On today...
Aug. 19th, 2005 07:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
What a tragedy of errors it was. First, I leave the house - forgetting my phone, my books, and the bag with more than one diaper in it. Luckily (or not), Ana pooped when we'd just gotten on the bus, so I realized my error by the time we reached the boat. Had to buy new diapers. This made us late for the toddler program at the museum, so I just went "screw it" and we wandered around. (Tangent - Wednesday, I met an Australian who was going to volunteer at the Children's museum, and she said they had nothing like it in Australia, not a single children's museum in the entire country. This can't be true, can it?)
Edit: Actually, missing the toddler program isn't that bad a thing. It's always loud, and there's all those people (not just short ones, which would be preferable, as they don't expect much of you), and I never know how to talk to them or to politely not talk to them. And they're all so chatty with their kids, and it annoys me. I didn't like that sort of attitude towards me when I was a kid, and I don't like it now. Sometimes, you just want to play with the toy kitchen without having a running narrative from your partner. And then, sometimes, Ana will do something she's not supposed to, like snatch a toy, and I'll give it back to get an "that's all right". No, it's not all right, she can't snatch toys, and you know it, so why lie? Or another kid will snatch a toy and be told "isn't it nice to share? Don't you want to share?" I don't get it. The kid clearly doesn't want to share, so why not just say "She had it first, give it back?" and leave it at that? That's easier than the sugar-sweet "let's share!" talk.
I have a whole 'nother rant on this one. End edit.
Then, it was rainy, so we didn't get to eat outside, we just left. This was probably just as well, as Ana fell asleep as soon as she got home. However, since we'd gone to her home instead of 'dul's, this lead to another problem - how to get Ana home when I don't have a metrocard? I didn't feel like taking a half-hour walk in the rain with her. And I fought with my mom. She has the worst timing. Who calls right when you're pouring pasta from the pot into the strainer? And no drums tonight, because of the rain and the bad moods.
*sighs*
Interesting thing, though. On one of the busses we were on (I had change for exactly two fares), we were sitting next to a blind man. (That's another interesting thing, he deliberately sat in the seat opposite the one people normally sit in who are blind, using a cane, or determined to talk to the driver.) And I guess his eyes were closed under his glasses (Ana had her own seat, so she was right next to him, while I was next to her), because Ana kept pointing at him and asking me if he was asleep.
After the third repetition of this (that is, the third time she said it, which probably makes it only the second repetition - it's kinda like how the Romans are purported to have counted, right? The day before the Kalends is the day before the Kalends, but the day before that is three days before the Kalends) I started to realize why, exactly, some parents frantically shush their very young children for saying such things like "Why can't he walk?" or "Wow, his cane folds up" (incidentally, that was very cool. It takes very little to amaze me, and the folding cane of DOOM - I mean, blindness - no, I mean DOOM because DOOM is cooler - anyway, that was really really really cool).
And I already consciously understood why that happens. You're Not Supposed To Draw Attention to These Things, the things hopefully being differences and not the people themselves. Except it sounds a lot like that thing I often complain about, Person First Language. That's supposed to avoid "putting the disability first", except that by its very nature it simultaneously draws more attention to the disability and makes the disability out to be something horrible and shameful.
Frantically shushing a little kid who is curious about the chair, or the cool folding cane of doom (hey, it was cool) doesn't stop them from drawing attention to the difference - it just highlights both the difference and the fact that you're not supposed to talk about it.
Naturally, we should reasonably tell off people who don't just ask questions but ask horribly rude questions (how do you have sex in that thing?), or who say ridiculously insulting things (look at the retard), but I'm wondering if the normal questions are as bad as all that.
I may be wrong. It may be that most people would rather not hear those sorts of questions, from anyone. If that's the case, I'm on it. I shall work to educate Ana! And myself!
Or I might not be, in which case the question is: What is appropriate? Is there a difference between a reasonable question from a seven-year-old (how does that work?) and the same question from an adult? It doesn't have to restrict itself to disability.
Edit: Actually, missing the toddler program isn't that bad a thing. It's always loud, and there's all those people (not just short ones, which would be preferable, as they don't expect much of you), and I never know how to talk to them or to politely not talk to them. And they're all so chatty with their kids, and it annoys me. I didn't like that sort of attitude towards me when I was a kid, and I don't like it now. Sometimes, you just want to play with the toy kitchen without having a running narrative from your partner. And then, sometimes, Ana will do something she's not supposed to, like snatch a toy, and I'll give it back to get an "that's all right". No, it's not all right, she can't snatch toys, and you know it, so why lie? Or another kid will snatch a toy and be told "isn't it nice to share? Don't you want to share?" I don't get it. The kid clearly doesn't want to share, so why not just say "She had it first, give it back?" and leave it at that? That's easier than the sugar-sweet "let's share!" talk.
I have a whole 'nother rant on this one. End edit.
