And this is why I love Miss Manners....

[conuly]

Dear Miss Manners:

On only a few days' notice, I was married in February to a wonderful woman. Having not had time to properly invite friends and family to our nuptials, and since we already had been living together for 14 years, we didn't expect to receive gifts.

Nevertheless, we did receive many wonderful cards and calls of congratulations, and a few relatives did send us thoughtful gifts. Of course we promptly wrote them thank-you notes and telephoned them to show our sincere appreciation. Unfortunately, a decision by the California Supreme Court voided our marriage, along with the marriages of approximately 4,000 other same-gender couples.

What is the proper etiquette with respect to keeping or returning these special gifts now that the court has forced us to untie the knot?

Wedding presents may be properly accepted during the couple's engagement, and need only be returned if they no longer wish to be married. You have, after all, met Miss Manners's basic and non-negotiable requirement: You wrote thank-you letters.

It's an older letter, of course, but I still love it. *hugs and cookies her*

Comments

[ascian.livejournal.com]

Hi! This comment is kind of on topic, because it has to do with manners and etiquette and.. stuff.

Thank you *so* much for your lovely compliments (and the cookie!) in response to my comment on griffen's journal. I was going to thank you the instant I saw the comment (days ago, now? I think?) but.. um.

It seemed like it would be rude (the adjectives arrogant and boastful come to mind) to accept praise on a comment before receiving a response from the person to whom I was originally responding.

I know, it's *not* rude. Griff has told me as much. In fact, I know it may be rude for me not to have thanked you yet in the appropriate forum. The point is, I've got some very odd rules of etiquette that I hold only myself to, and this is one of those times that they come into play. So. I was going to email you a thank-you, but I couldn't find your address on your page. I decided to thank you here, so as not to annoy you with a complete lack of response.

So.. all that pointless fuss aside.. thanks a heck of a lot. I'm still new in these circles, and the praise lets me know I'm not wasting my or (worse) anybody else's time. I've been reading your journal, and you seem really nifty too. I want to see Lilo and Stitch again now! :)

Thanks again! Stay froody. :)

[conuly]

I just posted it today, so that's no worry. And you're welcome. (And whether or not it's rude, pshaw. People'd forgive you, trust me.)

[ascian.livejournal.com]

Hi! This comment is kind of on topic, because it has to do with manners and etiquette and.. stuff.

Thank you *so* much for your lovely compliments (and the cookie!) in response to my comment on griffen's journal. I was going to thank you the instant I saw the comment (days ago, now? I think?) but.. um.

It seemed like it would be rude (the adjectives arrogant and boastful come to mind) to accept praise on a comment before receiving a response from the person to whom I was originally responding.

I know, it's *not* rude. Griff has told me as much. In fact, I know it may be rude for me not to have thanked you yet in the appropriate forum. The point is, I've got some very odd rules of etiquette that I hold only myself to, and this is one of those times that they come into play. So. I was going to email you a thank-you, but I couldn't find your address on your page. I decided to thank you here, so as not to annoy you with a complete lack of response.

So.. all that pointless fuss aside.. thanks a heck of a lot. I'm still new in these circles, and the praise lets me know I'm not wasting my or (worse) anybody else's time. I've been reading your journal, and you seem really nifty too. I want to see Lilo and Stitch again now! :)

Thanks again! Stay froody. :)

[conuly]

I just posted it today, so that's no worry. And you're welcome. (And whether or not it's rude, pshaw. People'd forgive you, trust me.)