Oh, man.

[conuly]

Now that I'm not sitting on the bus anymore, this is the funniest thing.

I got off the boat, and immediately ran into 'dul and the kids, so I took the bus with them instead of my usual bus. They got one seat in the front (Ana got a seat, 'dul and baby stood - 'dul was offered a seat but turned it down), and I moved towards the back of the bus to sit.

It was a full up bus, but not exactly crowded.

Now, like most people, I don't like standing past the back door. I mean, I *will* if I have to, but I prefer not to. No real reason, I guess, I just don't like to.

So I get there, and I stand in front of a seat with a bag on it. A black woman (this becomes important. Well, to her, anyway....) with ugly-ass nails (this is unimportant, but I feel entitled to a little snottiness here) is rifling through the bag to find her phone. She looks at me. I look at her. She finds her phone and stares at me. I look at her.

Finally, the bus starts moving, and I have to ask...

Me: Ma'am? Can I sit down?
Bag: *gets moved, and put on her lap*
Me: *sits down* Thanks.

Simple, right? I'm not the most coordinated person. I can hold my balance on a bus, but I really prefer not to try if I don't have to. Asking for a seat, not that big a deal. Or so I thought....

Ugly Nails: Was my bag offending you?
Me: Uhh....?
UN: Because I was going to put it on the floor.
Me: Okay.
UN: Did it upset you that it was there or something?
My thoughts: Well, actually, now that you happen to mention it....
Me: Um....
UN: Because I was just getting my phone. I was going to put it down when it was done.
Me: Okay, ma'am. I wasn't upset....
Thoughts: Can you SHUT THE FUCK UP? This is a damn bus. Just leave me alone, 'k?
UN: Because you're not the seat police. I saw you glaring at me.
Me: No, I really wasn't...
UN: Yes you were. You were offended by me.
Me: No, but if it makes you feel better, I'm sorry....?
UN: Yes you were!
Me: Fine, whatever.

You'll note that thus far, I'd been taking the tack of being unflaggingly polite. This wasn't by intent - it's the result of modeling good behaviour for Ana all the time. Some of it's rubbing off. I didn't used to call people ma'am and sir all the time. It's just rubbed off. Damn it.

UN: Is that seat big enough for you?
Thoughts: Riiiight. Can you be any more obvious? Listen, not only do I not care about what I weigh, I care even less about what you think I weigh - or what you want me to think I weigh, anyway.
Me: Yes, thank you.
UN: Because that seat is pretty small.
Me: No, not really, thanks.
UN: I'd be embarrassed if I was you. I'd be embarrassed.
Me: (getting a little irritated - we hadn't even gotten anywhere yet!) Ma'am, if I acted like you, I'd be embarrassed too.
UN: NO I WOULDN'T! I'd be embarrassed at my weight. Because this seat is really too small for you. There's bigger seats back there. You didn't have to sit here.
(it goes on like this for a while)
Me: Ma'am, if you're so offended by my presence, maybe you could move back there.

OMG. You would've thought I'd asked her to slave away on my plantation for a few years.

UN: You think I'm gonna sit on the back of the bus? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Like I'm gonna sit on the back of the bus for you.
Thoughts: Okay, see, I didn't say that because you're black. I said that because you're annoying. And, in case you haven't noticed, we're already at the back of the bus.
Me: Ma'am, do I know you...? (As in, have I somehow spent my life pissing you off and you just never said anything until now, and let me tell you you picked a really bad time, this is a bus for crying out loud!)
UN: I don't think so. *blathering on*
Me: (turning to the guy next to me) Sir? Do you mind switching seats with me?
Guy next to me: *smiles, shakes head*
Me: Please?

And she just keeps talking about how I'm fat (pretty sure I'm not, if you're curious, and I find it frankly frightening that she just assumed this would be an effective tactic) and how I'm not the bus police, and how dare I suggest she sit on the back of the bus....

Finally, having moved through polite, to slight irritation, I decided on method 3 - making a bigger scene than she is.

Me: EXCUSE ME! DOES ANYBODY THINK I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAT HERE?

Naturally, yelling like this got three responses - a few people vaguelly made motions or sounds like they agreed with me, most people studiously ignored me, and, of course, the woman with the ugly nails decided to try my method...

UN: YEAH! Let's take a poll!

