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conulyWe started at "optimistic", moved to "cautious", back up briefly to "hopeful", and now we've taken a distinct turn to "managing expectations".
And those expectations are pretty clear. My mother has always been adamant that she wants all measures taken, so given the choice between "keep her sedated until she passes" and "hole in throat" we went with option two, although the doctor was very firm that this isn't actually likely to give her any more time, not with the way things have turned. We're hoping for her to be conscious, aware, and alert, and maybe able to communicate with us even a little bit. Some patients do continue to improve after this point, but it doesn't sound like anybody thinks she's going to beat the odds there.
Still, as I said, you can't exactly "rage against the dying of the light" if you're not awake to do so, and while I'm not sure that my mother is a fan of Dylan Thomas, I am sure that she's a fan of random literary references dropped whenever there's an opening in the conversation, and also of the fact that I can recite absolute loads of poetry at the slightest provocation. She is also a fan of talking, and right now she has to be sedated. Moving forward, at least they could take her off the sedation and maybe she could find some way to join in the conversation again, at least... well.
So even though we're not there yet, there's no reason to think we won't be there really soon. Jenn and I are pretty sure that my mother would prefer donations to Memorial Sloan Kettering to flowers.
I may not be able to actually respond to well-wishes today or... anytime, honestly.
And those expectations are pretty clear. My mother has always been adamant that she wants all measures taken, so given the choice between "keep her sedated until she passes" and "hole in throat" we went with option two, although the doctor was very firm that this isn't actually likely to give her any more time, not with the way things have turned. We're hoping for her to be conscious, aware, and alert, and maybe able to communicate with us even a little bit. Some patients do continue to improve after this point, but it doesn't sound like anybody thinks she's going to beat the odds there.
Still, as I said, you can't exactly "rage against the dying of the light" if you're not awake to do so, and while I'm not sure that my mother is a fan of Dylan Thomas, I am sure that she's a fan of random literary references dropped whenever there's an opening in the conversation, and also of the fact that I can recite absolute loads of poetry at the slightest provocation. She is also a fan of talking, and right now she has to be sedated. Moving forward, at least they could take her off the sedation and maybe she could find some way to join in the conversation again, at least... well.
So even though we're not there yet, there's no reason to think we won't be there really soon. Jenn and I are pretty sure that my mother would prefer donations to Memorial Sloan Kettering to flowers.
I may not be able to actually respond to well-wishes today or... anytime, honestly.
