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Okay, another pet peeve of mine.
Nov. 29th, 2008 01:40 am
I'm tired - tired I say! - of hearing people complain that they feel they have to invite so-and-so's kid to their party (after all, so-and-so invited *their* kid to *their* party! Nevermind that the two kids aren't that close....) or wondering if once getting a wedding present from somebody 20 years ago means they have to send them a wedding present now...
Here's the rule about invitations and presents and the like. If you want to invite somebody to your party, if you want to get them a present? Go ahead and do so! And then... forget about it! Don't write it down on a little scorecard so, three decades down the line, you can throw it back in their face that they owe you $4 for that lousy little figurine of a duck you got them but they never reciprocated... oh, wait? You don't do that? Then why the heck do you think they do? What sort of horrible, niggling friends do you have?
Your friends aren't horrible soul-sucking excuses for human beings? Great! Then they probably aren't keeping track either. They aren't going to spend the rest of their lives cursing you just because you didn't exchange favors for them in an equal-or-greater-value deal.
Promise.
And if they do? If that's the case then they're defying every last rule of manners known to mankind, at least, all of the important ones that matter to me at this moment. Specifically the ones that state that your social affairs aren't to be arranged in a tit-for-tat fashion. They're presents and invitations, people! They aren't binding contracts wherein the first party agrees... if the second party... but only if the umpteenth party also....
Okay, yes. If your friends routinely invite you places and give you stuff and you never, ever, ever do the same for them? In that situation you'll probably be labeled the local cheapskate and - unless you have some other redeeming value or a very good excuse - rapidly find yourself unpopular.
But in the normal course of things everything will even itself out without having to do things "fairly" and "equally". (It's like listening to children squabble over who has more juice, almost!)
So yes, go to the party (or don't) and accept the gift (or don't) and buy a gift (or don't) and don't worry about it so much! Sheesh!
Oh, and always RSVP. Were you born in a barn?
Here's the rule about invitations and presents and the like. If you want to invite somebody to your party, if you want to get them a present? Go ahead and do so! And then... forget about it! Don't write it down on a little scorecard so, three decades down the line, you can throw it back in their face that they owe you $4 for that lousy little figurine of a duck you got them but they never reciprocated... oh, wait? You don't do that? Then why the heck do you think they do? What sort of horrible, niggling friends do you have?
Your friends aren't horrible soul-sucking excuses for human beings? Great! Then they probably aren't keeping track either. They aren't going to spend the rest of their lives cursing you just because you didn't exchange favors for them in an equal-or-greater-value deal.
Promise.
And if they do? If that's the case then they're defying every last rule of manners known to mankind, at least, all of the important ones that matter to me at this moment. Specifically the ones that state that your social affairs aren't to be arranged in a tit-for-tat fashion. They're presents and invitations, people! They aren't binding contracts wherein the first party agrees... if the second party... but only if the umpteenth party also....
Okay, yes. If your friends routinely invite you places and give you stuff and you never, ever, ever do the same for them? In that situation you'll probably be labeled the local cheapskate and - unless you have some other redeeming value or a very good excuse - rapidly find yourself unpopular.
But in the normal course of things everything will even itself out without having to do things "fairly" and "equally". (It's like listening to children squabble over who has more juice, almost!)
So yes, go to the party (or don't) and accept the gift (or don't) and buy a gift (or don't) and don't worry about it so much! Sheesh!
Oh, and always RSVP. Were you born in a barn?