Unfortunately for her, she got even less support than I did.

She didn't actually shut up, but she switched to muttering under her breath about how she wasn't even going to waste her energy beating me up, and of course that's why she's a corrections officer, and on and on. When her muttering got loud enough, I oh-so-politely told her I hoped that whatever personal issues she was clearly experiencing would resolve themselves soon.

The next three minutes were actually silent. Blissfully so.

I had to reach around behind her to ring the bell. In so doing, I bumped into her. I swear to God, it was a total accident. But it was worth it for her complete and total lack of response. Hysterical, seriously.

Unlike some people, I really can't be bothered to be offended by her bad behaviour. If this were Ana's behaviour, I'd be both offended and embarrassed, but this woman is an adult, with (clearly) some serious issues of her own. I'm more baffled, a bit irritated, and (now that it's over) a lot amused. What a waste of energy on her part!

Comments

[aint2nuts.livejournal.com]

You should have said she belonged at the back of the bus because her ASS of an additude was bigger than your ass.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

WOW, bus!people can be stupid sometimes. D:

[peebs1701.livejournal.com]

UN: I'd be embarrassed if I was you. I'd be embarrassed.
Me: (getting a little irritated - we hadn't even gotten anywhere yet!) Ma'am, if I acted like you, I'd be embarrassed too.
pwned!

[deceptica]

Oh man, I wish I had your laid-back attitude when people act like that. Reminds me of that woman I met on a tram in February who started declaring to the train car at large that I must be "retarded" for not offering her a seat - and she never even said that she wanted my seat. I really wished I could have thought of a witty come-back at the time or laughed about it, but I was just pissed off at the woman's rudeness.

[conuly]

I was a bit pissed off at the time at having my bus ride disturbed, and I'm still thinking about it - it's clearly not completely sunshine and roses over here - but I refuse to let a little twit like that make me angry. Getting angry over stupid stuff doesn't seem to have made her any happier, and I try to learn from the mistakes of others.

[conuly]

Yeah. Pity she didn't shut up then - I only had a few pages left in my book, and I wanted to see how they nabbed the killer!

[conuly]

*snickers*

That would've made things worse, though, not better - she would've turned that into another racist comment. What I *should* have done (and didn't) is pointed out that there was a free seat further up in the front of the bus - if she was willing to ask the woman there to move her bags.

[conuly]

Damn straight.

[sparkofcreation.livejournal.com]

I was once riding the train to work (and mind you, this is the NJ Transit Northeast Corridor train that gets to New York City at 8:40... in other words, if you have a seat, you're really lucky) and this girl behind me was talking on her cell phone and had her bag on the seat. And at the next stop, someone asked her if she could sit there. And this girl hung up her call, moved her bag (apparently she had her breakfast on her lap, coffee in one hand, cell in the other), called the person back, and spent the entire rest of the trip (to Newark, at least, which was where I got off) complaining about how this person had the audacity to ask her to move her bag and now she had no room for her feet (in her ... not defense exactly ... but the last seat in the car is smaller, both less wide and also since the back is completely vertical, it feels like you have to sit farther forward, hard to explain but true; so on a less crowded train, normally no one would sit next to you if you sat in the last seat—but not on a commuter train, obviously). (Apparently the overhead luggage rack was broken or something?) And people were glaring at her, so then as we were pulling into Newark she switched to complaining about how everyone was giving her dirty looks!

[conuly]

*giggles*

Wonder what the person on the other end thought of this?

[adina77.livejournal.com]

I forgot to tell you this when I was over at the house. I've had many occasions where people were snippy with an attitude with me on a bus. Its funny and frusterated at the same time. You should of mentioned to her well if its a full bus you need to give up the bag's seat so a person can sit down if they wish to do so :P. And mention on a train it would be a hefty fine.

Ok, I'll give you a ring or your mom in the morning for beach time!

[steelbrassnwood.livejournal.com]

Very funny story. But honestly, I would have gotten up and moved -- she's obviously disturbed and you could end up as a tabloid headline being emailed around. You were 1000% in the right, I'm just saying you never know, and this seems to me to be way beyond bad behavior, well into wacko territory.

[conuly]

There was nowhere to move - and on a crowded bus, I doubt anything was going to happen. I tend to find that people with her sort of attitude will talk and talk and talk until you want to scream, in the hopes of intimidating you. But they never do anything about it.

