"I know exactly how this works!"

Detective Whatsherface: Oh, do you?
Me: Oh geez.
Injured best friend: Yes, and I know exactly what you're trying to do to get me to talk and accidentally tell you where my best friend is and all the crimes we accidentally committed and everything blah blah blah
Me: If you don't shut up, you're going to actually tell this woman something you really shouldn't!
Her: blah blah blah I know better than to talk to the cops....
Me: You've done nothing but talk to a cop since she walked in! Just be quiet! You're paralyzed in a hospital, pretend you suddenly passed out! Or do whatever you like, just stop talking!

JFC. I have rarely been more annoyed at somebody in fiction who is talking to the police when they really shouldn't. (Which is always.)

Here's some free legal advice, from somebody who watches a lot of procedurals: don't talk to the cops means don't talk to the cops.

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