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conuly
"Oh, I can call people and things retarded because my sister is retarded and she uses the word all the time! Heeheehee!
Well, bully for you and your sister. It's still not a nice word to be throwing around.
Cue random interlopers:
"Oh, but you don't know she was using the word to insult people! It's mean of you to assume that! Maybe she said her zipper was retarded! That's not insulting, because zippers can't be insulted!"
Fortunately, I was spared the indignity of having to point out how baseless that statement is. Somebody else did, only to get the "dictionary definiton" of retarded - to have been caused to slow down. "So it totally applies to zippers!"
Because people really talk like that, of course. They don't apply perjorative connotations to those words, it's just me and you and our sick sad minds! Yeah!
Sometimes, I could just... just.... I don't know. But it's not pleasant, anyway.
(And yes, TNT is quite hypocritical for allowing dumb but not retarded. Normally I'd ignore it, but now I'm struck with a nagging feeling that I should complain and see if they'll ban the word dumb as well.)
And now comments are frozen. Because calling people out on their offensive and prejudiced language is wrong.
Well, bully for you and your sister. It's still not a nice word to be throwing around.
Cue random interlopers:
"Oh, but you don't know she was using the word to insult people! It's mean of you to assume that! Maybe she said her zipper was retarded! That's not insulting, because zippers can't be insulted!"
Fortunately, I was spared the indignity of having to point out how baseless that statement is. Somebody else did, only to get the "dictionary definiton" of retarded - to have been caused to slow down. "So it totally applies to zippers!"
Because people really talk like that, of course. They don't apply perjorative connotations to those words, it's just me and you and our sick sad minds! Yeah!
Sometimes, I could just... just.... I don't know. But it's not pleasant, anyway.
(And yes, TNT is quite hypocritical for allowing dumb but not retarded. Normally I'd ignore it, but now I'm struck with a nagging feeling that I should complain and see if they'll ban the word dumb as well.)
And now comments are frozen. Because calling people out on their offensive and prejudiced language is wrong.
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:23 am (UTC)*rolls eyes* people are dumb.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:53 am (UTC)Did you know that I once got into it with LJ because when their servers were slow, you would get an error message that they were 'being retarded'? This was pre-T, I got a lot of people blasting me, but I actually got some people on my flist who watched the thread and thought I was cool (or so they told me).
Anyways, seriously, I did a thread in another place online about it, and took a photo of T, put it up, and said now THIS is retarded.
And some people actually said that it made a difference, and they won't do it anymore.
Were I a member of that community, I'd do the same thing. Sometimes people need to be hit over a head with a brick.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:58 am (UTC)2. This is going to sound wrong - but it's possible that T isn't, in fact, retarded. Many autistics test really, really badly. Or, rather, the tests don't accurately show autistic intelligence. (That doesn't apply to everybody, of course, standard disclaimer.) He might be quite bright, it's just hard to see that now. Autistics are actually no more likely to be retarded/slow/whatever word you want to use than the rest of the population. It's just, tests don't show that so well, and it's harder when you're having serious trouble communicating and so on.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 06:31 am (UTC)But unfortunately, for the waivers (which is the respite care which now I don't think I need) the term needs to be used. Otherwise you have to wait for a different 'waiver'. (There are three kinds. MR, Brain Injury, or Ill and Handicapped Child -- he would get the third but the waiting list is over a year.)
I had to explain that to the social worker today, too, that he may not be retarded FOREVER. That it is a holding pattern of sorts to get services and that every year we go back to the clinic to fine tune his DX.
I mostly did it to get the point across.
I will say my big concerns aren't his lack of talking (as far as MR issues go) but his problems with the toy that is a block with holes in it, and you put the properly shaped blocks in it. He doesn't seem to get that. He is constantly trying to jam a square peg into a round hole. But he works so HARD at it, you can just about see the wheels turning when he does that particular exercise.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 02:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:41 pm (UTC)you ignoramus) Are there any non-offensive ways to forcefully denigrate people when they do or say things that one feels deserve censure, or should we be against insults altogether?It's something I am struggling with, btw, because I find a well-placed insult an invaluable rhetorical device, and I frequently feel the need for them to cap an argument, especially those which refer to a person's level of cognitive or communicative ability. But maybe that's just because I am a dick? (Ooops -- no offense meant to people with penises and people without them).
No, seriously. I am a careful and deliberate insult-monger. I also see myself as a progressive who is a supporter of equality and the rights of the variously disadvantaged or put-upon members of society. How would you suggest I wean myself off them?
no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 01:36 am (UTC)2. Well, the point of insulting people is to be offensive. The goal, however, is to insult only the one person, and not entire groups of people.
I prefer to stay away from easy insults altogether, though I do use the word "stupid" a lot more often than I should.... I'm not sure how I do it, though.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:23 am (UTC)*rolls eyes* people are dumb.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:53 am (UTC)Did you know that I once got into it with LJ because when their servers were slow, you would get an error message that they were 'being retarded'? This was pre-T, I got a lot of people blasting me, but I actually got some people on my flist who watched the thread and thought I was cool (or so they told me).
Anyways, seriously, I did a thread in another place online about it, and took a photo of T, put it up, and said now THIS is retarded.
And some people actually said that it made a difference, and they won't do it anymore.
Were I a member of that community, I'd do the same thing. Sometimes people need to be hit over a head with a brick.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:58 am (UTC)2. This is going to sound wrong - but it's possible that T isn't, in fact, retarded. Many autistics test really, really badly. Or, rather, the tests don't accurately show autistic intelligence. (That doesn't apply to everybody, of course, standard disclaimer.) He might be quite bright, it's just hard to see that now. Autistics are actually no more likely to be retarded/slow/whatever word you want to use than the rest of the population. It's just, tests don't show that so well, and it's harder when you're having serious trouble communicating and so on.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 06:31 am (UTC)But unfortunately, for the waivers (which is the respite care which now I don't think I need) the term needs to be used. Otherwise you have to wait for a different 'waiver'. (There are three kinds. MR, Brain Injury, or Ill and Handicapped Child -- he would get the third but the waiting list is over a year.)
I had to explain that to the social worker today, too, that he may not be retarded FOREVER. That it is a holding pattern of sorts to get services and that every year we go back to the clinic to fine tune his DX.
I mostly did it to get the point across.
I will say my big concerns aren't his lack of talking (as far as MR issues go) but his problems with the toy that is a block with holes in it, and you put the properly shaped blocks in it. He doesn't seem to get that. He is constantly trying to jam a square peg into a round hole. But he works so HARD at it, you can just about see the wheels turning when he does that particular exercise.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 02:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 05:41 pm (UTC)you ignoramus) Are there any non-offensive ways to forcefully denigrate people when they do or say things that one feels deserve censure, or should we be against insults altogether?It's something I am struggling with, btw, because I find a well-placed insult an invaluable rhetorical device, and I frequently feel the need for them to cap an argument, especially those which refer to a person's level of cognitive or communicative ability. But maybe that's just because I am a dick? (Ooops -- no offense meant to people with penises and people without them).
No, seriously. I am a careful and deliberate insult-monger. I also see myself as a progressive who is a supporter of equality and the rights of the variously disadvantaged or put-upon members of society. How would you suggest I wean myself off them?
no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 01:36 am (UTC)2. Well, the point of insulting people is to be offensive. The goal, however, is to insult only the one person, and not entire groups of people.
I prefer to stay away from easy insults altogether, though I do use the word "stupid" a lot more often than I should.... I'm not sure how I do it, though.