Something takaal said got me thinking...

[conuly]

Actually, that's not true. I was already thinking about this. But that post is still the one prompting this post, so.

Most of my friends are people I know entirely, or primarily (hi xiggs. Did you know you left your purple towel here?) online. And the close ones, I love dearly (hi guys!). But I wouldn't want to meet many of them/you in real life (sorry). Why, though? It's not because I'm very different in real life than I am online - I'm not a 50-year old guy or anything. And it's not because I'm keeping secrets - no, youse guys certainly don't know everything about me, but you probably wouldn't know that stuff in real life either. It's a puzzle.

Or it was a puzzle until I reflected on something my sister said a few times (hi jenn!). She said I seem more like me online than I do with most people. And she's right. The real me is the person online, most people in real life (excepting my family) only see an image. But this is opposite of all the fears people have. They get scared that the person online is not the real person, that the real person is a stupid abuser who doesn't even tip well (hi eric!). Confronted with the person in real life, wouldn't they be likely to believe that that's the real person, even though the real person is hiding scared?

Um, yeah. So that's it. I really just wouldn't want my friends to think the real me is the person most people see. Because that's not really real. But most people don't know that, because most people are neither my family nor one of my close family friends (hi gale, mommy, lizziey, jennagain...) So they get fakeme, filteredme, personwhodoesn'ttalkmuchme (and you can see why this isn't realme!) and think that's the real person.

And they're wrong.

On a side note, have I ever said how much I love my keyboard? I love typing. It's easy. And it makes a nice clickyclicky noise. And nobody complains that I'm typing too quickly, or too softly, or can I please repeat myself? And nobody says I should use different words, not when they're seeing the words, only when they hear them. For some reason, the same set of words is okay when written but not okay when spoken. Go figure.

Comments

[velvetchamber.livejournal.com]

I second that, at least to a degree, the real me is here online, in my journal, but the me that is out there, is another me, it is no less me, just the other me.

When one uses nice phrases and beautiful language in print it comes off to people as natural, but if one tries it orally (which I do a lot of the time) people tend to think one is elevating oneself above them, which is not at all what I am doing, it is must my way of communicating.

[conuly]

*sighs* How sad that so many people in the real world are so... so... paranoid.

[ex-chaos-by-699.livejournal.com]

I can relate, actually. I was thinking about this the other day and worrying about how much cooler my online persona seems to be than my real life self. Then I was thinking that my online persona isn't in any way "fake", it's just that online I relax and let down my guard in ways that I can't do in "real" life.

Like I'd never just walk up to a person in real life and start talking to them because they look interesting. But I can leave comments in random interesting journals online. Go figure.

Oh yeah and I'm not a creepy 50 year old man either. :P

[conuly]

So you say... ;)

[takaal.livejournal.com]

Hm. I think I may be more honest about certain things out here than I am in person, since I don't feel reactions as people have them, I just read them later - but given that I'm using my pen-name, I'm clearly not "honest" about everything. (I am a girl; the haircolor varies and will eventually match the icon again; don't smoke anymore, etc.)

I wonder, sometimes, if *anyone* knows the real me - since the "me" out here is as much a part of me as the me typing this... but they're distinct personas.

I'm certain this will keep me awake at night, eventually. Until then, I'll just be me, whichever me that might be at the moment.

I'm right with you there.

[robotliliput.livejournal.com]

I'm really similar in the way I'm more me online than I am in person. And I understand the not wanting to meet thing... the ideas and relationships we have of and with other people work the way they do online, and we're reluctant to disturb that balance by introducing other ways of interracting into the equation. Does that make sense?

The other nice thing about the internet is that we control our interractions online. We can choose to log onto instant messenger, or not. We can choose to log onto our super special secret screen name if we only want to talk to our chosen friends. We can read and respond to email, LJ entries, or not. It all depends on our moods. Real Life interractions don't allow us that kind of control, and sometimes walking away from discussions or avoiding the presence of other people is considered "anti-social". Whatever. Sometimes it is necessary.

xoxox,

The Antisocial Anita (robotliliput

[robotliliput.livejournal.com]

And I meant to tell you:

I love your icon. It's from "Shadow of the Hegemon" by Orson Scott Card, right? That rocks. I wish I had thought of it.

