Here's an article on free-ranging kids, though the author doesn't call it that

[conuly]

It's unusual in that the comments are worth reading.

One that stands out starts thusly:

Teaching in a comm. college, I find that younger students are typically unable to describe the neighborhood they grew up in. Some say they still don't know their own neighborhoods beyond the back yard. Older adults have strong sensory memories of their childhood neighborhoods, and usually enjoy recounting those places, people, and games.

That? That is terrifying.

The kids on this block aren't growing up like that, most of them, which is a great relief to me. Annoying as the local kids are at times, I'd rather see them outside playing than stuck inside all day.

Comments

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

I grew up in a small city, and I'm grateful my parents carried their small town attitudes over when it came to raising me. By seven I was catching the city bus after school to go to the Y, and by nine I loved riding my bike (or in winter, trudging on foot) across town on Saturday afternoons to spend my allowance on a couple of comic books and some fried chicken or ice cream. The only time I remember being scared with a stranger danger speech from my mother was when I was six and I'd told my eleven-year-old sister, who was babysitting, that I was only going for a walk before supper, and ended up losing track of time talking with a girl I'd met.

Then I went to high school in another neighbourhood and was shocked to make friends who had never taken a city bus in their lives. They didn't know how to get down to the river on foot, or where you could get cheap food, or where to find a quiet park to hang out in. Some had never been to their nearest corner store. One wasn't even allowed to shower when he was home alone lest he slip and hit his head.

I'm still a shy and anxious person now, so I shudder to think how I might have turned out if I'd spent all my time inside.

[peebs1701.livejournal.com]

This comment pretty much spells out my worries:

calliopejane7/9/2009 8:55:06 AM

The sad thing is that even if you as a parent don't want to give in to the irrational fear, you are not allowed to do that, the rest of the community will monitor you and report you. I have heard of parents arrested for "neglect" for things my parents (and they were GOOD parents) did with fair regularity. Like being left in the car while my mom went into a store -- with the warnings of "don't unlock the doors for anyone but me, and don't play with the horn!!" No one thought anything of it then, it's not like we'd be left for all that long; but now some adult has to call the police if they see an 8 year old waiting alone in a car for 15 minutes.

My daughter is only 3 1/2 years old right now, but I remember wandering around the neighborhood alone as young as 7 or 8. While I know that we live in a safe area and she knows how to get to home, her dad's work, and the BART station even at this age, I'd feel scared to let her go around by herself in a few years. I know she would likely be fine, but I don't want to risk anyone accusing me of negligence to CPS.

[siderea]

That? That is terrifying.

Yeah, seriously. It's not like being able to recognize, orient yourself to, and navigate in your own geographical neighborhood might have some personal security ramifications. *rolls eyes*

I'm having a vision of some kid who's grabbed -- by bullies, by nefarious adults -- has his shirt pulled over his head, and is hauled two blocks away... and when he wrests himself free, is so lost he can't get home on his own.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I grew up in a rather dull suburbia. If it weren't for the docks where I could go and put horseshoe crabs back into the water and the Long Island Railroad giving me easy access to New York City, there would be very little of note about my childhood neighborhood. I can describe various details. I can tell you that the Friendly's and the library were across the street from each other and throughout most of my early childhood were the markers of how far I was allowed to travel by myself in that direction. (I suspect part of the reason that that was the allowed distance was that it was a useful distance, letting me go to the library by myself... also allowing me and a friend to get stomachaches all by ourselves by stopping at all of the stores on the way that sold candy and then buying ice cream). But short of buying candy or comics or going to the library, there wasn't much that was interesting.

On a side note, I know very little about what lay beyond the library. We moved before I went to High School. I know there was a yogurt place further down that block. Honestly, I should have explored, but I didn't think to ask my parents to allow me to travel further on my own, and my parents never remembered to update rules unless I asked them about them. So my boundary stayed fixed from age 7 to 13, which obviously is silly. My parents probably forgot they had even given me a boundary. They may have only done so because when I was very young I'd ask questions like, how far may I travel by myself? My siblings didn't tend to ask such questions and thus had no limits set upon them.

We were very free-range, but it was a quiet suburbia. You actually could have played in the street in front of my house during most of the day if you had wanted to, but people had such large lawns that children didn't.

[jedirita.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the article yet - but in a similar vein, I was with my sis at the family reunion, and she was saying how she and her hubby want to move to a suburb of Seattle, because where they live right now doens't really have much of a backyard. And yet, they live within easy walking distance of a terrific, huge city park right along the waterfront.

I confess myself flabbergasted. I'm such a city girl, and I really kinda hate suburbia. I guess my feeling is, kids don't honor borders anyway. They'll find a place to explore, even if it isn't a fenced backyard. Maybe ESPECIALLY if it's not a fenced backyard.

