conuly

I promise Im not hijacking this post. :) Im Lynn, ser_kai sent me over here to talk w/you about baby stuff.

To keep this simple, Im at mermaidnchains@gmail.com so we can exchange email there if you like. I also, but rarely, am on yahoo chat under the same name (mermaidnchains@yahoo.com).

I apriciate you taking the time to give me a heads up on what you liked. Thanks so much for volunteering!

~Lynn

From:

conuly

I'm not so good at chatting on email, but I definitely prefer it to chatting on yahoo - IMs make me jumpy.

I can't give advice unless I have a question to answer (I mean, I can, but I might talk all about the wrong thing!), so email me first with whatever seems relevant, and I'll do my best. Even if I don't know the answer, I can send you to the people who do. My email is conuly AT livejournal DOT com.

Or you can ask me here - it's not hijacking, promise :)

From:

Thanks for letting me babble at you. She was suggesting a sling for the baby, and that you had some suggestions on what works and doesnt.

For the record, Im a very busty woman, and the idea of some of those side slings seems dangerous - like Id smother a poor little one under a breast or something. No, I dont intend to breastfeed (medications I take would be bad).

Looking at those slings, it seems that they are either hard to put on, or difficult to move with the baby (all up in your face or - again - under my breast and smothered).

So, any suggestions, info you have would be wonderful!

Just as a side note, Im 5 months along, and just found out, so Im rushing to catch up on all the newest baby info out there. :)

Thanks again!

From:

conuly

Okay. I don't know what "very busty" means in this context - and your breasts will, I presume, only get bigger during pregnancy. For the record, I'm a D or DD cup, so I can say "this worked for me", but I don't know if that's relevant to you.

Wait. Before I do that, let me point out these links on "Plus sized baby wearing". I'm assuming that by "plus sized" they also mean "with accompanying bustage", so they should be helpful: One and two.

I've used three types of slings (not counting "ye old sheet trick"). I've used a ring sling, a mei-tai (mine looks better than this, I think), and a pair of kangas.

I wouldn't reccommend a kanga to you. They're pretty short, and they're not all that versatile. I like mine, but you can't use a lot of carrying positions, and for a newborn, that's not so good. No lying down. However, a kanga is a very short wrap, much like a rebozo.

So that leaves you with the mei-tai and the ring-sling. I *think* a ring-sling is what you mean when you say "side sling", right? If that's the case, there *may* be a way around that - a carrying position that won't increase the smothering risk. For example, it looks like the "vertical carry" here would have no smothering risk - but it's also not the most secure hold out there. You'd want to keep a hand on the baby with this hold, though you wouldn't be carrying their weight in your arm. I didn't get much use out of the ring sling, but the more research I do, the more I think that the brand of sling my sister had was just not very well-designed.

Alternatively, you might want to wait until the baby has good head control and can sit up a bit, and then move directly to back or hip carries. I showed you I use a mei-tai (on the front), those are easy to use on the back, though I find it uncomfortable on the side. Or a short wrap (like the rebozo I mentioned) or even a longer one can be used on the hip (no link here - I'll find one later if you need it).

If that's the only safety concern you've got, I hope I've helped. If you have more, you can ask me. Or you can ask here - they seem to know quite a bit, and to be pretty helpful.

If you don't mind me saying this so bluntly (and I hope not, I don't know another way to say it), I'm a bit concerned on another issue about the medication. I'm under the impression that if it's safe for pregnancy, it's safe for breastfeeding. Since I'm assuming you're not taking medication that's very unsafe for pregnancy, I'm wondering if you've considered all your options here. (This is, believe it or not, not an attack. It's just that if you're going "I wish I could nurse, but I can't" and really *do* wish you could nurse, from what I know, it may be possible that you can. And safely. Giving up needed medication is obviously unsafe, and I wouldn't suggest it if you paid me.) But it's not an issue I'm all that knowledgeable in, so I could be pretty wrong. Since you said you just found out, it occurs to me that you might actually not know this yet, though, and might not have done research into this yet.

I'm sorry this is so long! (And then off-topic at the end, which did seem rude, and unsolicited, but if it's something you want to do but think you can't, I suppose that's no problem.)

