conuly | I don't really like coffee

In this, I stand out from my mother and sister (and, according to my mom, all of Belgium).

When I make my mother coffee (she only drinks about 127 cups a day), I usually put half-and-half in it, both because she likes her coffee light and sweet (and with chicory, which is neither) and because I always want her to have more calories. She's at a healthy weight now, but she's never been exactly a hefty eater. Except yesterday we were out of half-and-half. Made a mental note to buy more, took out the milk, as is my habit I sniffed it first and - yeurgh. Out of milk, too. And I just bought it, too! Usually we have some shelf-stable and evaporated milk in the pantry... no, out. But I did find the non-fat condensed milk we accidentally got last Thanksgiving, so I tried that.

Today I bought more half-and-half, in an utterly unprecedented half-gallon size (!) and decided to try combining the half-and-half with the last of that fat-free condensed milk, to use it up.

One more thing... in order to test that the coffee is hot enough, I typically take a very small sip. "That's sure coffee all right!" I mostly do this to amuse my sister and nieces (well, the announcing part, I mean), but also because I think their suggested replacement of dipping a finger in is gross. Surely a clean spoon is better than my finger, clean or not! Anyway, I learned something today. If you combine chicory coffee with a very large amount of condensed milk and half-and-half, it's almost palatable!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

wpadmirer

LOL. I don't know about Belgium, but I know the Dutch drink hot coffee even at the beach. They're an odd lot those Dutch.

From:

conuly

If the Netherlands is like Belgium in this regard, I don't blame them for having hot drinks at the beach. Cold and windy, isn't it?

From:

wpadmirer

I've seen the Dutch drink hot coffee on the beach in Florida. They think it makes them feel "cooler." I think they're just nuts.

From:

conuly

Hey, my grandmother used to serve us hot soup in the evenings for the same reason!

From:

peoriapeoriawhereart

A hot bath does make it seem cooler (in summer) once you are out.

From:

conuly

One typically doesn't drink it after, though.

From:

greghousesgf

I thought this was crazy but a friend of mine whose grandfather is from southern China (she learned it from him) swore that drinking hot tea on a hot day can cool you off so I tried it and it actually works.

From:

wpadmirer

It may work, but it's my nature to be obstinate. (grin)

From:

fred_mouse

My impression is that anglo-Australians of my grandmothers' generation did the same.

From:

dragonyphoenix

I didn't realize anyone liked coffee. Isn't it just something one drinks to stay awake?

From:

conuly

If you're serious here: No, lots of people like coffee. *shrug*

If you're being facetious: I'd rather stay awake by dousing myself in cold water.

From:

dragonyphoenix

Maybe it's just me then. I don't think it's a great taste, especially the really bitter brews. When I first started drinking coffee, I used to say I needed to take coffee or I was going to take coffee because it was something I was taking to stay awake.

From:

flamingsword

At least you know you're probably not a psychopath?

From:

dragonyphoenix

Not so fast. I adore dark chocolate!

From:

conuly

Seems caffeine pills would do the same thing without the awful taste.

From:

dragonyphoenix

Ooh, or chocolate covered espresso beans!

From:

stardreamer

You're not alone. I can't stand coffee; no matter what you do to it, it still tastes like burned beans! When I need caffeine, I get it from cola drinks.

Tangentially related: having grown up on the kind of tea one gets at the grocery store in America, I never could understand why anyone would put milk in it; lemon and sugar were my additives of choice. Once I moved in with a serious tea snob and discovered the strong Indian black teas, it became much more clear. Sugar-and-lemon won't smooth out the harshness of the flavor, but milk tames it right down (and means I don't need nearly as much sugar). And that in turn let me understand why some people like a lot of cream in their coffee, but I'm still not going to try to drink it because I hate both the base flavor and the smell.

From:

conuly

It's possible you'd like a light roast better than a dark or medium roast. People have suggested that to me - better quality beans, light roast - but my mother (the main coffee drinker at home now) seems to prefer a dark roast with lots of milk and it's not like I don't like coffee and wish I did to fit in with coffee-drinking people, I don't like coffee, am kind of an introvert, and don't want to hang out with people who can't accept little quirks like that. So I haven't tried it.

But gosh, I do love the smell of coffee. If it tasted as good as it smells, that'd be nice. (I feel the same about commercial play-doh, which smells like childhood and tastes like betrayal.)

From:

grammarwoman

If it tasted as good as it smells, that'd be nice.

OMG, that exact sentiment has come out of my mouth so many times. My mom would accuse me of not being a grown-up because I never acquired the coffee addiction.

Then a few years ago some friends got me into Thai iced coffee (which seems to be basically melted coffee ice cream), and now I make myself iced coffee in the morning. (Refrigerated brewed coffee, almond milk, and Truvia sweetener.) It still doesn't live up to the promise of coffee's smell, but it's acceptably tasty.

