Okay, I need an extra laptop battery before school starts.

[conuly]

Unfortunately, they cost upwards of $100.
Fortunately, they are much cheaper on Ebay, if one is able to get over the idea of buying a used battery.
Unfortunately, I have no way to buy things on Ebay. Can you pay cash to complete strangers? I somehow doubt this, and am too lazy to check.
Fortunately, some of you do. And you're not complete strangers. Can I beg ask somebody to pleasepleaseplease (once I once again find out what sort of battery, exactly, I need) buy me one on Ebay? I'd pay you, you'd send me the goods, it's a little convoluted and very stupid, but....

Thank you for your time. If this is even stupider than I realize, feel free to point and laugh.