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All right, guys.
May. 15th, 2009 11:11 pm
1. I know that this neighborhood has a dearth of public garbage cans. Nevertheless, there are some things which should never be left as litter. This list (and it's quite short) includes condoms and diapers. I'd ask if you CARE about the EARTH, but it's clear that you don't. Regardless, try to show some respect for your own neighbors, would you? Especially you with the diaper - KIDS live here. YOU have a kid. Knock it off!
2. When on escalators, we walk on the left and stand on the right. No, really. When asked "excuse me", please at least acknowledge that you speak English (I *heard* you already!) and shove over. It won't kill you.
3. On stairs, we usually walk on the right, in the same way that people drive on the right. It doesn't really matter so long as in a crowd everybody is going in the same direction, of course. However, when you see somebody coming down the stairs lugging a sleeping preschooler in her *left* arm while clutching the banister with her *right* hand, it behooves you to move out of the way. More precisely, please move from the middle of the stairs (which you did) to the right so that I do not have to let go of the banister and lurch to the other one midstep. If you don't know your right from your left, just try to make way for less maneuverable people, as though you were a ship at sea. Some of us can't move sideways.
4. Umbrellas. They keep rain off. They are *not* to be used as oratorical props. Dear God, woman, you nearly took out Evangeline's eye! That you didn't is only because my thigh intervened, and that hurt! If you don't have any concept of personal space, at least opt for a small, "pocket" umbrella. You can buy them for a dollar anywhere so long as there's clouds and drizzle.
5. It's crepe paper. It's not a noose. No, I don't care that it's around Evangeline's neck. Even were it long enough to catch on something and strangle her (which it's not), it's crepe paper. Even as you were speaking to me, it was tearing! Crepe! Paper! (Also? No, I don't care that Ana climbed over that 3 foot fence. Speak to me when she climbs something over her - or my - head. Oh, she could fall? Well, she'll have to climb better, then.)
2. When on escalators, we walk on the left and stand on the right. No, really. When asked "excuse me", please at least acknowledge that you speak English (I *heard* you already!) and shove over. It won't kill you.
3. On stairs, we usually walk on the right, in the same way that people drive on the right. It doesn't really matter so long as in a crowd everybody is going in the same direction, of course. However, when you see somebody coming down the stairs lugging a sleeping preschooler in her *left* arm while clutching the banister with her *right* hand, it behooves you to move out of the way. More precisely, please move from the middle of the stairs (which you did) to the right so that I do not have to let go of the banister and lurch to the other one midstep. If you don't know your right from your left, just try to make way for less maneuverable people, as though you were a ship at sea. Some of us can't move sideways.
4. Umbrellas. They keep rain off. They are *not* to be used as oratorical props. Dear God, woman, you nearly took out Evangeline's eye! That you didn't is only because my thigh intervened, and that hurt! If you don't have any concept of personal space, at least opt for a small, "pocket" umbrella. You can buy them for a dollar anywhere so long as there's clouds and drizzle.
5. It's crepe paper. It's not a noose. No, I don't care that it's around Evangeline's neck. Even were it long enough to catch on something and strangle her (which it's not), it's crepe paper. Even as you were speaking to me, it was tearing! Crepe! Paper! (Also? No, I don't care that Ana climbed over that 3 foot fence. Speak to me when she climbs something over her - or my - head. Oh, she could fall? Well, she'll have to climb better, then.)