Then, it was rainy, so we didn't get to eat outside, we just left. This was probably just as well, as Ana fell asleep as soon as she got home. However, since we'd gone to her home instead of 'dul's, this lead to another problem - how to get Ana home when I don't have a metrocard? I didn't feel like taking a half-hour walk in the rain with her. And I fought with my mom. She has the worst timing. Who calls right when you're pouring pasta from the pot into the strainer? And no drums tonight, because of the rain and the bad moods.
*sighs*
Interesting thing, though. On one of the busses we were on (I had change for exactly two fares), we were sitting next to a blind man. (That's another interesting thing, he deliberately sat in the seat opposite the one people normally sit in who are blind, using a cane, or determined to talk to the driver.) And I guess his eyes were closed under his glasses (Ana had her own seat, so she was right next to him, while I was next to her), because Ana kept pointing at him and asking me if he was asleep.
After the third repetition of this (that is, the third time she said it, which probably makes it only the second repetition - it's kinda like how the Romans are purported to have counted, right? The day before the Kalends is the day before the Kalends, but the day before that is three days before the Kalends) I started to realize why, exactly, some parents frantically shush their very young children for saying such things like "Why can't he walk?" or "Wow, his cane folds up" (incidentally, that was very cool. It takes very little to amaze me, and the folding cane of DOOM - I mean, blindness - no, I mean DOOM because DOOM is cooler - anyway, that was really really really cool).
And I already consciously understood why that happens. You're Not Supposed To Draw Attention to These Things, the things hopefully being differences and not the people themselves. Except it sounds a lot like that thing I often complain about, Person First Language. That's supposed to avoid "putting the disability first", except that by its very nature it simultaneously draws more attention to the disability and makes the disability out to be something horrible and shameful.
Frantically shushing a little kid who is curious about the chair, or the cool folding cane of doom (hey, it was cool) doesn't stop them from drawing attention to the difference - it just highlights both the difference and the fact that you're not supposed to talk about it.
Naturally, we should reasonably tell off people who don't just ask questions but ask horribly rude questions (how do you have sex in that thing?), or who say ridiculously insulting things (look at the retard), but I'm wondering if the normal questions are as bad as all that.
I may be wrong. It may be that most people would rather not hear those sorts of questions, from anyone. If that's the case, I'm on it. I shall work to educate Ana! And myself!
Or I might not be, in which case the question is: What is appropriate? Is there a difference between a reasonable question from a seven-year-old (how does that work?) and the same question from an adult? It doesn't have to restrict itself to disability.
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 12:34 am (UTC)I actually had an encounter today with a little boy who wanted to know about my cane (I was using the non-folding one). I'm not sure precisely how old he was, I'm not a very good judge of that, but he was small enough to fit in the kiddie seat of a shopping cart. I said my eyes didn't work right and that the cane helped me not bump into things when I walked around, which seemed to satisfy his curiosity. I'm never really sure how to explain these things to children. I know how *I* would have liked to have had it explained, but I was a pretty weird kid so that isn't a good guideline. The only questions that annoy me are when people say "you don't look blind" as if blind people are supposed to look or act a certain way. It's also difficult to explain that most blind people (like me) can actually still see a little bit, but not enough to do things in the same way as people who see normally. Children usually ask good questions, the annoying, rude and stupid ones tend to come from adults. I'm also amazed by how many people don't recognize what my cane is if I'm using one that doesn't have the red stripe at the bottom.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 12:49 am (UTC)Silly, maybe, but there's a reason that design is common.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 01:20 am (UTC)Originally, canes were painted white because natural wood and black painted canes (which blind people have been poking about with for centuries) were too difficult to see against paved roads. The red stripe was added to make the white cane more visible against light colored pavement and sidewalks.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 04:55 am (UTC)I just use Firefox with the fonts set at "stupidly huge."
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 08:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 06:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 06:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-21 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-21 02:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 12:34 am (UTC)I actually had an encounter today with a little boy who wanted to know about my cane (I was using the non-folding one). I'm not sure precisely how old he was, I'm not a very good judge of that, but he was small enough to fit in the kiddie seat of a shopping cart. I said my eyes didn't work right and that the cane helped me not bump into things when I walked around, which seemed to satisfy his curiosity. I'm never really sure how to explain these things to children. I know how *I* would have liked to have had it explained, but I was a pretty weird kid so that isn't a good guideline. The only questions that annoy me are when people say "you don't look blind" as if blind people are supposed to look or act a certain way. It's also difficult to explain that most blind people (like me) can actually still see a little bit, but not enough to do things in the same way as people who see normally. Children usually ask good questions, the annoying, rude and stupid ones tend to come from adults. I'm also amazed by how many people don't recognize what my cane is if I'm using one that doesn't have the red stripe at the bottom.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 12:49 am (UTC)Silly, maybe, but there's a reason that design is common.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 01:20 am (UTC)Originally, canes were painted white because natural wood and black painted canes (which blind people have been poking about with for centuries) were too difficult to see against paved roads. The red stripe was added to make the white cane more visible against light colored pavement and sidewalks.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 04:55 am (UTC)I just use Firefox with the fonts set at "stupidly huge."
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 08:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 06:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 06:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-21 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-21 02:22 pm (UTC)