What do you do...
Mar. 28th, 2006 12:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
When you want to tell somebody they've been mildly offensive without offending them? Because this person didn't mean to offend, and you like them, and anyway it's not your cause to champion... but they've been offensive and you want to tell them. People shouldn't be saying things that are accidentally offensive.
And what if it's not offensive to the people whom it refers to? What if I've got the wrong end of the stick here? (Pretty sure I don't, but I've been a bit quick to irritate lately, if you haven't noticed....)
Hm.
I think I'll start by asking: would you mind if I told you you'd said something offensive?
If the person in question replies "no", I can go on to asking advice from people who know more about the specific subject at hand.
(And yes I know this is maddeningly vague. It's supposed to be. I don't want the person in question guessing, unlike most of the times when people say "IF YOU DO SUCH AND FUCH I WON'T BE YOUR FRIEND!" and everyone thinks it's them *but* the person it really is. I don't know how to do that without 1. making a special filter to exclude this person or 2. being maddeningly vague. Suggestions on this would also be appreciated. Odds are it's not you, anyway, because it's only one person out of my huge friends list. And... it's nobody I know in person, so those of you can breathe easily.)
And please comment if you have an opinion on being corrected for offensiveness. This'd be really helpful to me. For seriously offensive things, I don't care what you think (and may even recruit others to help drive the point home), for minor things.... I don't want to drag up the energy for an argument every time somebody says something off.
And please recall that I'm not upset, just... The post/comment in question (that's an or so you don't think it's one or the other) illustrates some serious misconceptions... I hate it when people are wrong.
And what if it's not offensive to the people whom it refers to? What if I've got the wrong end of the stick here? (Pretty sure I don't, but I've been a bit quick to irritate lately, if you haven't noticed....)
Hm.
I think I'll start by asking: would you mind if I told you you'd said something offensive?
If the person in question replies "no", I can go on to asking advice from people who know more about the specific subject at hand.
(And yes I know this is maddeningly vague. It's supposed to be. I don't want the person in question guessing, unlike most of the times when people say "IF YOU DO SUCH AND FUCH I WON'T BE YOUR FRIEND!" and everyone thinks it's them *but* the person it really is. I don't know how to do that without 1. making a special filter to exclude this person or 2. being maddeningly vague. Suggestions on this would also be appreciated. Odds are it's not you, anyway, because it's only one person out of my huge friends list. And... it's nobody I know in person, so those of you can breathe easily.)
And please comment if you have an opinion on being corrected for offensiveness. This'd be really helpful to me. For seriously offensive things, I don't care what you think (and may even recruit others to help drive the point home), for minor things.... I don't want to drag up the energy for an argument every time somebody says something off.
And please recall that I'm not upset, just... The post/comment in question (that's an or so you don't think it's one or the other) illustrates some serious misconceptions... I hate it when people are wrong.
