Some musings on the nature of evil things....

[conuly]

Evil things are very obsessive. If you scatter sand or grain across the path of some evil beings, they will be forced to stop and count it, allowing you ample time to get away. This has been used against both witches and vampires. Apparently, it even is possible to thwart vampires by stealing their socks. I thought that was a fictional joke.

If you are worried about attracting evil to you, you can trick it into thinking you are elsewhere by, for example, replying to your name with ritual phrases such as "are you speaking to me?" Or, to protect children, you can call roll by announcing that each child present is not, in fact, there. If you mention a stroke of good luck, you can convince evil that you didn't actually announce the good luck (and it therefore doesn't exist) simply by banging on a piece of wood. In extreme circumstances, simply announcing that you are about to bang on a piece of wood will convince the evil spirits to give up and go away.

Evil spirits do not wear goggles. Therefore, if you spill salt, you can deter the spirits behind you by throwing some into their eyes. If you sneeze, you can prevent evil spirits from entering your body by reciting a simple, short charm against them. They'll be wiping their snot-ridden eyes as you chant "blesyu".

In summation: Evil things are stupid. Very, very stupid. You shouldn't fear them, because they're stupid.

This post would've been better if I hadn't gotten distracted by the revelation that there actually are stories about vampire watermelons.

Comments

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

I've long believed watermelons were evil.

[conuly]

They're yummy.

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

Many evil things are yummy. :)

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Don't you just hate it when you can only find one of a pair of socks, and you have to spend all night searching your house for the other?

[conuly]

I just buy new socks.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

*grins* That can be hard to do when one's only ever awake between dusk and dawn. Of course nowadays, the vampires can shop online like everybody else, so the Sock Trick probably doesn't work anymore, except in poor and isolated places like the Carpathians where even dial-up may not be available.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Knocking on wood is a myth. Actually, it's a mutated idea done by people who forgot why they were doing on it. The idea was you knocked on trees, wood generally being in tree form. This was because spirits lived in the trees. Knocking on dead wood, such as a table is pretty silly.

Although I have heard the argument made that spirits have probably modernized their living space and it might make sense these days to knock on plastic.

[conuly]

You could also touch iron, with a similar effect.

[packbat.livejournal.com]

Do you read online comics? There was one (Digger (http://www.graphicsmash.com/series.php?name=digger&view=current) – unfortunately costs money to read) which made reference to a vegetable-vampire legend at one point.

I didn't remember the version with watermelons, though.

[marveen.livejournal.com]

Discworld reference. "...vampire watermelons. Possibly they suck back."

[packbat.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. I think the vampire plants in Digger were based on an actual legend from somewhere, though.

Admittedly, I've never actually checked...

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

I used to have nightmares as a small child about the vampires who lived in my closet and ate my dirty socks.

Oh, and the vampire who would come to my house and borrow rice.

I don't know why, but those two dreams used to scare the everloving shit out of me.

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

I've long believed watermelons were evil.

[conuly]

They're yummy.

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

Many evil things are yummy. :)

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Don't you just hate it when you can only find one of a pair of socks, and you have to spend all night searching your house for the other?

[conuly]

I just buy new socks.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

*grins* That can be hard to do when one's only ever awake between dusk and dawn. Of course nowadays, the vampires can shop online like everybody else, so the Sock Trick probably doesn't work anymore, except in poor and isolated places like the Carpathians where even dial-up may not be available.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Knocking on wood is a myth. Actually, it's a mutated idea done by people who forgot why they were doing on it. The idea was you knocked on trees, wood generally being in tree form. This was because spirits lived in the trees. Knocking on dead wood, such as a table is pretty silly.

Although I have heard the argument made that spirits have probably modernized their living space and it might make sense these days to knock on plastic.

[conuly]

You could also touch iron, with a similar effect.

[packbat.livejournal.com]

Do you read online comics? There was one (Digger (http://www.graphicsmash.com/series.php?name=digger&view=current) – unfortunately costs money to read) which made reference to a vegetable-vampire legend at one point.

I didn't remember the version with watermelons, though.

[marveen.livejournal.com]

Discworld reference. "...vampire watermelons. Possibly they suck back."

[packbat.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. I think the vampire plants in Digger were based on an actual legend from somewhere, though.

Admittedly, I've never actually checked...

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

I used to have nightmares as a small child about the vampires who lived in my closet and ate my dirty socks.

Oh, and the vampire who would come to my house and borrow rice.

I don't know why, but those two dreams used to scare the everloving shit out of me.