From:

very busty=big boobs

From:

conuly

Yes, I know. What I don't know is what she considers to be big boobs. A D cup? An F cup? I don't know. Heck, it's even possible that she just has a strange body image, though I doubt it. I don't really care about her breast size, that seems a bit personal, but there's a noticeable difference between a DDD and an F cup, I think.

From:

I wouldn't know. I'm just a B cup :-/. SO I dont know anything above that

From:

conuly

I may say something more helpful in the actual morning, too - it's past one here. Ick.

From:

Not sure if this helps at all, but the next time you hear this, you might suggest the person buy a betta (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siamese_fighting_fish) (Siamese Fighting Fish) instead. They can live happily in a bowl (unlike a goldfish), have a short lifespan (unlike a goldfish), and actually do "tricks" (unlike a goldfish). So it's an easy-to-care-for and interesting pet that the parent won't get saddled with caring for for endless years if the child becomes bored with it (which is generally the fear, and thus the parent's wish for a pet with a short lifespan).

From:

conuly

And "endless years" really means something when you're talking in the range of decades.

I understand the desire for a pet that, to be frank, dies fast. But I don't want a pet to die fast because it's being benevolently mistreated! Better to die fast because they just don't live very long.

From:

I definitely agree. I think most people just think they know how to keep a goldfish and that goldfish have naturally short lifespans -- so they never look into it they way they would if they were keeping an unfamiliar animal, or one they realized would require some work, like a dog.
They don't realize that the natural lifespan of a hamster (which the kid would probably enjoy more) is shorter than that of a goldfish.

From:

conuly

Hamsters are unsocial, nocturnal creatures, aren't they? I'm not seeing them as a good pet for a young kid either.

From:

mayna.livejournal.com

They're not, really. You have to spend a lot of time socializing them so they don't bite. Gerbils are jumpy but more friendly than hamsters (in fact, if your gerbil escapes, you can put sunflower seeds in your hands, and get down on the floor, and the gerbil will probably come out and come over to you). Mice make pretty good pets and aren't as unsociable as hamsters. (if you make sure and buy a male because it would suck to buy a female and have it already be pregnant like what happened to me when I was a kid).

I take the kids to the pet store to LOOK at the animals, but I wouldn't get them a pet until they were much older. (well, we have cats and a dog now anyways). Maybe ummm age 18. ;-)

From:

conuly

Mice are also nocturnal, and they're very social creatures - to the point where it's not nice to have just one mouse, you really should have mice. So you don't buy "a male", you buy "several mice of the same sex, preferably female because male mice can fight with each other".

Too many of my friends have non-standard pets.

From:

sayga.livejournal.com

we have a 4 year old betta and a 2 1/2 year old betta. i still don't think that's as short a lifespan as the parent in question was looking for. however, you're right on the tricks part; we had one that did do a trick: jump up to eat food from our fingers, and that was pretty entertaining.

From:

neurotica0.livejournal.com

I learned in my Environment and Humanity class that goldfish live for a long time if cared for even decently and when people get tired of them, they dump them into ponds/lakes, which is a very bad thing. Goldfish are very hardy and will outcompete the native fish and basically take over the whole body of water.

From:

sicpuppy.livejournal.com

Pfff, what twisted logic.
A dog will live for a month if you look after it poorly too :/

From:

I can atest to your statement. I have a friend who had a goldfish for like several years (the cat acciently got the fishie so it didnt live that long *frown*)! no matter what animal u have to tend to all of them.

From:

deceptica

I don't think you should get a pet just to teach a young child a lesson or provide entertainment anyway. Even the most low-maintenance pets I can think of still need care in ways a small child can't provide on his or her own, so in the end it's always the parent's responsibility anyway, no matter whether the child eventually "gets bored" with doing the simple things or not.

From:

leora.livejournal.com

I was really interested in getting a sugar glider after I saw one that was someone else's pet. I didn't really know the person and only got to interact a little bit. But they're amazingly cute and sweet.

Then I did the research... difficult care and you have to have at least two. They are miserable and die if alone with no others of their kind.

