Additional data point

[conuly]

I'm stimming a whole hell of a lot more. I didn't realize it until today, but I used to be able to go to the store without tapping my fingers walking through the parking lot. And I used to be able to go down the stairs in my house without flapping my hands, and make it through two chapters of a book without getting up to walk back and forth, and sit on the bus without twitching my toes.

Shit, this is worse than I thought, isn't it. I really do need to talk to somebody, and that is a thing I really don't want to do. You have no idea how much I do not want to do that thing. But I guess I need to suck it up and, like, be a good example for the kids and all. And see a regular doctor too.

(And to clear this up for the people who didn't quite ask - my body deciding it doesn't want to follow orders is something that, since childhood, happens when there's something I don't want to do. As in, I *could* go wash the dishes/take out the garbage in the rain/bring up the laundry... but my legs aren't moving. Oh darn, I guess I'll just sit here. Used to hit me in the mornings before school. The trouble here (besides the dishes piling up) is that once it hits, I'm stuck for a few seconds to a few minutes. It never hits when something comes up what I'd like to do, though, which is why, since childhood (or at least since learning the word) I've always mostly assumed it's psychosomatic. Turns out my mother has the same issue, as did her mother. I have no idea what to make of this fact.)

Comments

[spikethemuffin]

I feel you. Going to doc is good, especially if you have a great one who actually listens.

Silly question: is this co-morbid with dizziness, migraines, skin changes or fatigue? I find stimming often goes hand-in-hand with thyroid weirdness or vitamin D and B deficiencies for me. Totally not a thing, according to medicine, but it's my canary in the coal mine.

[conuly]

No. Actually, my headaches have *decreased* in both severity and frequency. And other than my sleep schedule being fucked, I'm getting exactly as much sleep as I usually do. If anything, I'm not tired enough - I stay up later every day, sleep for eight hours, wake up refreshed.

[wpadmirer]

Eh, there's all kinds of stuff we don't understand about our brains.

Since it's clearly inherited, you can just learn to cope.

It's like me and my anxiety. It's unreasonable, at times, and I generally cope through disassociation through reading. Thus why I spent my childhood with my head in a book. It was worlds easier than dealing with other children, whom I did not understand and who would tell me how weird I was.

[greghousesgf]

Liking to read does not mean you're weird. This is why I don't like kids.

[wpadmirer]

Oh, it wasn't because I read. I read because they thought I was weird when I wasn't reading. When I was reading they just never saw me. (grin)

[siderea]

I'm stimming a whole hell of a lot more. I didn't realize it until today, but I used to be able to go to the store without tapping my fingers walking through the parking lot. And I used to be able to go down the stairs in my house without flapping my hands, and make it through two chapters of a book without getting up to walk back and forth, and sit on the bus without twitching my toes.

"Psychomotor agitation" is also an official sx of depression.

As in, I *could* go wash the dishes/take out the garbage in the rain/bring up the laundry... but my legs aren't moving.

When this happens, do they (or you, overall) feel heavy, in a "limbs made of lead" sense?

[conuly]

No, it feels like I've completely forgotten how to move. I don't think I've ever been able to describe it well.

[dawnebeth]

Have you been assessed for Tourette's syndrome? It's genetic, too.

[conuly]

Suppose it can't hurt to put it on the list.

[ada_hoffmann]

Are you familiar with this article? If not, you should be. It's lengthy and is awkwardly split into copy/pasted pieces in a forum post because the original is gone, but it might be relevant. http://americanaspergers.forumotion.net/t542-help-i-seem-to-be-getting-more-autistic-article

[conuly]

I've read it before, but thanks.

BTW, you can find the original (ish) here: http://web.archive.org/web/20160311010434/http://archive.autistics.org/library/more-autistic.html

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"I've always mostly assumed it's psychosomatic. Turns out my mother has the same issue, as did her mother. I have no idea what to make of this fact."

What exactly do you mean when you say 'psychosomatic'? A symptom of psychological distress being expressed as a somatic symptom?

*shrugs* What I would make of that fact is that you're all autistic, and have the trouble with transitions (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40489-015-0056-7) so common to those of us on the spectrum. I get 'stuck' too, in a similar way to what you describe, and it was much worse back when there was more chaos in my life:

The centipede was happy, quite,
Until a frog in fun
Said "Pray, which leg comes after which?"
This raised her mind to such a pitch
She lay distracted in the ditch,
Considering how to run.

Now, is that a neurotic avoidance strategy, or is that the system freezing up because demand is exceeding capacity for executive processing? Not that it's necessarily either/or; might be a mix of both.

You could cover your bets by going to a Real Doctor for physical tests and finding a perceptive, autie-friendly counselor with whom to discuss your personal stuff. Meanwhile, here's an old article by Amanda Baggs that might shed a bit of light:

Help! I Seem to be Getting More Autistic! (https://web.archive.org/web/20110315102625/http://www.autistics.org/library/more-autistic.html)