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conuly
We're out and about. Ana is talking to another child or to another adult, and I call her to say "no, you can't have a cookie" or "hey, do you need to use the toilet?" or "stop asking random people for food, they don't know you" or "can you come here a second? I need a hug?" or whatever and she doesn't respond immediately. She didn't hear me, or it didn't register, fine. I can call a second time.
Random adult (the one she's talking to, or the one with the child she's talking to, generally) will tell her, helpfully "Your mommy is calling - you should answer her" and Ana will reply that no, her mommy's at work.
Now, at this point there are any number of possible replies. You could say "Well, go over there anyway" or "Answer her anyway" or "Who's that, then?" or "Oh, okay. Well, somebody's calling you, at any rate" or "Oh. Can you answer your babysitter, then?" or, oh, I don't know, any number of things.
What they invariably seem to think is the correct response is, instead "No, she's not, she's right there! There's your mommy!"
So instead of helping Ana get her act together and answer me, they're instead engaging her in a pointless argument. And it's a silly one, anyway - what, do they think she doesn't know who her own mother is? She's three! And a half! Years!
People, you need to listen to the child. She knows of what she speaks.
(And to make things worse, this happens at toddler programs at the SICM, where I know for a positive fact that a good 33% or more of the regulars (and any number of the random kids) don't show up there, regularly, with their moms. They arrive with their grandparents, or aunts, or babysitters, and a surprising number of the regulars show up with their dads - moms are in the majority, but not by all that much. Really, people need to *think* sometimes!)
(And, as a side note, when you find out that I'm not her mom, but do watch her during the week - yes, it's nice of me, but I'm not a *saint*. I'm not that wonderful. Just shut up already, will you? This isn't anything special, it's just another job people do. What am I going to do, force Jenn to quit work? How's she going to pay the bills then, and they're family! I always make a point, during this stage of the conversation, to mention that I get paid. I neglect to mention how *much* I get paid, of course....)
Random adult (the one she's talking to, or the one with the child she's talking to, generally) will tell her, helpfully "Your mommy is calling - you should answer her" and Ana will reply that no, her mommy's at work.
Now, at this point there are any number of possible replies. You could say "Well, go over there anyway" or "Answer her anyway" or "Who's that, then?" or "Oh, okay. Well, somebody's calling you, at any rate" or "Oh. Can you answer your babysitter, then?" or, oh, I don't know, any number of things.
What they invariably seem to think is the correct response is, instead "No, she's not, she's right there! There's your mommy!"
So instead of helping Ana get her act together and answer me, they're instead engaging her in a pointless argument. And it's a silly one, anyway - what, do they think she doesn't know who her own mother is? She's three! And a half! Years!
People, you need to listen to the child. She knows of what she speaks.
(And to make things worse, this happens at toddler programs at the SICM, where I know for a positive fact that a good 33% or more of the regulars (and any number of the random kids) don't show up there, regularly, with their moms. They arrive with their grandparents, or aunts, or babysitters, and a surprising number of the regulars show up with their dads - moms are in the majority, but not by all that much. Really, people need to *think* sometimes!)
(And, as a side note, when you find out that I'm not her mom, but do watch her during the week - yes, it's nice of me, but I'm not a *saint*. I'm not that wonderful. Just shut up already, will you? This isn't anything special, it's just another job people do. What am I going to do, force Jenn to quit work? How's she going to pay the bills then, and they're family! I always make a point, during this stage of the conversation, to mention that I get paid. I neglect to mention how *much* I get paid, of course....)
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 02:19 am (UTC)"Who's that, then?"
With abductions what they are, if an adult is trying to interact with a child who then says so-and-so isn't $Person or is otherwise someone they don't know or aren't paying attention, I would then verify first whether or not the child actually knows that person before I even tried to suggest to the child to interact with the adult.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 02:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 03:07 am (UTC)Of said sisters, the younger has two children. The older has none, but very regularly spends time with them, sometimes has them sleep over at her place, sometimes takes them places, keeps a car seat in her car (and used to keep two when the older child was younger), and in various other ways is highly involved with them. She doesn't get paid; she just likes being a part of the lives of her sister and nephews. Is that so weird? They're her family. Sure, they're not as close family as if they were her own kids (genetically that is), but they're still close family. I wish I were more involved in the lives of my nieces and nephews, but it's simply not practical. Had it been, I would have liked to have been.
crazy people
Date: 2006-11-09 04:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 03:24 pm (UTC)And, traditionally, a maiden aunt's role was exactly this - and you are SUCH a blessing I am astonished people ever pushed an old-maid aunt to marry!!!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 03:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 03:42 am (UTC)Yeah, there is that. When my pay does come up, I explain that I have *no* expenses. Whatsoever.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 03:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 02:19 am (UTC)"Who's that, then?"
With abductions what they are, if an adult is trying to interact with a child who then says so-and-so isn't $Person or is otherwise someone they don't know or aren't paying attention, I would then verify first whether or not the child actually knows that person before I even tried to suggest to the child to interact with the adult.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 02:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 03:07 am (UTC)Of said sisters, the younger has two children. The older has none, but very regularly spends time with them, sometimes has them sleep over at her place, sometimes takes them places, keeps a car seat in her car (and used to keep two when the older child was younger), and in various other ways is highly involved with them. She doesn't get paid; she just likes being a part of the lives of her sister and nephews. Is that so weird? They're her family. Sure, they're not as close family as if they were her own kids (genetically that is), but they're still close family. I wish I were more involved in the lives of my nieces and nephews, but it's simply not practical. Had it been, I would have liked to have been.
crazy people
Date: 2006-11-09 04:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 03:24 pm (UTC)And, traditionally, a maiden aunt's role was exactly this - and you are SUCH a blessing I am astonished people ever pushed an old-maid aunt to marry!!!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 03:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 03:42 am (UTC)Yeah, there is that. When my pay does come up, I explain that I have *no* expenses. Whatsoever.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 03:42 am (UTC)