Oh, I was annoyed today.

[conuly]

The Friday program had been moved to another room because Portia's Playhouse was frigid in the morning. That gave all of us a chance to play with "new" toys. (Not new to Evangeline, but new to most of the babies who go to the Friday program - they don't go on Tuesdays and Thursdays.)

One of the toys there is a "garage" with three rescue vehicles (police car, firetruck, ambulance) and three corresponding figures. The figures act as keys to open the garage doors, and also to release the vehicles from the garage by pressing down where they rest. It's hard to explain, but it's a really nifty toy.

A woman was sitting there with her 16-month old, and they were playing with this toy. She told me it was the longest he'd played with a toy before but he's "always going for the boy toys".

Well, I've said before, I think people see what they want to see when they say that, but I don't know these people. She could be right. I didn't really care, anyway, so I was prepared to just nod and smile. Until... "I'm sure your girls are the same way, always going for the girl toys".

Oh no. It's one thing to say that about your kid, or about kids you at least know - but I'm sure you don't know one thing about my nieces. For example, of the toys up there, Evangeline prefers the animal shape sorter with keys (gender-neutral?), and Ana's favorite is that very same truck toy.

I didn't tell her that. What I said is that I've actually never seen that with any child of that age (admittedly I don't have years and years of experience, but I have paid some attention during these programs) and that most of the time, downstairs in the blocks, the kids all swarm towards that kitchen. "Oh, I think I've seen my son play in that kitchen." (That comment came just after she told me he wouldn't really "get" the stacking pots with the mirror in them. In fact, the mention of the stacking pots was what started this whole discussion in the first place. When I put the on the table, guess what? He loved them. Those things are cool.)

(I was so very irritated by this that I forgot to tell her they're not my kids. Usually, that's the first thing I say! I'm so tired of people being shocked several months later by the revelation that no, they have actual parents. Who aren't me. If only "Connie" didn't sound so very much like "Mommy". Even as a kid, I could never tell if my sister was calling me or my mom, and neither could anybody else in the family.)

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

My 2-year old has that same exact toy!! He got it for his birthday and it was the first thing he opened. He wouldn't touch anything else afterwards, so it was really hard for him to even be interested in his other gifts, lol. He LOVES it and plays with it for a good portion of the day every day. It is one of my favorites too :P

I'm glad that someone else knows what it is! And you did a good job explaining it too ;)

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, and I forgot to add...

My son goes for the "girly" stuff just as much as he goes for the "boy" stuff. He loves playing with his girl-friend's little Sesame Street purse and he likes to wear strands of beads around his neck. (left over from a mardi gras themed party). He loves to play with zippers... especially on my purse, then slings it over his arm and walks around with it for a while. But when a train or a truck toy catches his eye, he's all about that. And I let him do it all, because how else will he learn to interact with people if I restrict him to "boy" themed toys? The same goes for movies. His top 3 favorite movies right now are: Beauty and the Beast, The Rescuers, and Curious George. But he doesn't mind watching Little Mermaid or Cinderella either.

Stupid "OMG he can't watch that/play with that... it might be gay!!" Psshh, whatever.

Anyway, I'm done rambling, lol.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

"It might be gay!"

...so?

I think it's a lot more important that children are happy and develop intellectually and emotionally, than that someone try and guarantee that they bring home the "right" person-with-opposite-plumbing. This sort of thinking seriously confuses a lot of the people I grew up with, and nary a one of the people I count as close friends now.

And if playing with dolls, which is practicing social interaction and taking care of children, is "gay", then dammit I wish more men of my acquaintance were flaming!

[conuly]

Pretty sure the person above agrees with you.

It all reminds me of a story my mom tells about neighbors she used to have. The dad, a shrink, was so sure one of his three sons would turn out to be gay, because, at the age of two, the boy liked to play with soft things.

Well, one of his sons was, in fact, gay - but not that one :)

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

I got one of my rant buttons pushed. I apologize for reacting that strongly at someone who doesn't deserve it, and I apologize to you as well for being as rude as I was.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh I didn't mean being gay is a bad thing at all. I just meant that stereotypically, people freak out and think that being gay is bad. Personally, I could care less if my son brings home the "right" gender. As long as he's happy and healthy and secure in his choices, that's what matters to me (and my husband as well).

Again, I totally didn't mean it in the way it came across. I was just ranting about the stereotypical reaction uptight people have about homosexuality and political correctedness.

