I had a revelation today while doing my shopping....

[conuly]

I was looking at bagels (I scream, you scream, we all scream for bagels, right?) when it occured to me, in a flash of inspiration, to check the ingredient list for Everything bagels.

Let's see... hm... there's poppy seeds, and sesame seeds, and onion, and garlic, and... uh... what else? What popular (EVIL!) bagel topping is conspicuous by its very absence?

That's right! The everything bagel contains neither cinnamon nor raisins. That's because the cinnamon raisin bagel is an anathema to all right-minded bagel eaters everywhere. It is of the devil, and it has no place in the pantheon of bagel flavors. Eat it at your own risk - if you're EVIL. Seriously, wouldn't you prefer a nice onion bagel, or a bialy? One cannot put lox, after all, on the sickly sweet (and EVIL!) cinnamon raisin bagel (well, one hopes one wouldn't do such a thing. I feel nauseated just thinking about it!), nor onions.

Cinnamon raisin bagels. They're just wrong.

_{AND EVIL!}

Comments

[xiggaroo.livejournal.com]

A bagel shouldn't be SWEET. Muffins? Donuts? Sure. But bagels??

No.

[conuly]

Exactly.

*hugs*

How you doing? I meant to comment to your much earlier entries, but I couldn't find the words. I was actually mad at myself for something similar, and it was coming out in every response I wrote to you. I'm sorry.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Blessings!

Granted, I'm biased against anything raisin by default, but still! There are some things that just ought not ever be added to baked goods.

[conuly]

Hear, hear.

Especially not when said baked goods are bagels.

[demonkoala.livejournal.com]

You forgot blueberries.

I don't like sweets and breads. That's something China taught me.

[conuly]

Blueberries are so evil, I don't think I need to remind people of that fact.

No sweet breads? What about challah? That's nummalicious.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Some fruit bagels are wonderful things. Raisins IMO should occaionally go in cookies and oatmeal, in small doses for mincemeat, and very-few-if-any other places.

[conuly]

Fruit bagels are also evil. I weep for you.

[ladyshrew.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but before you go off against bagels being sweet--chocolate chip bagels with hazelnut cream cheese. MMMMM.

But then, I really think you always have to make exceptions for chocolate.

Besides, if you can have raison bread, I'm not sure it's totally illegal to have raisin bagels. Granted, I'd prefer raison bread.

[conuly]

The pantheon of the bagel is a closed pantheon, and is not accepting new members at this time. You'll have to show up with your heathen chips at some later date, thank you.

I don't have to make exceptions for anything. If it breaks into my mind to add chocolate to my bagels, I can use Nutella.

And raisin bread is icky. Not evil, just icky, mihi.

[ex-chaos-by-699.livejournal.com]

I'd agree, mostly because I don't like raisins. And I consider bagels to be a 'savory' food, so it's inappropriate for them to be sweet (this is a food issue of mine).

[conuly]

It's not a "food issue" when you're absolutely correct :)

It's hardly your fault that the sillies have caught onto the bagel concept and done it ALL WRONG.

[xxrosencrantzxx.livejournal.com]

I am in 100% agreement with you on this issue. If it were up to me, raisins would be banished from the whole spectrum of bread-foods.

[joeymew.livejournal.com]

I agree with you completely. Give me a good onion and poppyseed bagel anytime. Though I can never find lox. I want to find lox though.

[marveen.livejournal.com]

I love onion bagels, but I wish they would quit putting the @#$%! poppyseeds in with the onion. (I may be subject to random drug tests at any time as a condition of my continued employment, so I can't have poppyseeds. Even though I love lemon poppyseed cake.)

[adiva_calandia]

I . . . like cinnamon-raisin bagels, actually.

I think this is because I have trouble with bagels in general (unless they're fresh. Few breads are tastier than a fresh bagel. Few things are harder to force down than a day-old bagel), and having something sweet makes them more palatable for me.

Won't deny how evil this makes me. ;)

[lordalfredhenry.livejournal.com]

Same problem with chocolate chip bagels. Rly.

[dr-graffenberg.livejournal.com]

raisins are just stale grapes. so yeah, they are the devil.

[failstoexist.livejournal.com]

haha I just imagined an everything bagel with cinnamon and raisins....that would be completely disgusting! I hate raisins, so I don't like them. The only weird bagel I've ever had that I liked was a french toast bagel. mmmmm french toast.

