Apparently, people really do claim they'd rather be dead than disabled....

[conuly]

I can't imagine who, but I am assured that this actually happens. So, a word to the wise: If you EVER consider saying that, and aren't prepared to prove it on the spot, don't.

First off, it's fucking insulting. I'm not going to try explaining why, it just is. People do call me rude, or tactless, and they usually have a good reason. If I know that something's rude, there's no excuse for you.

More importantly, it's almost certainly not true. Don't argue, just accept that I'm probably right, because very few people really do prefer to die than live 1. in a wheelchair 2. deaf 3. blind 4. something else. If they did, there'd be far fewer disabled people in this world.

Comments

[fjorab-teke.livejournal.com]

I'd rather NOT be blind or deaf or otherwise deprived of one of the nice abilities I've been blessed with, but I'd still want to live. Can't see horses? I can still feel them and hear them munching grass. Can't hear the music I love? I would still have memories of what I liked to listen to. Can't walk? I can still work on puzzles and draw and read books and work in crossword and puzzle books. Can't do any of them? Then I don't know at this moment but I'd find SOMETHING. *LOL*

The only "disability" I would want to just be "let go" from is if I'm hooked up to machines merely keeping my heart beating for the sake of keeping me "alive". If I'm an unconscious vegetable and won't be anything more than that, ever...then I think it would make sense to just pull the plug. It's not doing anybody any good if I'm not there anyway, and it's pumping money and resources into a person when they could be better helping someone else who DOES have a chance of survival.

[conuly]

I'd rather NOT be blind or deaf or otherwise deprived of one of the nice abilities I've been blessed with, but I'd still want to live.

I do assume most people would rather not be disabled. It's not insulting to say that, though, because saying "I like being able to do all the things I can do" isn't saying "I think your life is worthless, and I can't imagine why you don't do us all the favor of killing yourself".

I'm an unconscious vegetable and won't be anything more than that, ever...then I think it would make sense to just pull the plug. It's not doing anybody any good if I'm not there anyway, and it's pumping money and resources into a person when they could be better helping someone else who DOES have a chance of survival.

I tentatively agree. I'd appreciate a grace period, in case I wake up from whatever coma I'm in, if this ever happens, but I don't want to be hanging around for years with no hope of ever waking up. Not because I think it's a miserable life, I doubt I'd be conscious enough to know, but because I too don't like wasting money on nothing.

*applause*

[marveen.livejournal.com]

Well-said. (My husband had another run-in today with an idiot who thinks that the only disabilities that count are the ones you can see from fifty yards' distance.)

Re: *applause*

[conuly]

Stupidity is a disease. I pity them.

Re: *applause*

[malantha.livejournal.com]

lol, strange criterion. you can't see blindness from 50 yards' distance.

Blindness

[staircase-wit.livejournal.com]

You can see the red-tipped white sticks.

Re: *applause*

[marveen.livejournal.com]

The rude old bat's arguement was that he didn't LOOK disabled, which justified her yelling at him about "taking up a handicapped space."

Daft old biddy.

[stejcruetekie.livejournal.com]

I have to disagree with you, as someone who has a disability. I've attempted suicide in the past, and while I probably wouldn't do it now, I wouldn't turn down death either. In many ways I would welcome it.

What many people don't realize is that it's not the disability that "kills," it's the emotions. You might be able to imagine yourself deaf or blind, but you'll never be able to truely imagine the emotional and social pain it causes.

[conuly]

The suicide rate for autistics is pretty damn high. Am I severely disabled? Hardly. Do I qualify as disabled? Definitely. And I managed to luck out of crippling depression and suicidal tendancies. I think it was my upbringing.

At any rate, I was refering to people with no disability whatsoever, who really can't say definitely what they'd do if they found themselves disabled. You don't qualify because you can't say "if I were disabled, I'd blank". You ARE disabled.

[catsluvdmb.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I had a blind professor who on a weekly basis would spout off about wanting someone to just shoot him in the head...

[conuly]

Because he was blind?

I'm not saying no disabled person is suicidal, or that these suicidal tendancies aren't related to their disability (discounting when the disability is depression, because that really would skew my numbers). What I'm saying is that 1. you don't know what you'd do if you were disabled unless you are and 2. it's damn insulting to tell other people that, in their shoes, you'd kill yourself. Oh, if I were black, I'd kill myself. If I were male, I'd kill myself. If I had no life and all my friends were online... wait, no, that one's true.

