Thursday, taking my nieces and the boys I pick up to the library

[conuly]

Younger boy: I'm a boy, and when I grow up, I'll be a man.
Me: Yes, that's usually how it works.
YB: And when I'm a man, I'll say "YO, MAMA!"
Me: *sporfle*
Me: Well, I mean, you might do that, but that's really not very nice, sweetie.

*dying inside omg*

Comments

[alatefeline]

Thank you.

[monanotlisa]

Out of the mouths, etc. :)

[conuly]

:)

Given his age it was actually adorable, hence the stifled giggling, but it won't be cute when he's grown.

[conuly]

Yup. Next time somebody tries to tell me that preschool is "too young to know their gender*" I'm going to point to this story. Not only is their gender one of the things we expect them to be able to tell us right off the bat but they're already picking up expected gender behavior! This is just a bit more dramatic than "pink is for girls!"

* Something people only say about transkids, but they obstinately refuse to admit this.

[alatefeline]

He's got at least one good role model to help him figure out how not to.

"Yo mama" jokes are a perennial weed I'm still working on tackling in am appropriate, effective, culturally sensitive, and feminist manner. So far my best strategy is getting the kids involved to *think*, e.g about how they would feel if someone said the joke's content directly to their mother, auntie, baby sister, etc. But that requires enough trust to get them to be willing to not blow me off. And that in turn requires me to listen to them about other things.

Another pet peeve is kids eating those orange-powder-covered spicy chips. Hopefully that one wasn't happening at the library!

[conuly]

I don't think he meant jokes. I think he meant saying "Yo, Mama! You're so fine!" and the like to strangers.

[alatefeline]

Noted.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"Well, I mean, you might do that, but it'll make women laugh in your face and tell all their friends on Facebook what an asshole you are" would be closer to the truth.

Especially in these times, boys really need it made inescapably clear to them that sexism=hate, and sexist behavior will thus be interpreted as evidence of hate. Guys can piss and moan about this fact as much as they please, but that won't change it. Self-respecting women don't date Nazi scum (http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2017/02/10/daily-stormer-just-as-jews-belong-in-the-oven-so-women-deserve-to-be-slapped/), and one of the key identifiers for Nazi scum is their disrespect for women, so saying 'YO, MAMA" is more than just "not very nice" - it's a declaration of enmity.

[mme-n-b.livejournal.com]

But why not? Presumably his mother would find it a cute greeting.

[conuly]

Well, he's not yet four, so I didn't want to use any curse words. I figured "It's not nice" got the point across well enough. He'll be four next week. (Which reminds me, I promised to get him a present. I'm tempted to get him a book, but I'm actually going to get him a game or a toy. But something very small - I'm not paid enough to get him something pricey.)

[conuly]

Well, given that he won't be four for a week it was actually adorable, but I don't like being catcalled and that's almost certainly what he was imitating. LOL, he deepened his voice to do it! But it won't be cute when he's 20 and yelling it at strange women.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Ah, this is your little wildling, then? I guess not-quite-four is still young enough for such talk to be kind of cute. Happy birthday to him!

[mme-n-b.livejournal.com]

Erm... Our senses of humor are very different. I'll take a note of that and be more explicit the next time I attempt a joke.