I agree 100% about having my kid (and future kid) grow up in a happy, stable, loving environment and making sure that he knows that he's loved no matter what.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. It wasn't what you said as your position, but the concept that being gay is either contagious or a bad thing. Rant button got pushed.

I am sorry that I snapped at you, and ask you to forgive me.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Stupid rented fingers :(

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. It wasn't what you said as your position, but the concept that being gay is either contagious or a bad thing. Rant button got pushed.

I am sorry that I snapped at you, and ask you to forgive me.

I'm reposting this to make sure that you get my apology.

[(Anonymous)]

No worries! It makes me mad too... That's why I said what I did.

Again, don't worry about it :) And thanks.

[conuly]

I think kids that age tend to go for purses and bags, girl or boy.

But some people wouldn't see that, or like it if they did.

[(Anonymous)]

Yep. Exactly.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile she should be VERY GLAD that he is playing in the kitchen because imitative play is VERY important developmentally. She should be concerned if he had no interest at all!

[conuly]

Yeah, really.

I think she hadn't even noticed, probably because it didn't fit into what she already thought about her son and the world.

(The three favorite exhibits with Ana and her friends, girl and boy, are the kitchen area, the firetruck, and the bugs (with a real bee colony!), so I really don't know what that's supposed to prove.)

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

It proves they like kitchens, firetrucks, and bugs. :P

[conuly]

Ah, yes :)

The bugs is another rant altogether. They've got a sign up explaining that they chose to do this exhibit because so many people are afraid of bugs...

and all I hear from random adults is "ew, that's gross" when their kids are interested in one part of the exhibit or another. Or "don't make me look at that", that sort of thing.

*sighs*

my boys...

[honeybunch2.livejournal.com]

my boys would typically go towards the "boy" toys so to speak - the cars, trucks, etc. BUT they have a play kitchen (I only have 2 boys), and a LOT of other types of toys. I don't go out specifically and buy my boys dollies to play with, but when my youngest was born, my oldest was given a doll from a friend that could be his baby while Mommy was busy with Baby Travis. Kalen really liked the doll, and even tried to nurse him, cause that is how Mommy feeds Baby Travis...I am not worried that this might be a demonstartion that he is "gay" or whatever the sterotypical terms that our society tends to use. My son was reacting to what he saw...he was learning.
It always puzzles me why people get so excite that their child is playing with a gender specific toy, and pushes them towards such toys...why not let them explore for themselves!!

[(Anonymous)]

too lazy to in through the sign in thing on my phone. seth lover putting on make up, wearing long shirts as dresses, carries a "baby bag purse", has dolls (with stroller, front carrier, crib, high chair, etc.) and his favorite movie is rent. favorite character is Angel. and he can sing, IN TUNE,90% of the lyrics. and yet, he says he has a girlfriend (girl in church, jael (jay-el )). gay? probably not. have a daddy away for much of his toddlerhood doing army training and deployment, yes. learned from mommy, definately. but i seriously doubt seth is gay. but if he is, cool. but i far more suspect his huge bully of a baby brother Topher. that strong guy Macho cover and all. ;)

[conuly]

Seth is clearly the coolest three year old boy around.

[(Anonymous)]

Darn right. how many other 3 year olds know the choreography to 'today 4 u' ? complete with dress and heels! :-p

[fieryminge.livejournal.com]

My 2-year old has that same exact toy!! He got it for his birthday and it was the first thing he opened. He wouldn't touch anything else afterwards, so it was really hard for him to even be interested in his other gifts, lol. He LOVES it and plays with it for a good portion of the day every day. It is one of my favorites too :P

I'm glad that someone else knows what it is! And you did a good job explaining it too ;)

[fieryminge.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I forgot to add...

My son goes for the "girly" stuff just as much as he goes for the "boy" stuff. He loves playing with his girl-friend's little Sesame Street purse and he likes to wear strands of beads around his neck. (left over from a mardi gras themed party). He loves to play with zippers... especially on my purse, then slings it over his arm and walks around with it for a while. But when a train or a truck toy catches his eye, he's all about that. And I let him do it all, because how else will he learn to interact with people if I restrict him to "boy" themed toys? The same goes for movies. His top 3 favorite movies right now are: Beauty and the Beast, The Rescuers, and Curious George. But he doesn't mind watching Little Mermaid or Cinderella either.

Stupid "OMG he can't watch that/play with that... it might be gay!!" Psshh, whatever.

Anyway, I'm done rambling, lol.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

"It might be gay!"

...so?

