A word to the wise:

[conuly]

If you do not have the time to handle an adult cat or dog with behavioral issues then you do not have time for a kitten or puppy. How do you think behavioral issues even start?

Comments

[siliconshaman]

Same goes for humans.

[mama_kestrel]

Some people should not spawn.

I once told a judge that neither parent should have custody of a goldfish. Then I withdrew. A week later I had written summaries of all my cases, turned my entire practice over to another attorney, and walked away. I heard later that the kids ended up with their oldest sister. That worked; they were 5 and 8, and she was 26 and married.

[siliconshaman]

As I've said before.. there should be a parenting licence which you have to pass a set of tests for and mandatory reversible birth control administered before puberty.

Ditto an 'adulting' licence and puberty blockers.

But, you can imagine the outrage that would produce!

[conuly]

Well, yes, it'd end up like literacy tests to vote: obviously rigged against certain people for no real, justifiable reason. Do you really want the fundiegelicals and fascists deciding who should be allowed to procreate?

[siliconshaman]

sigh

Oh I agree, it almost certainly would be misused and abused, and yet if it could be applied fairly and without prejudice it could prevent so much pain and disaster.

Oh well, yet another good idea confounded by the base nature of humanity.

[mama_kestrel]

I disagree on the puberty blockers, because that's necessary to brain development. I'm also not sure about "adulting", simply because what that constitutes is so subjective and subject to cultural standards. But parenting? OMG yes.

[siliconshaman]

I dunno, courses in necessary skills required (or recommended) to function as an adult..? If you don;t get a passing grade, you don't get your 'adult licence' maybe?

Although yes, perhaps the puberty blockers are bad idea... most people don't really become adults until after puberty.

[conuly]

A point which may be moot if they are suicidal before adulthood.

Universal puberty blockers may be a bad idea, but let's not stray too far into tossing the baby out with the bathwater here.

[siliconshaman]

Agreed.. the puberty blockers might be a bad idea, for everyone.

I think perhaps a case-by-case basis might be the rational approach. But certainly classes in what it takes to be a functional, competent adult are a good idea, as well as parenthood classes and mandatory reversible contraception until said classes are passed.

[conuly]

Have you ever examined the paving on the road to hell? Like, really looked at it?

[siliconshaman]

I know, I know... I mean, it could work.. if people were calm, rational and logical beings...

Real world, not a hope in hell. You could set up such a system, and it would immediately get used in some terrible way towards horrible ends.

I still think parenting and adulting classes might be a good idea, but you'd never get people to agree to attended and you couldn't get away with making it mandatory as people are like cats.

[conuly]

I know, I know... I mean, it could work.. if people were calm, rational and logical beings...

Despite what Star Trek might have you believe, "rational" and "logical" are not synonymous with "ethical" or "better" or "correct". Two perfectly rational and logical people, with equal access to information, might still make very different parenting decisions simply because their values and their goals for their children are different. "Good parenting" is very culture-specific. There is no one best way.

Let's look at the example of children staying up late for special occasions. In one culture, this might be something that rarely or never happens - routine is prized, children go to bed at the children's bedtime and wake up at the children's wake-up time, the important thing is that they learn self-discipline and consistency. In another, it might happen quite often - children are part of the community, so they stay up for community events like parties and this may be considered an important part of their socialization.

In one culture, if a child has a conflict between homework and helping babysit, babysitting comes first because family is important and that's an important value, the schools shouldn't be assigning so much homework that it interferes in family life in the first place. In another, the homework comes first because academics are the top priority and Mom and Dad should pay somebody to take care of the younger child (and not rely on Grandma or Uncle Jim or their neighbors either - this is skilled work, you pay market value).

These are trivial examples, but there are more serious ones.

[lizziey]

I wish more people understood that.

Alternately, you got a dog who you then never socialized, and waited til he was 3 and then decided you wanted to start bringing him to daycare to play with other dogs, and you don’t understand how he didn’t pass his trial? Ma’am, your dog has never met another dog. He tried to EAT the calmest more docile First Meet dog we have - and she’s mine!!! I tried him with some more high energy dogs and he panicked and cried until the Akita got concerned and came over to make sure he was ok - which made him lose his MIND because frikken akita. 🤦🏻‍♀️ we’re not a training facility, pls bring your dog to the pros to become socialized and then we will try again. No, I won’t “just socialize him here”, these dogs aren’t being put at risk because you failed your dog.