[deceptica]

While I can't see myself saying that I'd rather be dead than disabled, I don't see how that necessarily has to be an insult. You'd understand it as, to quote from an earlier reply: "I think your life is worthless, and I can't imagine why you don't do us all the favor of killing yourself". My first thought was that it could actually be a compliment in the sense of: "I don't think I could cope with a situation like that. I admire the people who can." *shrugs*

[conuly]

"I don't think I could cope with a situation like that. I admire the people who can."

Which is still a stupid thing to say. Just trust me, anything which causes the amount of ranting that this does is NOT a good thing to say.

[deceptica]

Why is it stupid?

[conuly]

Because you're making an assumption that the person to whom you are speaking really IS brave, or struggling, or whatever. This may or may not be the case. Furthermore, it's stupid because it's offensive. I don't know how to explain it, I just know it is, and I know this is the case because people get offended by it. Saying things that you know (or know now) will offend people, deliberately, is either stupid or rude.

[waifofthenorth.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I want to bow before your awesome wrath...

I recently went through a lot of chemo, and although that's not a permenant afliction, I glad for the tough times I've gone through, because they've made me a stronger person. However, I wouldn't wish my problems on anyone else, or want anyone else's problems.

*exits stage left.

[conuly]

Makes sense, everything you've said.

[mhari.livejournal.com]

My tactless bitch side says that I hope they do die before they're disabled, so they don't make the rest of us look like whiny assholes by association. :)

While I'm at it, whiny assholes in general are welcome to exit this world.

Mmm, whine-free world... *daydreams*

[conuly]

Well, yeah. I just wish I could see one of them so I could smite 'em personally.

[staircase-wit.livejournal.com]

It's not disability itself... it's the inability to masturbate that frightens me. I guess I'd be OK as long as there was someway to achieve orgasm by myself.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

The disability thing. The recently disabled are more likely to want to kill themselves, though after a year they report the same level of happiness as before they were disabled (general statistics here). On average, most disabilities have people with suicide rates and depression rates the same as the perfectly "enabled."

Oh the things I learn in philosophy.

[conuly]

The recently disabled are more likely to want to kill themselves, though after a year they report the same level of happiness as before they were disabled (general statistics here).

Just like lottery winners.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

Indeed! I really wish I knew the psychological effect's name (and I got a 5 on the AP psych test too), but people always return to the norm.

[fjorab-teke.livejournal.com]

I'd rather NOT be blind or deaf or otherwise deprived of one of the nice abilities I've been blessed with, but I'd still want to live. Can't see horses? I can still feel them and hear them munching grass. Can't hear the music I love? I would still have memories of what I liked to listen to. Can't walk? I can still work on puzzles and draw and read books and work in crossword and puzzle books. Can't do any of them? Then I don't know at this moment but I'd find SOMETHING. *LOL*

The only "disability" I would want to just be "let go" from is if I'm hooked up to machines merely keeping my heart beating for the sake of keeping me "alive". If I'm an unconscious vegetable and won't be anything more than that, ever...then I think it would make sense to just pull the plug. It's not doing anybody any good if I'm not there anyway, and it's pumping money and resources into a person when they could be better helping someone else who DOES have a chance of survival.

[conuly]

I'd rather NOT be blind or deaf or otherwise deprived of one of the nice abilities I've been blessed with, but I'd still want to live.

I do assume most people would rather not be disabled. It's not insulting to say that, though, because saying "I like being able to do all the things I can do" isn't saying "I think your life is worthless, and I can't imagine why you don't do us all the favor of killing yourself".

I'm an unconscious vegetable and won't be anything more than that, ever...then I think it would make sense to just pull the plug. It's not doing anybody any good if I'm not there anyway, and it's pumping money and resources into a person when they could be better helping someone else who DOES have a chance of survival.

I tentatively agree. I'd appreciate a grace period, in case I wake up from whatever coma I'm in, if this ever happens, but I don't want to be hanging around for years with no hope of ever waking up. Not because I think it's a miserable life, I doubt I'd be conscious enough to know, but because I too don't like wasting money on nothing.

*applause*

[marveen.livejournal.com]

Well-said. (My husband had another run-in today with an idiot who thinks that the only disabilities that count are the ones you can see from fifty yards' distance.)