And it's like a child with a tantrum - if you let them get away with it now, they'll keep on doing it. Can't live my life that way. It is, in the words I use with my niece, absolutely unacceptable.

[conuly]

The difference, I guess, is how they start off - if she'd started out threatening me, I probably would have moved (though in cases like this, the person in question may follow you if they actually intend harm). But she started off making snide comments about my weight. That's generally a sign that nothing's gonna happen if you wait it out.

[steelbrassnwood.livejournal.com]

Well, there's always somewhere out of reach to go. And a crazy person does not care if the bus was crowded; Kendra Webdale was not standing on an empty platform when that loonie pushed her in front of the train. With a sharpened pencil, someone can make your day really really bad before anyone else even knows what's happening.

And as far as "letting them get away with it"? Come on. This is not your child. This is someone you will never see again, and if they were well-enough balanced to understand cause and effect, they wouldnt' be behaving like that in the first place.

[steelbrassnwood.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's probably true. I personally would rather not deal with someone like that.

[conuly]

I may see her again, I ride this bus often to get to my sister's house.

And I honestly don't know what was causing her to act like this. I know I've had times where my behaviour was completely irrational, but that's not how I normally act - and I'm better off for not having people just sit there and let me push them around if I do so. Maybe she just found out she's dying of cancer. Maybe she has a really bad itch. Maybe she's at a bad stage in bipolar disorder. Who knows? We assume it's a permanent condition, but it doesn't have to be.

[conuly]

Yeah, well, once you sit down in that seat, even moving - you're stuck dealing with a person like that.

Believe me, had I known, I would've picked a different seat. ANY seat....

[(Anonymous)]

Hi, I found this entry because mus_sapiens linked to it.

I just wanted to say it reminded me of this incident that happened on a bus I was on:

There was 1 seat left, between somebody I will refer to as BFB (for Big Fat Bitch) and the wall of the bus. That's right, BFB took the aisle seat, blocking anybody else from taking the other seat. In the seat behind her was TVV (Tough Vietnam Veteran, I don't know if he was really a Vietnam vet but he certainly looked like he might be one)

Anyway, bus stops, SOL (Sweet Old Lady) gets on. SOL sees that the one remaining seat is next to BFB.

SOL: Excuse me, can you move over so I can sit down?
BFB: FUCK OFF! Why do I always have to give up my seat?
TVV: Because you're a fat bitch who takes up two seats and swears at old ladies?

BFB turned to yell at TVV but after taking one look at him, thought better of it. She was about to move over, but instead TVV gave up his seat.

[conuly]

Oh, that's too good :)

[aint2nuts.livejournal.com]

You should have said she belonged at the back of the bus because her ASS of an additude was bigger than your ass.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

WOW, bus!people can be stupid sometimes. D:

[peebs1701.livejournal.com]

UN: I'd be embarrassed if I was you. I'd be embarrassed.
Me: (getting a little irritated - we hadn't even gotten anywhere yet!) Ma'am, if I acted like you, I'd be embarrassed too.
pwned!

[deceptica]

Oh man, I wish I had your laid-back attitude when people act like that. Reminds me of that woman I met on a tram in February who started declaring to the train car at large that I must be "retarded" for not offering her a seat - and she never even said that she wanted my seat. I really wished I could have thought of a witty come-back at the time or laughed about it, but I was just pissed off at the woman's rudeness.

[conuly]

I was a bit pissed off at the time at having my bus ride disturbed, and I'm still thinking about it - it's clearly not completely sunshine and roses over here - but I refuse to let a little twit like that make me angry. Getting angry over stupid stuff doesn't seem to have made her any happier, and I try to learn from the mistakes of others.

[conuly]

Yeah. Pity she didn't shut up then - I only had a few pages left in my book, and I wanted to see how they nabbed the killer!

[conuly]

*snickers*

That would've made things worse, though, not better - she would've turned that into another racist comment. What I *should* have done (and didn't) is pointed out that there was a free seat further up in the front of the bus - if she was willing to ask the woman there to move her bags.

[conuly]

Damn straight.