[xmorningxrosex.livejournal.com]

heh, my fav bagel is cinnamon raisin swirl, followed by fresh blueberry ones, then wheat, then plain. i wouldn't touch any other kind. and especially not anything with garlic or onion. i don't want icky breath in the morning! and the veg types don't need to worry about what lox goes with anyway! :)

[eofs.livejournal.com]

Oh how fortunate I am to live in a country where such a problem would never come up as the vile product (ie, bagels) is barely available.

The only bagel I can remember being able to eat in the US was honey and raisin. I distinctly remember that. The rest were horrible. Yuck.

(Nothing aggravates me more in HP fics than characters walking into an average bakery and casually buying a single bagel. Well, I suppose some things do. Like characters getting served in pubs, or the Hogwarts students graduating.)

[conuly]

That's because you've been unfortunate enough not to have real bagels, no doubt - only icky prepackaged fake kinds. It's not your fault. I pity you.

[feralkoala.livejournal.com]

So...are you ever coming back to Neocolours? We've been so lost without you that they even resorted to making me a mod. :(

[conuly]

Uh... maybe?

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're making me envious! They don't even know what bagels are in this part of the country. (Washington DC has really lousy food. Baltimore's is better, but it's still not like New York.) And don't even get me started on what they call pizza here ... not to mention the total absence of even ersatz knishes!

I used to have friends in Brooklyn who would come down to visit once in awhile and bring me real bagels and real lox (they have something called "smoked salmon" here ... :-Þ ). But we fell out of touch and I haven't had a decent bagel in years.

[xiggaroo.livejournal.com]

A bagel shouldn't be SWEET. Muffins? Donuts? Sure. But bagels??

No.

[conuly]

Exactly.

*hugs*

How you doing? I meant to comment to your much earlier entries, but I couldn't find the words. I was actually mad at myself for something similar, and it was coming out in every response I wrote to you. I'm sorry.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Blessings!

Granted, I'm biased against anything raisin by default, but still! There are some things that just ought not ever be added to baked goods.

[conuly]

Hear, hear.

Especially not when said baked goods are bagels.

[demonkoala.livejournal.com]

You forgot blueberries.

I don't like sweets and breads. That's something China taught me.

[conuly]

Blueberries are so evil, I don't think I need to remind people of that fact.

No sweet breads? What about challah? That's nummalicious.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Some fruit bagels are wonderful things. Raisins IMO should occaionally go in cookies and oatmeal, in small doses for mincemeat, and very-few-if-any other places.

[conuly]

Fruit bagels are also evil. I weep for you.

[ladyshrew.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but before you go off against bagels being sweet--chocolate chip bagels with hazelnut cream cheese. MMMMM.

But then, I really think you always have to make exceptions for chocolate.

Besides, if you can have raison bread, I'm not sure it's totally illegal to have raisin bagels. Granted, I'd prefer raison bread.

[conuly]

The pantheon of the bagel is a closed pantheon, and is not accepting new members at this time. You'll have to show up with your heathen chips at some later date, thank you.

I don't have to make exceptions for anything. If it breaks into my mind to add chocolate to my bagels, I can use Nutella.

And raisin bread is icky. Not evil, just icky, mihi.

[ex-chaos-by-699.livejournal.com]

I'd agree, mostly because I don't like raisins. And I consider bagels to be a 'savory' food, so it's inappropriate for them to be sweet (this is a food issue of mine).

[conuly]

It's not a "food issue" when you're absolutely correct :)

It's hardly your fault that the sillies have caught onto the bagel concept and done it ALL WRONG.

[xxrosencrantzxx.livejournal.com]

I am in 100% agreement with you on this issue. If it were up to me, raisins would be banished from the whole spectrum of bread-foods.

[joeymew.livejournal.com]

I agree with you completely. Give me a good onion and poppyseed bagel anytime. Though I can never find lox. I want to find lox though.

[marveen.livejournal.com]

I love onion bagels, but I wish they would quit putting the @#$%! poppyseeds in with the onion. (I may be subject to random drug tests at any time as a condition of my continued employment, so I can't have poppyseeds. Even though I love lemon poppyseed cake.)

[adiva_calandia]

I . . . like cinnamon-raisin bagels, actually.

I think this is because I have trouble with bagels in general (unless they're fresh. Few breads are tastier than a fresh bagel. Few things are harder to force down than a day-old bagel), and having something sweet makes them more palatable for me.

Won't deny how evil this makes me. ;)