I think it's a lot more important that children are happy and develop intellectually and emotionally, than that someone try and guarantee that they bring home the "right" person-with-opposite-plumbing. This sort of thinking seriously confuses a lot of the people I grew up with, and nary a one of the people I count as close friends now.

And if playing with dolls, which is practicing social interaction and taking care of children, is "gay", then dammit I wish more men of my acquaintance were flaming!

[conuly]

Pretty sure the person above agrees with you.

It all reminds me of a story my mom tells about neighbors she used to have. The dad, a shrink, was so sure one of his three sons would turn out to be gay, because, at the age of two, the boy liked to play with soft things.

Well, one of his sons was, in fact, gay - but not that one :)

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

I got one of my rant buttons pushed. I apologize for reacting that strongly at someone who doesn't deserve it, and I apologize to you as well for being as rude as I was.

[fieryminge.livejournal.com]

Oh I didn't mean being gay is a bad thing at all. I just meant that stereotypically, people freak out and think that being gay is bad. Personally, I could care less if my son brings home the "right" gender. As long as he's happy and healthy and secure in his choices, that's what matters to me (and my husband as well).

Again, I totally didn't mean it in the way it came across. I was just ranting about the stereotypical reaction uptight people have about homosexuality and political correctedness.

I agree 100% about having my kid (and future kid) grow up in a happy, stable, loving environment and making sure that he knows that he's loved no matter what.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. It wasn't what you said as your position, but the concept that being gay is either contagious or a bad thing. Rant button got pushed.

I am sorry that I snapped at you, and ask you to forgive me.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Stupid rented fingers :(

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. It wasn't what you said as your position, but the concept that being gay is either contagious or a bad thing. Rant button got pushed.

I am sorry that I snapped at you, and ask you to forgive me.

I'm reposting this to make sure that you get my apology.

[fieryminge.livejournal.com]

No worries! It makes me mad too... That's why I said what I did.

Again, don't worry about it :) And thanks.

[conuly]

I think kids that age tend to go for purses and bags, girl or boy.

But some people wouldn't see that, or like it if they did.

[fieryminge.livejournal.com]

Yep. Exactly.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile she should be VERY GLAD that he is playing in the kitchen because imitative play is VERY important developmentally. She should be concerned if he had no interest at all!

[conuly]

Yeah, really.

I think she hadn't even noticed, probably because it didn't fit into what she already thought about her son and the world.

(The three favorite exhibits with Ana and her friends, girl and boy, are the kitchen area, the firetruck, and the bugs (with a real bee colony!), so I really don't know what that's supposed to prove.)

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

It proves they like kitchens, firetrucks, and bugs. :P

[conuly]

Ah, yes :)

The bugs is another rant altogether. They've got a sign up explaining that they chose to do this exhibit because so many people are afraid of bugs...

and all I hear from random adults is "ew, that's gross" when their kids are interested in one part of the exhibit or another. Or "don't make me look at that", that sort of thing.

*sighs*

my boys...

[(Anonymous)]

my boys would typically go towards the "boy" toys so to speak - the cars, trucks, etc. BUT they have a play kitchen (I only have 2 boys), and a LOT of other types of toys. I don't go out specifically and buy my boys dollies to play with, but when my youngest was born, my oldest was given a doll from a friend that could be his baby while Mommy was busy with Baby Travis. Kalen really liked the doll, and even tried to nurse him, cause that is how Mommy feeds Baby Travis...I am not worried that this might be a demonstartion that he is "gay" or whatever the sterotypical terms that our society tends to use. My son was reacting to what he saw...he was learning.
It always puzzles me why people get so excite that their child is playing with a gender specific toy, and pushes them towards such toys...why not let them explore for themselves!!

[(Anonymous)]

too lazy to in through the sign in thing on my phone. seth lover putting on make up, wearing long shirts as dresses, carries a "baby bag purse", has dolls (with stroller, front carrier, crib, high chair, etc.) and his favorite movie is rent. favorite character is Angel. and he can sing, IN TUNE,90% of the lyrics. and yet, he says he has a girlfriend (girl in church, jael (jay-el )). gay? probably not. have a daddy away for much of his toddlerhood doing army training and deployment, yes. learned from mommy, definately. but i seriously doubt seth is gay. but if he is, cool. but i far more suspect his huge bully of a baby brother Topher. that strong guy Macho cover and all. ;)

[conuly]

Seth is clearly the coolest three year old boy around.

[(Anonymous)]

Darn right. how many other 3 year olds know the choreography to 'today 4 u' ? complete with dress and heels! :-p