Y'know, if I don't like a joke it might *not* be because I'm oversensitive

[conuly]

It might be because it's actually offensive. And no, I don't lack a sense of humor. All things aside, it's also just not that funny.

Comments

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Eh it wasn't offensive and if you have a long strange relationship like mine, I might laugh. If D said it, I'd laugh because it would be in a string of the messed up goofy things we say. Was kind of funny, to me.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Not that I think people who don;t like it don't have a sense of humor, just a different one.

And if it was some guy I was just dating or something, I would punch him in the mouth or something. Just to clarify.

[fjorab-teke.livejournal.com]

Ugh. But then, I'm the kind who got IMMEDIATELY sick of the popular "Git 'er done!" phrase.

I've told my guy (who's not actually LIKE that but sometimes adopts phrases that he hears too much from buddies)...that if he says things like that I'll be rather angry and he WON'T be "gettin' 'er done" ANY time soon. :-p

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I never realized that silly phrase was sexual in nature.

[conuly]

You didn't make a connection between "on your knees" and "that's the only time you should have your mouth open" and "sex"?

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

No, the get r done thing. I thought it just meant to finish what you were doing or something.

[velvetchamber.livejournal.com]

It might of course not be, but it certainly sounds like it's a piss poor relationship.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

It may not be piss poor either. You'd have to know the two people, know if it is an inside joke, if they have a history of playful teasing, if they're used to language like that which offends people from a different background, and so on.

I would say that I honestly have one of the best relationships of anyone I know. And we've been known to blurt out some shocking things to each other. But people who speak nicer to each other would be LUCKY to have as good a relationship as we have, seriously.

Not that it's the language that does it -- just that we are well suited, including temperments and what we consider acceptable to each other.

[velvetchamber.livejournal.com]

That's what I said. It may not be the case, but it does sound like a piss poor relationship.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

And I'm saying it may not be piss poor.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"Oversensitive" is a word people use when they're trying to weasel out of taking responsibility for having hurt or offended someone. All it means is that the person using it is too cowardly and immature to either apologize properly for an unintentional insult, or admit up-front that it was intentional and accept the consequences of that.

No, the alleged 'joke' wasn't funny, and it wasn't a joke either. It was a crude and deliberate insult, to which the correct response is to be insulted. Basically, the man is telling the woman that he considers her a whore who has no business opening her mouth unless it's to suck his dick

Slapping, punching, nard-kicking and other forms of personal violence aren't dignified, and they aren't wise either, since they put one at risk of getting punched back or charged with assault. But obviously a guy who makes it so plain that one's conversation is unwelcome should not have any more of it inflicted on him, ever. One might also wish to repeat his words to others, especially to women who might otherwise make the mistake of 'chattering' at him.

Neither of my husbands were such fools as to say anything of that sort, but if they ever had, it would have taken a long time and a lot of very humble and tangible contrition before they got either conversation or anything else from me. And a man who wasn't my husband would simply be *history* after such a remark: I'd have nothing further to do with him, and I'd make damn sure my friends knew why.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

You're projecting what you feel their real feelings were, though, there.

You're assuming he was annoyed, you're assuming he meant to be insulting. Maybe you're just classier than I am, but we have been known to say some shocking things to each other and are probably the happiest couple we know. Part of it IS that we are so intimate and close that we can 'shock' each other with the most ridiculous nonsense you could imagine.

I can also see a bit of cultural influence on that insult -- where there are people who are playful like that and speak a lot harsher than some people can handle.

It's between the two of them. If he was being an ass, yes, he was way over the top and deserves to be miserable and alone. If he was saying something that was a personal in-joke, then there's nothing wrong with it. Consensual isn't just about the physical part of a relationship, it can be the verbal part, too.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Eh it wasn't offensive and if you have a long strange relationship like mine, I might laugh. If D said it, I'd laugh because it would be in a string of the messed up goofy things we say. Was kind of funny, to me.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Not that I think people who don;t like it don't have a sense of humor, just a different one.

And if it was some guy I was just dating or something, I would punch him in the mouth or something. Just to clarify.

[fjorab-teke.livejournal.com]

Ugh. But then, I'm the kind who got IMMEDIATELY sick of the popular "Git 'er done!" phrase.

I've told my guy (who's not actually LIKE that but sometimes adopts phrases that he hears too much from buddies)...that if he says things like that I'll be rather angry and he WON'T be "gettin' 'er done" ANY time soon. :-p

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I never realized that silly phrase was sexual in nature.

[conuly]

You didn't make a connection between "on your knees" and "that's the only time you should have your mouth open" and "sex"?

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

No, the get r done thing. I thought it just meant to finish what you were doing or something.

[velvetchamber.livejournal.com]

It might of course not be, but it certainly sounds like it's a piss poor relationship.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

It may not be piss poor either. You'd have to know the two people, know if it is an inside joke, if they have a history of playful teasing, if they're used to language like that which offends people from a different background, and so on.

I would say that I honestly have one of the best relationships of anyone I know. And we've been known to blurt out some shocking things to each other. But people who speak nicer to each other would be LUCKY to have as good a relationship as we have, seriously.

Not that it's the language that does it -- just that we are well suited, including temperments and what we consider acceptable to each other.

[velvetchamber.livejournal.com]

That's what I said. It may not be the case, but it does sound like a piss poor relationship.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

And I'm saying it may not be piss poor.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"Oversensitive" is a word people use when they're trying to weasel out of taking responsibility for having hurt or offended someone. All it means is that the person using it is too cowardly and immature to either apologize properly for an unintentional insult, or admit up-front that it was intentional and accept the consequences of that.

No, the alleged 'joke' wasn't funny, and it wasn't a joke either. It was a crude and deliberate insult, to which the correct response is to be insulted. Basically, the man is telling the woman that he considers her a whore who has no business opening her mouth unless it's to suck his dick

Slapping, punching, nard-kicking and other forms of personal violence aren't dignified, and they aren't wise either, since they put one at risk of getting punched back or charged with assault. But obviously a guy who makes it so plain that one's conversation is unwelcome should not have any more of it inflicted on him, ever. One might also wish to repeat his words to others, especially to women who might otherwise make the mistake of 'chattering' at him.

Neither of my husbands were such fools as to say anything of that sort, but if they ever had, it would have taken a long time and a lot of very humble and tangible contrition before they got either conversation or anything else from me. And a man who wasn't my husband would simply be *history* after such a remark: I'd have nothing further to do with him, and I'd make damn sure my friends knew why.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

You're projecting what you feel their real feelings were, though, there.

You're assuming he was annoyed, you're assuming he meant to be insulting. Maybe you're just classier than I am, but we have been known to say some shocking things to each other and are probably the happiest couple we know. Part of it IS that we are so intimate and close that we can 'shock' each other with the most ridiculous nonsense you could imagine.

I can also see a bit of cultural influence on that insult -- where there are people who are playful like that and speak a lot harsher than some people can handle.

It's between the two of them. If he was being an ass, yes, he was way over the top and deserves to be miserable and alone. If he was saying something that was a personal in-joke, then there's nothing wrong with it. Consensual isn't just about the physical part of a relationship, it can be the verbal part, too.