Once again, let's see if we can explain this.

My family - all of us, now that my grandmother is here as well - all lives in one house. Yes, it's technically a two-family house (with two additional apartments), but the fact is that people are constantly going from one apartment to another without much fuss about it. The girls walk through my apartment when they get home, and they pop by and bug me if they get scared in the middle of the night or if they wake up too early. I cooked in Jennifer's apartment to make dinner tonight, and then I carried it down three flights of stairs so all of us could eat together with my grandmother*. We bring things upstairs and leave them there, or we bring them down here and leave them here, or we bring them back and forth. Sometimes I've been called upon to watch my nieces for a few minutes so their parents could pop out and do a few things, and sometimes I put them to bed. When Ana was sick last week, and her mother was as well, Ana and Evangeline didn't go to bed like they were supposed to so, after seeing that Jenn was asleep I just put them back to bed myself complete with cough syrup, swinging the hammocks, and singing a few new songs. In the past I've had to decide if a kiddo is sick enough to go to the doctor or, conversely, well enough to go to school. I've made lunches for them and breakfasts. I slog through homework with them so their parents don't have to do it, I've taught Ana cursive*, and I've done it for shockingly little pay.

And we all live in the same house. My mother lives here, and my grandmother. My nieces live with their extended family in an inter-generational home. This is a good way to live. And I know it might seem strange to people who are used to a more divided arrangement of people, but it's a valid lifestyle choice.

So when I say things like "Well, we don't have a Christmas tree", I don't mean that I don't have a Christmas tree and my sister does, I mean that in the hubbub of recent weeks this family has not decorated. (And, in truth, I'm usually the person who pushes to decorate.) Not "part of my family", because you can't divide us up when we all live in the same house - none of the family! I don't see my nieces occasionally, I see them daily, because we all live together. And no, I'm not their mom, and no, I don't wish to be their mom, but I'm not going to pretend that we're not an important part of each other's lives, because we *are*. I'm a member of their family - not some adjunct they see once in a while who happens to have a blood connection to them.

Thank you.

*I spent the day "spending time" with Bonne-Maman. Well, you know, I can only take so much socialization in one day so mostly I read while she listened to the radio, but I figure - hey, this is the woman who married Bon-Papa, she's got to be used to this sort of thing by now! And indeed, when my grandfather died, that's how it was - he rested in his bed and read or watched TV while my mother and grandmother chatted with each other and I read a book. I'm certain he was happy with this arrangement, because that's how he was.

**Ana's cursive is progressing very nicely. It's legible, she can remember how to form some letters without checking the example, and if she makes a mistake she's able to self-correct.