Re: *applause*

[conuly]

Stupidity is a disease. I pity them.

Re: *applause*

[malantha.livejournal.com]

lol, strange criterion. you can't see blindness from 50 yards' distance.

Blindness

[staircase-wit.livejournal.com]

You can see the red-tipped white sticks.

Re: *applause*

[marveen.livejournal.com]

The rude old bat's arguement was that he didn't LOOK disabled, which justified her yelling at him about "taking up a handicapped space."

Daft old biddy.

[stejcruetekie.livejournal.com]

I have to disagree with you, as someone who has a disability. I've attempted suicide in the past, and while I probably wouldn't do it now, I wouldn't turn down death either. In many ways I would welcome it.

What many people don't realize is that it's not the disability that "kills," it's the emotions. You might be able to imagine yourself deaf or blind, but you'll never be able to truely imagine the emotional and social pain it causes.

[conuly]

The suicide rate for autistics is pretty damn high. Am I severely disabled? Hardly. Do I qualify as disabled? Definitely. And I managed to luck out of crippling depression and suicidal tendancies. I think it was my upbringing.

At any rate, I was refering to people with no disability whatsoever, who really can't say definitely what they'd do if they found themselves disabled. You don't qualify because you can't say "if I were disabled, I'd blank". You ARE disabled.

[catsluvdmb.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I had a blind professor who on a weekly basis would spout off about wanting someone to just shoot him in the head...

[conuly]

Because he was blind?

I'm not saying no disabled person is suicidal, or that these suicidal tendancies aren't related to their disability (discounting when the disability is depression, because that really would skew my numbers). What I'm saying is that 1. you don't know what you'd do if you were disabled unless you are and 2. it's damn insulting to tell other people that, in their shoes, you'd kill yourself. Oh, if I were black, I'd kill myself. If I were male, I'd kill myself. If I had no life and all my friends were online... wait, no, that one's true.

[deceptica]

While I can't see myself saying that I'd rather be dead than disabled, I don't see how that necessarily has to be an insult. You'd understand it as, to quote from an earlier reply: "I think your life is worthless, and I can't imagine why you don't do us all the favor of killing yourself". My first thought was that it could actually be a compliment in the sense of: "I don't think I could cope with a situation like that. I admire the people who can." *shrugs*

[conuly]

"I don't think I could cope with a situation like that. I admire the people who can."

Which is still a stupid thing to say. Just trust me, anything which causes the amount of ranting that this does is NOT a good thing to say.

[deceptica]

Why is it stupid?

[conuly]

Because you're making an assumption that the person to whom you are speaking really IS brave, or struggling, or whatever. This may or may not be the case. Furthermore, it's stupid because it's offensive. I don't know how to explain it, I just know it is, and I know this is the case because people get offended by it. Saying things that you know (or know now) will offend people, deliberately, is either stupid or rude.

[waifofthenorth.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I want to bow before your awesome wrath...

I recently went through a lot of chemo, and although that's not a permenant afliction, I glad for the tough times I've gone through, because they've made me a stronger person. However, I wouldn't wish my problems on anyone else, or want anyone else's problems.

*exits stage left.

[conuly]

Makes sense, everything you've said.

[mhari.livejournal.com]

My tactless bitch side says that I hope they do die before they're disabled, so they don't make the rest of us look like whiny assholes by association. :)

While I'm at it, whiny assholes in general are welcome to exit this world.

Mmm, whine-free world... *daydreams*

[conuly]

Well, yeah. I just wish I could see one of them so I could smite 'em personally.

[staircase-wit.livejournal.com]

It's not disability itself... it's the inability to masturbate that frightens me. I guess I'd be OK as long as there was someway to achieve orgasm by myself.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

The disability thing. The recently disabled are more likely to want to kill themselves, though after a year they report the same level of happiness as before they were disabled (general statistics here). On average, most disabilities have people with suicide rates and depression rates the same as the perfectly "enabled."

Oh the things I learn in philosophy.

[conuly]

The recently disabled are more likely to want to kill themselves, though after a year they report the same level of happiness as before they were disabled (general statistics here).

Just like lottery winners.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

Indeed! I really wish I knew the psychological effect's name (and I got a 5 on the AP psych test too), but people always return to the norm.