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Nov. 4th, 2021 01:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyJust read a fic where there are no fewer than twelve different dialog tags in a row, not one of which is "said", "asked" or "replied/answered". (Or "null", which I guess would be not using a dialog tag at all.)
Most notably, we have X "chiming in" immediately after "affirming". You cannot "chime in" when you were the last person to speak! You'd just be chiming in to yourself. (And there's only two of them in this scene anyway, and I guess you can chime in in a two person convo, but would you really need to?)
Edit: Nope, most notably is "Hey" Y greeted. The word "hey" is a greeting. Unless you're using "greeted" here in the odd Scots sense of "wept" there is no need to reiterate that Y is greeting somebody else. And even if you feel there is such a need, it's a transitive verb. You can't just "greet". You have to greet somebody or something.
And it all started out so promisingly too, but I am losing it at this dialog! And there's just so much of it! With adverbs, even!
There is such a thing as too many adverbs.
Most notably, we have X "chiming in" immediately after "affirming". You cannot "chime in" when you were the last person to speak! You'd just be chiming in to yourself. (And there's only two of them in this scene anyway, and I guess you can chime in in a two person convo, but would you really need to?)
Edit: Nope, most notably is "Hey" Y greeted. The word "hey" is a greeting. Unless you're using "greeted" here in the odd Scots sense of "wept" there is no need to reiterate that Y is greeting somebody else. And even if you feel there is such a need, it's a transitive verb. You can't just "greet". You have to greet somebody or something.
And it all started out so promisingly too, but I am losing it at this dialog! And there's just so much of it! With adverbs, even!
There is such a thing as too many adverbs.
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Date: 2021-11-06 05:46 am (UTC)