Not really well-suited to my needs for a pet. That's why if I do get a pet, I'm considering a chinchilla. Not as cute or soft, but still a sweet creature, and they're lower maintenance and hardy. They have finicky diets, but not that difficult. You basically have to just avoid giving them too many treats. And the females aren't prone to anything that looks too difficult. A much better fit.

I'm all for research. And even once you figured out the species you want, research the breeds if it's relevant. Research++

From:

adiva_calandia

We had a goldfish that lived over twelve years. She was a foot long and completely silver when she died, and I cried for a day over it. And this was just one of those feeder fish -- my older sister won her at the state fair before I was born.

Anyway, isn't getting a pet specifically so that it might die in a month kind of counter-intuitive in a child's pet? Teaching children about death is all well and good, but it seems unnecessarily cruel to put an opportunity like that in your path on purpose.

From:

conuly

That didn't seem to be her goal - her fear was that the young child would get bored fast, and nobody wants to be saddled taking care of another person's pet.

Unfortunately, goldfish only die "in months" when they're being mistreated.

From:

I promise Im not hijacking this post. :) Im Lynn, ser_kai sent me over here to talk w/you about baby stuff.

To keep this simple, Im at mermaidnchains@gmail.com so we can exchange email there if you like. I also, but rarely, am on yahoo chat under the same name (mermaidnchains@yahoo.com).

I apriciate you taking the time to give me a heads up on what you liked. Thanks so much for volunteering!

~Lynn

From:

conuly

I'm not so good at chatting on email, but I definitely prefer it to chatting on yahoo - IMs make me jumpy.

I can't give advice unless I have a question to answer (I mean, I can, but I might talk all about the wrong thing!), so email me first with whatever seems relevant, and I'll do my best. Even if I don't know the answer, I can send you to the people who do. My email is conuly AT livejournal DOT com.

Or you can ask me here - it's not hijacking, promise :)

From:

Thanks for letting me babble at you. She was suggesting a sling for the baby, and that you had some suggestions on what works and doesnt.

For the record, Im a very busty woman, and the idea of some of those side slings seems dangerous - like Id smother a poor little one under a breast or something. No, I dont intend to breastfeed (medications I take would be bad).

Looking at those slings, it seems that they are either hard to put on, or difficult to move with the baby (all up in your face or - again - under my breast and smothered).

So, any suggestions, info you have would be wonderful!

Just as a side note, Im 5 months along, and just found out, so Im rushing to catch up on all the newest baby info out there. :)

Thanks again!

From:

conuly

Okay. I don't know what "very busty" means in this context - and your breasts will, I presume, only get bigger during pregnancy. For the record, I'm a D or DD cup, so I can say "this worked for me", but I don't know if that's relevant to you.

Wait. Before I do that, let me point out these links on "Plus sized baby wearing". I'm assuming that by "plus sized" they also mean "with accompanying bustage", so they should be helpful: One and two.

I've used three types of slings (not counting "ye old sheet trick"). I've used a ring sling, a mei-tai (mine looks better than this, I think), and a pair of kangas.

I wouldn't reccommend a kanga to you. They're pretty short, and they're not all that versatile. I like mine, but you can't use a lot of carrying positions, and for a newborn, that's not so good. No lying down. However, a kanga is a very short wrap, much like a rebozo.

So that leaves you with the mei-tai and the ring-sling. I *think* a ring-sling is what you mean when you say "side sling", right? If that's the case, there *may* be a way around that - a carrying position that won't increase the smothering risk. For example, it looks like the "vertical carry" here would have no smothering risk - but it's also not the most secure hold out there. You'd want to keep a hand on the baby with this hold, though you wouldn't be carrying their weight in your arm. I didn't get much use out of the ring sling, but the more research I do, the more I think that the brand of sling my sister had was just not very well-designed.

Alternatively, you might want to wait until the baby has good head control and can sit up a bit, and then move directly to back or hip carries. I showed you I use a mei-tai (on the front), those are easy to use on the back, though I find it uncomfortable on the side. Or a short wrap (like the rebozo I mentioned) or even a longer one can be used on the hip (no link here - I'll find one later if you need it).

If that's the only safety concern you've got, I hope I've helped. If you have more, you can ask me. Or you can ask here - they seem to know quite a bit, and to be pretty helpful.

