione is an insecure and emotional little git-- brilliant or not, she's something of an idiot and has been since book one. I, frankly, love her for it. People think that the last book ruined her because she got overly emotional.

She does it ALL THE TIME! Attacking Ron with canaries after he's been smarmy is not at all out of character. And if anything in that relationship, Hermione would totally dominate-- I feel like they'd grow up to be like Molly and Arthur, somewhat. Ron, abusive?

Pick another straw to grab. Eeesh.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think Ron's family is abusive. They're poor and have more children than money. They have the "big Catholic family" love thing going on-- it means some of them get overlooked from time to time, especially Ron, but being poor is not the same as being abusive.

However, I do like the close reading of the texts. The editors have to really dive in to get all that out of the six books available. A New Critic would be proud.