Where I live right now, we don't have a fenced backyard - and that is an issue when the padawan is still 2 1/2 yo. But when he's older? I think it would be great. LOTS of room to explore, and a number of quasi-wilderness areas nearby.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I don't have children currently, but that is a big concern for me as well. I have a friend who was investigated for letting her kids go to a park (one block away in a safe neighborhood) by themselves. I don't remember whether it was when I was 6 or when I was 7 that don't cross the street without an adult turned into you can go this far in the neighborhood by yourself, but I definitely remember in early Elementary school arranging to meet up with a friend to play at her house. She lived kind of far away and I never could remember how to get to her house on my own, but we both knew how to get from our own home to the docks (one of the few interesting places in my neighborhood) so we would meet there and then she'd escort me to her house.

I had to let my parents know where I was going, but by 6 or 7 I was pretty much arranging my own social life, often including the transportation there. Usually my father would pick me up when it was time for me to go home, as often it'd get dark fairly early and he'd be home from work by then. It always saddened me that my other really good friend at that age didn't live somewhere I could get to by myself.

My boyfriend (and if I have children the person likely to be the father) also grew up with vast amounts of independence as a very young child. He grew up in Germany where children are expected to learn the local transit systems and know how to get around places. When he moved to the US he was really upset to be in an area that required cars to get anywhere. He had far less independence and mobility as a young teenager than he did as a young child.

While I feel both of our childhoods could be improved upon, I definitely don't think mobility and independence were bad things. And as Conuly often points out, children are even safer these days. And it's not like we were in horrible danger then. At least, not from strangers. And not because we had mobility. It's when you can't leave bad situations that you're most likely to have problems. Like at school or on school buses where you're trapped.

[elfster.livejournal.com]

I think town kids are still inclined to explore their neighbourhoods around here. It would strike me as scary if they didn't!

I grew up in rural New Zealand so I never really had a "neighbourhood" and was not overly familiar with town but we did plenty of exploring. I was usually with my twin brother and Mum would let us wander around as long as we told her roughly where we were going.

[feebeeglee.livejournal.com]

I have six kids, and two of them are old enough to play unsupervised, provided they stay together. I'm lucky we live in a neighborhood where kids play outside and wander about.

I wonder if it's income related; it seems the more expensive the homes the more smothered the kids. We live in a very working class, older neighborhood in midtown.

[leora.livejournal.com]

On a side note, I think there may be a child in my neighborhood being abused. (This greatly displeases me, but unless I can obtain either an address or a full name, there is nothing I can do about it but hope that I am wrong.) However, after hearing what sounded like what might have been a child being abused and then sent outside (possibly to play) I realized that there was no way for me to talk to the child if this was actually the case or to gather any information or to figure out which house it may have been, because all of the houses in my neighborhood have fenced backyards, so the child could easily be abused with no neighbors able to figure out much.

Given that domestic violence is a whole lot more common than strangers being dangerous, it gave me a new take on the effects of fenced in backyards.

[conuly]

One wasn't even allowed to shower when he was home alone lest he slip and hit his head.

What the hell?

[conuly]

Yeah, seriously. It's not like being able to recognize, orient yourself to, and navigate in your own geographical neighborhood might have some personal security ramifications. *rolls eyes*

And I know what that feels like from personal experience. I'm actually really thankful I had the opportunity to get severely lost several times as a kid because it taught me how to, well, be lost. I'm still really shitty at navigating anything, but I know how to get help.

[conuly]

it seems the more expensive the homes the more smothered the kids.

I've come to that same conclusion the other way around - taking the bus by the projects I see that their kids are outside all the time, either in the street, or alone (with older siblings if they're young enough) at the playground or, in the big one, running back and forth on their balconies from one apartment to the other.

Even in our (fairly non-rich) neighborhood all the kids are outside on the sidewalk and in the street all the time, making their own fun - making skateboard ramps out of plywood, scavenging used bikes and hula hoops to use, whatever.

But a few blocks away where it's wealthier you come across people who think the bus is somehow dangerous. *eyeroll* The bus where the kids the same age as THEIR kids consistently offered me seats and shushed their companions if they cursed in front of the nieces? THAT bus? Yeah, it's soooooo unsafe.

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Just...yeah.

[conuly]

That's unpleasant, and you never strike me as the type to jump to this sort of conclusion.

Given that domestic violence is a whole lot more common than strangers being dangerous, it gave me a new take on the effects of fenced in backyards.

Indeed. Apparently, when we were in Louisiana there was a boy whose parents alternately neglected and beat him - he'd just show up at the house in the morning for breakfast, that sort of thing. Which was a bad situation all around, but without people expecting him to be afraid of strangers there was an easy solution - feed him and tell his parents that if you see a suspicious bruise on him you WILL call the cops. That's what my mother says she did about it, anyway, so he turned from being abused and neglected to just neglected.