If you don't mind me saying this so bluntly (and I hope not, I don't know another way to say it), I'm a bit concerned on another issue about the medication. I'm under the impression that if it's safe for pregnancy, it's safe for breastfeeding. Since I'm assuming you're not taking medication that's very unsafe for pregnancy, I'm wondering if you've considered all your options here. (This is, believe it or not, not an attack. It's just that if you're going "I wish I could nurse, but I can't" and really *do* wish you could nurse, from what I know, it may be possible that you can. And safely. Giving up needed medication is obviously unsafe, and I wouldn't suggest it if you paid me.) But it's not an issue I'm all that knowledgeable in, so I could be pretty wrong. Since you said you just found out, it occurs to me that you might actually not know this yet, though, and might not have done research into this yet.

I'm sorry this is so long! (And then off-topic at the end, which did seem rude, and unsolicited, but if it's something you want to do but think you can't, I suppose that's no problem.)

From:

very busty=big boobs

From:

conuly

Yes, I know. What I don't know is what she considers to be big boobs. A D cup? An F cup? I don't know. Heck, it's even possible that she just has a strange body image, though I doubt it. I don't really care about her breast size, that seems a bit personal, but there's a noticeable difference between a DDD and an F cup, I think.

From:

I wouldn't know. I'm just a B cup :-/. SO I dont know anything above that

From:

conuly

I may say something more helpful in the actual morning, too - it's past one here. Ick.

From:

Not sure if this helps at all, but the next time you hear this, you might suggest the person buy a betta (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siamese_fighting_fish) (Siamese Fighting Fish) instead. They can live happily in a bowl (unlike a goldfish), have a short lifespan (unlike a goldfish), and actually do "tricks" (unlike a goldfish). So it's an easy-to-care-for and interesting pet that the parent won't get saddled with caring for for endless years if the child becomes bored with it (which is generally the fear, and thus the parent's wish for a pet with a short lifespan).

From:

conuly

And "endless years" really means something when you're talking in the range of decades.

I understand the desire for a pet that, to be frank, dies fast. But I don't want a pet to die fast because it's being benevolently mistreated! Better to die fast because they just don't live very long.

From:

I definitely agree. I think most people just think they know how to keep a goldfish and that goldfish have naturally short lifespans -- so they never look into it they way they would if they were keeping an unfamiliar animal, or one they realized would require some work, like a dog.
They don't realize that the natural lifespan of a hamster (which the kid would probably enjoy more) is shorter than that of a goldfish.

From:

conuly

Hamsters are unsocial, nocturnal creatures, aren't they? I'm not seeing them as a good pet for a young kid either.

From:

mayna.livejournal.com

They're not, really. You have to spend a lot of time socializing them so they don't bite. Gerbils are jumpy but more friendly than hamsters (in fact, if your gerbil escapes, you can put sunflower seeds in your hands, and get down on the floor, and the gerbil will probably come out and come over to you). Mice make pretty good pets and aren't as unsociable as hamsters. (if you make sure and buy a male because it would suck to buy a female and have it already be pregnant like what happened to me when I was a kid).

I take the kids to the pet store to LOOK at the animals, but I wouldn't get them a pet until they were much older. (well, we have cats and a dog now anyways). Maybe ummm age 18. ;-)

From:

conuly

Mice are also nocturnal, and they're very social creatures - to the point where it's not nice to have just one mouse, you really should have mice. So you don't buy "a male", you buy "several mice of the same sex, preferably female because male mice can fight with each other".

Too many of my friends have non-standard pets.

From:

sayga.livejournal.com

we have a 4 year old betta and a 2 1/2 year old betta. i still don't think that's as short a lifespan as the parent in question was looking for. however, you're right on the tricks part; we had one that did do a trick: jump up to eat food from our fingers, and that was pretty entertaining.

From:

neurotica0.livejournal.com

I learned in my Environment and Humanity class that goldfish live for a long time if cared for even decently and when people get tired of them, they dump them into ponds/lakes, which is a very bad thing. Goldfish are very hardy and will outcompete the native fish and basically take over the whole body of water.

From:

sicpuppy.livejournal.com

Pfff, what twisted logic.
A dog will live for a month if you look after it poorly too :/

From: