A more detailed general apology
Jul. 12th, 2004 08:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
The more I talk about important issues (that is, issues that are important mihi), the more I worry that I am about to offend somebody. So, a quick statement
I am probably not trying to offend you.
Unless I am very explicit, I am probably not trying to insult you. If you're worried, ask me.
I have very strong feelings on a lot of things. Most of the time, my beliefs are rooted in fact. I think that if you can't justify a belief, you shouldn't have it.
I'm not good at lying. I don't even like to lie. I can, and do, but I'm not good at it and I don't like it.
I'm also not especially good at the tactful thing, or so I'm told. I suspect I'm better at it online, which may or may not show how bad I am at it in real life.
Strong feelings tend to upset people. Someone, somewhere, is going to get offended. That's fine. If something I said offended you, ever, I am sorry.
However, and this is important, I will not apologise for deliberate misunderstandings. I crossposted my breastfeeding rant to a parenting community, since I know many of the people on my friends list won't benefit from it. The first person to reply said that I shouldn't be vilifying formula. When I replied that I hadn't done that, she said "oh, well, I was basing this off of the feelings of most people with your views". Um, okay? Don't do that? She then proceeded to say that "if we're going to outlaw formula, why not outlaw vaccinations too?" I never said a damn thing about outlawing formula or anything! Where is she getting this? And she chewed me out for "judging parents". Um, what? If you think I judged parents, please, tell me. I made sure to say that I don't think formula feeding is a sign of bad parenting. I worked really hard to be informative without being judgmental, and she still assigned emotions to me that I. Did. Not. Feel.
So, let's be clear. If I actually said something to offend you, I'll apologise. If you made something up and attributed it to me, you can apologise to yourself for being a liar.
Djusk' a.
I am probably not trying to offend you.
Unless I am very explicit, I am probably not trying to insult you. If you're worried, ask me.
I have very strong feelings on a lot of things. Most of the time, my beliefs are rooted in fact. I think that if you can't justify a belief, you shouldn't have it.
I'm not good at lying. I don't even like to lie. I can, and do, but I'm not good at it and I don't like it.
I'm also not especially good at the tactful thing, or so I'm told. I suspect I'm better at it online, which may or may not show how bad I am at it in real life.
Strong feelings tend to upset people. Someone, somewhere, is going to get offended. That's fine. If something I said offended you, ever, I am sorry.
However, and this is important, I will not apologise for deliberate misunderstandings. I crossposted my breastfeeding rant to a parenting community, since I know many of the people on my friends list won't benefit from it. The first person to reply said that I shouldn't be vilifying formula. When I replied that I hadn't done that, she said "oh, well, I was basing this off of the feelings of most people with your views". Um, okay? Don't do that? She then proceeded to say that "if we're going to outlaw formula, why not outlaw vaccinations too?" I never said a damn thing about outlawing formula or anything! Where is she getting this? And she chewed me out for "judging parents". Um, what? If you think I judged parents, please, tell me. I made sure to say that I don't think formula feeding is a sign of bad parenting. I worked really hard to be informative without being judgmental, and she still assigned emotions to me that I. Did. Not. Feel.
So, let's be clear. If I actually said something to offend you, I'll apologise. If you made something up and attributed it to me, you can apologise to yourself for being a liar.
Djusk' a.