[conuly]

So do I. It was in book_icons awhile ago.

[fjorab-teke.livejournal.com]

Thankfully, I think I'm pretty consistently "me" online and off. I like meeting internet friends in real life, but of course what you said doesn't bother or offend me.

I think I have some kind of "translation malfunction" in my head between my ears and my processing. I hear it, but the words don't always calculate. Indeed, it's easier for me to read (and even re-read if necessary) than to hear someone talk. Thankfully, too, the American-English is standard, and modern English isn't much different, which makes it easy to understand someone unless they do indeed type in utter jibberish (chtspk, 1337, etc.).

[velvetchamber.livejournal.com]

I second that, at least to a degree, the real me is here online, in my journal, but the me that is out there, is another me, it is no less me, just the other me.

When one uses nice phrases and beautiful language in print it comes off to people as natural, but if one tries it orally (which I do a lot of the time) people tend to think one is elevating oneself above them, which is not at all what I am doing, it is must my way of communicating.

[conuly]

*sighs* How sad that so many people in the real world are so... so... paranoid.

[ex-chaos-by-699.livejournal.com]

I can relate, actually. I was thinking about this the other day and worrying about how much cooler my online persona seems to be than my real life self. Then I was thinking that my online persona isn't in any way "fake", it's just that online I relax and let down my guard in ways that I can't do in "real" life.

Like I'd never just walk up to a person in real life and start talking to them because they look interesting. But I can leave comments in random interesting journals online. Go figure.

Oh yeah and I'm not a creepy 50 year old man either. :P

[conuly]

So you say... ;)

[takaal.livejournal.com]

Hm. I think I may be more honest about certain things out here than I am in person, since I don't feel reactions as people have them, I just read them later - but given that I'm using my pen-name, I'm clearly not "honest" about everything. (I am a girl; the haircolor varies and will eventually match the icon again; don't smoke anymore, etc.)

I wonder, sometimes, if *anyone* knows the real me - since the "me" out here is as much a part of me as the me typing this... but they're distinct personas.

I'm certain this will keep me awake at night, eventually. Until then, I'll just be me, whichever me that might be at the moment.

I'm right with you there.

[robotliliput.livejournal.com]

I'm really similar in the way I'm more me online than I am in person. And I understand the not wanting to meet thing... the ideas and relationships we have of and with other people work the way they do online, and we're reluctant to disturb that balance by introducing other ways of interracting into the equation. Does that make sense?

The other nice thing about the internet is that we control our interractions online. We can choose to log onto instant messenger, or not. We can choose to log onto our super special secret screen name if we only want to talk to our chosen friends. We can read and respond to email, LJ entries, or not. It all depends on our moods. Real Life interractions don't allow us that kind of control, and sometimes walking away from discussions or avoiding the presence of other people is considered "anti-social". Whatever. Sometimes it is necessary.

xoxox,

The Antisocial Anita (robotliliput

[robotliliput.livejournal.com]

And I meant to tell you:

I love your icon. It's from "Shadow of the Hegemon" by Orson Scott Card, right? That rocks. I wish I had thought of it.

[conuly]

So do I. It was in book_icons awhile ago.

[fjorab-teke.livejournal.com]

Thankfully, I think I'm pretty consistently "me" online and off. I like meeting internet friends in real life, but of course what you said doesn't bother or offend me.

I think I have some kind of "translation malfunction" in my head between my ears and my processing. I hear it, but the words don't always calculate. Indeed, it's easier for me to read (and even re-read if necessary) than to hear someone talk. Thankfully, too, the American-English is standard, and modern English isn't much different, which makes it easy to understand someone unless they do indeed type in utter jibberish (chtspk, 1337, etc.).