Have A Nice Day by Spike Milligan

[conuly]

'Help, help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'
'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.
'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'
'Yes, I know, I heard you before.
Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You, see I've got a disease.
I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.'
'How long, ' said the man who was drowning. 'Will it take for the Doc to arrive? '
'Not very long, ' said the man with the disease. 'Till then try staying alive.'
'Very well, ' said the man who was drowning. 'I'll try and stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he wrote.'
'Help, help, ' said the man with the disease, 'I suddenly feel quite ill.'
'Keep calm.' said the man who was drowning, ' Breathe deeply and lie quite still.'
'Oh dear, ' said the man with the awful disease. 'I think I'm going to die.'
'Farewell, ' said the man who was drowning.
Said the man with the disease, 'goodbye.'
So the man who was drowning, drownded
And the man with the disease past away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in my flat,
It's been a very nice day.

*****

Link

Comments

[alexseanchai]

did not actually choke myself on a badly timed combination of Doritos and laughing, but it was closer than I'd like to admit

[minoanmiss]

Word.

[smokingboot]

Excellent.

[dine]

sheer perfection!

[med_cat]

Quite an interesting piece, and new to me. Thank you. I think, with your prior kind permission, I shall share it to the greatpoetry comm.

A modern take, of a sort, on the "Tout va tres bien"?

[conuly]

Somebody else I don't know linked it somewhere. It somehow seemed fitting.

[med_cat]

Indeed. Also a bit like "not waving but drowning"...

(can provide links to the two pieces I mentioned, if you haven't come across them before)

[howsmyenglish]

Thanks for this. I'm being torn apart between copying this just for myself and sending it to everyone I know. Something that does not happen often.