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conulyThis is prompted by today's Queen of Wands, and the commentary on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
qow.
Look, I realize that some people really can't breastfeed. What a lot of people apparently don't realize is that the number of people who are physically unable to breastfeed is much smaller than the number of people who think that they are physically unable to breastfeed. Some people who think they aren't producing enough milk really are, or just need to wait a day for production to meet up with demand (since extra nursing by baby causes extra milk production by mama). Other people really aren't nursing properly... but the situation is solvable. I really don't want to hear anybody's stories about how "oh, I thought it was impossible, but I persevered", or any stories about how "oh, it really WAS impossible for me". I wasn't there, I don't know what happened. All I'm saying is that if you think you're unable to breastfeed, or if you haven't tried yet but anticipate problems (and, of course, are having kids), please, talk to a lactation consultant, talk to La Leche, get advice.
And if it turns out that you really can't breastfeed, or that you can, but it's enormously difficult and you have no energy for anything else? Well, in an ideal world, the next choice wouldn't be formula, it'd be milk banks. We don't live in an ideal world. Hell, some of us don't even live in an ideal country. There are only 6 milk banks in the US, compared to, what, 50 for Brazil? That's fucking insane. However, you don't necessarily need to go to a milk bank. You no doubt went to pregnancy classes, and there's the aforementioned LLL around. Contact your friends, contact LLL, see if people will donate breast milk.
Why? I'll tell you. For babies, the answer is simple: Formula fed poo stinks. Seriously. Breastfed poo, quite honestly, doesn't. And the odor it does have, aside from being less stinky, is much milder. It's like the difference between a drop of... um, perfume, and a whole gallon. Plus, formula is damn expensive.
As for older kids, I know, everybody says "well, I was formula fed, and I turned out fine!" I want everybody to STOP SAYING THAT. It's an unfair comparison because you're comparing yourself to other people who were formula fed. Even if it weren't, anecdotal evidence still sucks. We all know of one person who smoked and drank all his life, and lived to be 97. We all know of the guy who buckled his seat belt religiously and died in a car accident. That doesn't mean anything. What matters is the numbers from whole groups of people, so that the lucky and unlucky cancel out.
Think back to school. Some people, no matter how hard they study, are always going to fail. Other people don't do a lick of work all term, and then they go on to ace the finals. Most people, however, have to do a moderate amount of work to get a decent grade. In school, you know what group you're in. When you've got a baby, though, you don't know what group they're in. Are they genetically predisposed to illness? You don't know. If they are, breastfeeding is good, but in the end, they'll be sick anyway. Maybe they're genetically predisposed to good health. In that case, breastfeeding is still good, but not as important for the first group. The kid won't do badly, no matter what. Most children fall in the third group. They will get sick sometimes, and moreso if they're formula fed. It happens. Unfortunately, you don't know. So why not try, at least, to give your kid the best chance? Then, if things don't work out, they don't work out, but at least you can honestly say you tried.
Oh, and before anybody says THAT, no, I don't think that people who formula feed are necessarily bad parents. Most aren't bad parents at all. Some, of course, really are, but they would be anyway, no matter how they fed their babies. There's a lot more to life than infancy and toddlerhood.
qow.Look, I realize that some people really can't breastfeed. What a lot of people apparently don't realize is that the number of people who are physically unable to breastfeed is much smaller than the number of people who think that they are physically unable to breastfeed. Some people who think they aren't producing enough milk really are, or just need to wait a day for production to meet up with demand (since extra nursing by baby causes extra milk production by mama). Other people really aren't nursing properly... but the situation is solvable. I really don't want to hear anybody's stories about how "oh, I thought it was impossible, but I persevered", or any stories about how "oh, it really WAS impossible for me". I wasn't there, I don't know what happened. All I'm saying is that if you think you're unable to breastfeed, or if you haven't tried yet but anticipate problems (and, of course, are having kids), please, talk to a lactation consultant, talk to La Leche, get advice.
And if it turns out that you really can't breastfeed, or that you can, but it's enormously difficult and you have no energy for anything else? Well, in an ideal world, the next choice wouldn't be formula, it'd be milk banks. We don't live in an ideal world. Hell, some of us don't even live in an ideal country. There are only 6 milk banks in the US, compared to, what, 50 for Brazil? That's fucking insane. However, you don't necessarily need to go to a milk bank. You no doubt went to pregnancy classes, and there's the aforementioned LLL around. Contact your friends, contact LLL, see if people will donate breast milk.
Why? I'll tell you. For babies, the answer is simple: Formula fed poo stinks. Seriously. Breastfed poo, quite honestly, doesn't. And the odor it does have, aside from being less stinky, is much milder. It's like the difference between a drop of... um, perfume, and a whole gallon. Plus, formula is damn expensive.
As for older kids, I know, everybody says "well, I was formula fed, and I turned out fine!" I want everybody to STOP SAYING THAT. It's an unfair comparison because you're comparing yourself to other people who were formula fed. Even if it weren't, anecdotal evidence still sucks. We all know of one person who smoked and drank all his life, and lived to be 97. We all know of the guy who buckled his seat belt religiously and died in a car accident. That doesn't mean anything. What matters is the numbers from whole groups of people, so that the lucky and unlucky cancel out.
Think back to school. Some people, no matter how hard they study, are always going to fail. Other people don't do a lick of work all term, and then they go on to ace the finals. Most people, however, have to do a moderate amount of work to get a decent grade. In school, you know what group you're in. When you've got a baby, though, you don't know what group they're in. Are they genetically predisposed to illness? You don't know. If they are, breastfeeding is good, but in the end, they'll be sick anyway. Maybe they're genetically predisposed to good health. In that case, breastfeeding is still good, but not as important for the first group. The kid won't do badly, no matter what. Most children fall in the third group. They will get sick sometimes, and moreso if they're formula fed. It happens. Unfortunately, you don't know. So why not try, at least, to give your kid the best chance? Then, if things don't work out, they don't work out, but at least you can honestly say you tried.
Oh, and before anybody says THAT, no, I don't think that people who formula feed are necessarily bad parents. Most aren't bad parents at all. Some, of course, really are, but they would be anyway, no matter how they fed their babies. There's a lot more to life than infancy and toddlerhood.