From:

conuly

My mom would accuse me of not being a grown-up because I never acquired the coffee addiction.

Well, bully for her, I guess.

From:

stardreamer

This is where I really, seriously part company from most people. I LOATHE the smell of coffee. When I was a kid, my father drinking coffee in the morning was enough to completely kill my appetite for breakfast. I just Do Not Get the whole "if it tasted as good as it smells" thing, because to me the smell is equally bad. (Now, having said that, I do have to acknowledge that as an adult, I've gotten enough control over that response that I can sit in a Starbucks sipping my iced chai latte. But it still doesn't smell good, I'm just less sensitive to it than I used to be.)

And WRT the "maybe a lighter roast" thing, see above about BURNED BEANS. Not to mention invoking the whole "well, if you just tried the RIGHT awful-thing, you'd understand" bullshit.

From:

mindstalk

Have you tried cold brew? That's one of the "tastes like smells" candidates.

Another is Brust's klava, but that's a lot of work.

From:

monanotlisa

That was one long story, girl.

(I know, I know. I'm not known to be to the point myself.)

((I like chickory "coffee".))

From:

conuly

I suppose I could've jumped right to the point. Ahem: "I hate coffee, but with enough condensed milk I hate it marginally less".

From:

hamsterwoman

Heh -- my in-laws are Belgian, and one of the most annoying things about visiting them every year is that I have to put up with Belgian coffee. (I mean, I don't -- I can just drink tea instead, which is what I do, even though the tea here is not great -- but everything is dark roast and bitter, whereas I'm the kind of person who likes the lightest possible roast with as much sugar/milk/flavored creamer added to it to mask the taste of the actual coffee as much as possible. Condensed milk and half-and-half would just about do it!)

From:

conuly

Honestly, if I were visiting Belgium for the first time since childhood I'd skip coffee and tea altogether and pick up some soda. If I only had a domestic source for some European sodas, I'd be happy.

From:

lovelyangel

I am exactly like this. I love the smell of coffee, but I can't stand how it tastes. I don't even like coffee-flavored candy. My coffee connoisseur friends say that really good coffee isn't bitter and tastes great straight, but I've never had this "great" coffee of which they speak. (They live far away from me, so they haven't been able to convert me.) I don't think it's the bitter part that I don't like, because coffee-flavored candy isn't bitter.

From:

conuly

It does smell so good, though. *sigh*

From:

lusentoj

Trust me, you're much better off not drinking coffee! It's addicting, often expensive, and does terrible stuff to your body...

Back when I even attempted to drink coffee, I mixed it with hot chocolate.

From:

conuly

Chocolate is all those things too :)

From:

lusentoj

If your "chocolate" is actually 100% cocoa powder I think it's alright, but yeah. Back then I had the typical diet so I ate really badly in general haha.

From:

redbird

Tea and cola are equally addicting; all three can be had cheaply or expensively. I buy a kind of black tea I like, and at this point am paying postage since the only place I know that has that specific kind of Assam is in New York City, where I started buying it—if I just wanted the caffeine, I could wait for a sale on Twinings Irish breakfast teabags, or get whichever of Lipton or Red Rose was cheaper at the supermarket that week. (I buy cola if I need caffeine when I'm not home and can't get what I think of as plausible hot or iced tea. I don't expect to enjoy the cola either, but it's not competing against my recent memories of good tea, since it's a different thing.)

Also, I'm using the caffeine medicinally—caffeine may not be great for the body, but realistically my choice here if I want to be functional isn't caffeine versus nothing, it's caffeine versus prescription stimulants.

From:

conuly

What tea is that, then?

From:

redbird

I like the Golden-tipped Assam from McNulty's, on Christopher Street. The bag is stamped "Golden Assam Khongha Estate."

This is a strong black tea, and works well with milk and sugar, but I am also happy to drink it black. I generally drink it black if I want to take hot tea with me somewhere, both because it stays hot longer without milk, and tastes better when it has cooled off a bit than tea with milk and sugar does. (It also makes cleaning the thermos easier, which is particularly useful if I'm taking the Greyhound to visit

rysmiel, who doesn't have a dishwasher.)

I think the minimum order is 1/4 pound; the way the shipping and handling charges work, I'm buying two pounds at a time, but when I could just hop on the subway I generally got a pound at a time.

From:

conuly

Thanks.

From:

greghousesgf

I love Assam and Irish breakfast!

From:

lusentoj

I only drink green tea and barley tea, I stopped drinking black tea when I was like 14 after I found I got withdrawal symptoms if I didn't drink it... Sadly a lot of the world is still stuck on selling everyone black tea!

After I changed my diet (basically meaning no white flour/sugar/additives, various fermented foods) I had a ton more energy and felt more awake all the time. Fermented pancakes (fermented oat/rye flour) and stuff were better than caffeine had ever been, but I'm the type of person that when I used to have caffeine my heartbeat would get scarily fast and I'd get like paranoid and stuff.