[conuly]

BTW, you're another comment I wanna crosspost over at FreeRange Kids.

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

I recall that when we moved to a new town, I got lost the first time my mother let me bike around the neighbourhood. I had boundaries, but the neighbourhood was a maze of crescents and courts. I looked around for a block parent sign and couldn't find one, so I knocked at the door of the first house I found that 1) looked like someone was home, and 2) looked like kids lived there. The woman who answered let me call my mother who came to pick me up and told me I'd done the right thing.

I know far too many people who'd react to this story with: "But a padedophile could have answered the door!" Well, yes. There was a teensy tiny of that happening, and an even smaller chance that said paedophile would try to detain me. But overall, a six year old kid is pretty safe knocking on a random door in a residential neighbourhood, and I was even safer after that because it taught me to be more aware of my surroundings in new places.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I'm trying not to leap to conclusions, which is warring with my desire not to take the easy path of just ignoring the problem.

But since I don't know which house it would be if it is the case, there is nothing I can do. (I've contacted CPS for California once before, then I had very good evidence of a child being severely abused by both parents, but since I had neither a full name nor an address they refused to take a report. I had an email address. They could have looked at the evidence, gotten a warrant to get the name and address from the ISP and investigated. They wouldn't even take a report. If that child ends up on the news because of abuse, people will say nobody even reported it.)

All I know is I've heard things. The clearest thing I heard was just after I woke up or as I was waking up, so I cannot 100% rule out the possibility that it wasn't real. It was a horrible tone of voice full of cruelty saying something like, "Yes, your father will be home in an hour, now go outside or you'll get worse."

I figure if there is regular abuse, I'm liking to hear something again. Maybe I can eventually figure out where it is coming from. However, I cannot locate sounds. I've always had issues where I can't tell where sounds are coming from. And I think I've only ever heard anything problematic during the day on week days, when my housemates are much less likely to be home.

There's really nothing I can do but hope for the best. If I get more information, I may eventually do something. I'd report it even if I wasn't sure, since I feel it ought to be investigated. Maybe it isn't abuse. And maybe that was just a bad day. But it should be checked. And there is nothing I can do currently, which is very frustrating.

You always hear about bystander apathy and why didn't anyone do anything... and here I sit, safe and comfortable. But there's nothing I can do. It's not like I can go door to door and say, hi, I'm your neighbor, are you abusing any kids? Not that I even have the energy for that. Just going outside to check around is an energy expenditure for me, even though I took it as an opportunity to test ride my new power wheelchair and roller-tip cane.

[conuly]

If you can hear them, they're probably close by, within two houses or so - right? Do any of the houses in that radius have kid toys outside?

[leora.livejournal.com]

None of the houses in my neighborhood have kids' toys outside. Probably because they're all keeping any kids they have in their backyards.

I figure it probably is close, but sometimes sound can travel deceptively far, especially when someone is yelling. So, I figure it's probably one of the houses around me, but it could even, theoretically, be a house across the large street... ummm my house is on a block with a small street and a house on that street directly out from the front door. But behind me is a large busy street and then on the other side of that, more houses. If it's coming from there, it's highly unlikely I'll figure it out. But it's probably nearby. Which means the houses to the left, right, across, and across and down the tiny cul-de-sac street a bit.

It helps that they're all houses. If there were an apartment complex it might be hopeless (although someone else could probably figure it out. But it's still a large enough group of possibilities that it's tricky. Also, I don't want to report any family simply because they're in the right area and have kids. I want some evidence that links possible abuse to a particular house. While an investigation isn't the end of the world, I really don't want any family investigated if they almost certainly have no abuse (or, at least, no signs of it).

So figuring out which houses have kids would be a start, but I'd really like some link. I was hoping I'd go out and find a child playing. Maybe even be able to ask the kid if they'd just been sent out to play. But no such luck.

I like to think that if there is abuse someone will report it even if I don't, but I know far too many people who were abused and it was never reported, so I don't actually feel like that's something I can rely on.

Mainly, I want the child to know that s/he deserves to be treated better and it's not his/her fault. That can make a big difference. I'd like the child to know that somebody gives a damn and thinks the treatment (if it's as bad as I fear or worse) isn't okay.

But getting info won't be easy. Especially as I am a stranger, so kids aren't supposed to talk to me. I'm vaguely hoping if an opportunity presents itself being a blind cripple will count in my favor and make me seem less scary.

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. I believe I've commented over there before once, on a post about sexual abuse.

[conuly]

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2009/07/16/kids-can-do-more-than-we-think/#comment-9351

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

have you read Louv's "Last Child in the Woods"?