Hey 'dul. *hugs* I am sorry.
Jan. 21st, 2004 01:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
Especially as you're right, so I can't even feel indignant. *sighs*
Anyway, Jenn suggested (or you did, but I heard it through Jenn) that I apologise on Livejournal because it's easier than in person, especially as I don't anticipate seeing you for a little while (and I already haven't seen you for a while) so here I am, coming up with an apology. After thinking about it, I decided the best way to do this would be just to say what I'm sorry for, and why that is, making this rather like one of those homework assignments where you write "I will not something" a million times. While that lacks the heartfelt emotional appeal of a simple "I'm very sorry and will you please forgive me", it's a lot more useful for me, in the long run. And it seems more thoughtful for you, I hope.
1. Yeah, I should've made the bed. I honestly didn't know this was upsetting you so much, though. I wish you'd said something before all this, then I wouldn't've been messing up. Anyway, now I know, and will almost certainly not make the same mistake again. The only way I can see that happening is if I were trying to piss you off, but I don't think that's likely. Similarly, I really should've cleaned up after Mommy, because sticking you with that isn't being a good guest. And if I'd done that, I wouldn't've left the check.
2. I should've done the dishes too. Yes, I did the dishes that'd been in the sink already, but that's not the point. And I knew that then, too, but I used "I'm in a bad mood" as an excuse to forget, which is a pity, as that's not a good excuse. It is, in fact, a bad excuse. If somebody did that to me, I think they'd regret it really fast, and not for the emotional reasons I'm regretting doing that to you, so it's especially unfair, and I'm sorry. Doing the dishes does involve more of the kitchen than the dishes, but any lapses there are accidental rather than badmoodforgetful.
3. I'm also sorry for not making sure you knew I was leaving. That was pure stupidity on my part, since I know that door doesn't lock behind me. I mean, I did tell you, but a little bit of thought would've made me tell you again until you got up. Or said something. Or whatever.
4. *thinks* I'm sorry SORRY for fighting with Mommy and Jenn, but that's more a Jenn apology than a 'dul apology, since you weren't involved.
5. More generally, I meant to apologise sooner, but I wasn't there, and apologies over the phone never work out well... I always feel like either crying or giggling, and while the first sounds like a manipulative plea for sympathy, the second is just rude.
I'm pretty sure that's it. If there's other things, I'm very vaguely sorry for upsetting you, but I either didn't know I'd messed up or don't know it now, and therefore don't specifically feel sorry for them. You'd have to tell me what I've done or not done so I can modify my behavior in the future.
Anyway, Jenn suggested (or you did, but I heard it through Jenn) that I apologise on Livejournal because it's easier than in person, especially as I don't anticipate seeing you for a little while (and I already haven't seen you for a while) so here I am, coming up with an apology. After thinking about it, I decided the best way to do this would be just to say what I'm sorry for, and why that is, making this rather like one of those homework assignments where you write "I will not something" a million times. While that lacks the heartfelt emotional appeal of a simple "I'm very sorry and will you please forgive me", it's a lot more useful for me, in the long run. And it seems more thoughtful for you, I hope.
1. Yeah, I should've made the bed. I honestly didn't know this was upsetting you so much, though. I wish you'd said something before all this, then I wouldn't've been messing up. Anyway, now I know, and will almost certainly not make the same mistake again. The only way I can see that happening is if I were trying to piss you off, but I don't think that's likely. Similarly, I really should've cleaned up after Mommy, because sticking you with that isn't being a good guest. And if I'd done that, I wouldn't've left the check.
2. I should've done the dishes too. Yes, I did the dishes that'd been in the sink already, but that's not the point. And I knew that then, too, but I used "I'm in a bad mood" as an excuse to forget, which is a pity, as that's not a good excuse. It is, in fact, a bad excuse. If somebody did that to me, I think they'd regret it really fast, and not for the emotional reasons I'm regretting doing that to you, so it's especially unfair, and I'm sorry. Doing the dishes does involve more of the kitchen than the dishes, but any lapses there are accidental rather than badmoodforgetful.
3. I'm also sorry for not making sure you knew I was leaving. That was pure stupidity on my part, since I know that door doesn't lock behind me. I mean, I did tell you, but a little bit of thought would've made me tell you again until you got up. Or said something. Or whatever.
4. *thinks* I'm sorry SORRY for fighting with Mommy and Jenn, but that's more a Jenn apology than a 'dul apology, since you weren't involved.
5. More generally, I meant to apologise sooner, but I wasn't there, and apologies over the phone never work out well... I always feel like either crying or giggling, and while the first sounds like a manipulative plea for sympathy, the second is just rude.
I'm pretty sure that's it. If there's other things, I'm very vaguely sorry for upsetting you, but I either didn't know I'd messed up or don't know it now, and therefore don't specifically feel sorry for them. You'd have to tell me what I've done or not done so I can modify my behavior in the future.
