Oh boy.

[conuly]

I was down in the basement, getting food from the freezer when I hear a mysterious EEEE noise.

Me: ????
Mysterious noise: EEEEE! EEEE!
Me: That sounds like a kitten.
Different Mysterious Noise: Row.
Me: But we can't have kittens, there's no way into the basement. They must be outside.

*goes outside*

Me: HOLY BACK DOOR, BATMAN! The storm door is open! Oh, wait, the inner door is still locked. Well, that's good. I'd hate to be in the house with a sociopathic killer. But this means that the kittens (and hopefully mama cat) must be inside....

*goes inside*

*pauses*

Me: Hey, Mr. Winston? You don't have a kitten do you?
Mr. Winston: Um... no...?
Me: Okay. Hey, can I borrow a flashlight? Thanks.

*down in the basement*

Mysterious Noise: EEE! EEE! EEE!
Me: Well, there are only so many places a mama cat can hide. And if I eliminate the usual suspects first, my life will be substantially easier. Bet it's in that old christmas tree.
Old Christmas Tree: Yes, I will cut your arms. And yes, I am home to a kindle of kittens. And Thunder, that mean cat who keeps abandoning kittens and leaving them to die.
Thunder: Mrow, mrow, I just gave birth, so I won't abandon anything for a week at least. Promise.
Me: Wow, I can finally get this cat fixed and stop her reign of terror! If I can get her to the vet....

That's the end of the entertainment. Mr. Winston is sacrificing a large plastic bin with holes to the cause (since cardboard is *not* going to hold this cat), and my pantry is sacrificing a couple of cans of tuna. She'll be gone by Thursday. I didn't pick the kittens up or anything (homicidal christmas tree, remember?), but judging by size (and the fact that none of them were dead yet, as we've come to expect from Thunder's rather questionable maternal instinct) I placed them at maybe a week old.

Comments

[sporks5000.livejournal.com]

This is almost exactly what I was going to say.

oh well.