[sparkofcreation.livejournal.com]

I was once riding the train to work (and mind you, this is the NJ Transit Northeast Corridor train that gets to New York City at 8:40... in other words, if you have a seat, you're really lucky) and this girl behind me was talking on her cell phone and had her bag on the seat. And at the next stop, someone asked her if she could sit there. And this girl hung up her call, moved her bag (apparently she had her breakfast on her lap, coffee in one hand, cell in the other), called the person back, and spent the entire rest of the trip (to Newark, at least, which was where I got off) complaining about how this person had the audacity to ask her to move her bag and now she had no room for her feet (in her ... not defense exactly ... but the last seat in the car is smaller, both less wide and also since the back is completely vertical, it feels like you have to sit farther forward, hard to explain but true; so on a less crowded train, normally no one would sit next to you if you sat in the last seat—but not on a commuter train, obviously). (Apparently the overhead luggage rack was broken or something?) And people were glaring at her, so then as we were pulling into Newark she switched to complaining about how everyone was giving her dirty looks!

[conuly]

*giggles*

Wonder what the person on the other end thought of this?

[adina77.livejournal.com]

I forgot to tell you this when I was over at the house. I've had many occasions where people were snippy with an attitude with me on a bus. Its funny and frusterated at the same time. You should of mentioned to her well if its a full bus you need to give up the bag's seat so a person can sit down if they wish to do so :P. And mention on a train it would be a hefty fine.

Ok, I'll give you a ring or your mom in the morning for beach time!

[(Anonymous)]

Very funny story. But honestly, I would have gotten up and moved -- she's obviously disturbed and you could end up as a tabloid headline being emailed around. You were 1000% in the right, I'm just saying you never know, and this seems to me to be way beyond bad behavior, well into wacko territory.

[conuly]

There was nowhere to move - and on a crowded bus, I doubt anything was going to happen. I tend to find that people with her sort of attitude will talk and talk and talk until you want to scream, in the hopes of intimidating you. But they never do anything about it.

And it's like a child with a tantrum - if you let them get away with it now, they'll keep on doing it. Can't live my life that way. It is, in the words I use with my niece, absolutely unacceptable.

[conuly]

The difference, I guess, is how they start off - if she'd started out threatening me, I probably would have moved (though in cases like this, the person in question may follow you if they actually intend harm). But she started off making snide comments about my weight. That's generally a sign that nothing's gonna happen if you wait it out.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, there's always somewhere out of reach to go. And a crazy person does not care if the bus was crowded; Kendra Webdale was not standing on an empty platform when that loonie pushed her in front of the train. With a sharpened pencil, someone can make your day really really bad before anyone else even knows what's happening.

And as far as "letting them get away with it"? Come on. This is not your child. This is someone you will never see again, and if they were well-enough balanced to understand cause and effect, they wouldnt' be behaving like that in the first place.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, that's probably true. I personally would rather not deal with someone like that.

[conuly]

I may see her again, I ride this bus often to get to my sister's house.

And I honestly don't know what was causing her to act like this. I know I've had times where my behaviour was completely irrational, but that's not how I normally act - and I'm better off for not having people just sit there and let me push them around if I do so. Maybe she just found out she's dying of cancer. Maybe she has a really bad itch. Maybe she's at a bad stage in bipolar disorder. Who knows? We assume it's a permanent condition, but it doesn't have to be.

[conuly]

Yeah, well, once you sit down in that seat, even moving - you're stuck dealing with a person like that.

Believe me, had I known, I would've picked a different seat. ANY seat....

[edible-hat.livejournal.com]

Hi, I found this entry because mus_sapiens linked to it.

I just wanted to say it reminded me of this incident that happened on a bus I was on:

There was 1 seat left, between somebody I will refer to as BFB (for Big Fat Bitch) and the wall of the bus. That's right, BFB took the aisle seat, blocking anybody else from taking the other seat. In the seat behind her was TVV (Tough Vietnam Veteran, I don't know if he was really a Vietnam vet but he certainly looked like he might be one)

Anyway, bus stops, SOL (Sweet Old Lady) gets on. SOL sees that the one remaining seat is next to BFB.

SOL: Excuse me, can you move over so I can sit down?
BFB: FUCK OFF! Why do I always have to give up my seat?
TVV: Because you're a fat bitch who takes up two seats and swears at old ladies?

BFB turned to yell at TVV but after taking one look at him, thought better of it. She was about to move over, but instead TVV gave up his seat.

[conuly]

Oh, that's too good :)