OH MY GOD.

Listen to this. You have to. This is important.

A few weeks ago, while taking out books from the library, Evangeline lamented the fact that we couldn't take out *all* the books she wanted. And I told her that as soon as she could write her name, when she was three, we'd get her her very own library card instead of making her share with her sister. (Instead, they can both share with *me*, right? Right?)

And I figured that we wouldn't make a big deal about it, and that when she actually turns three in a month we'd put in a little bit of serious effort, and by 3.5 she'd be able to scrawl something approximately like her name, right? So over the past few weeks I've mentioned it maybe, like, five times and shown her how to write her name, with the reminder that writing her name = getting a library card. No pressure though because she's not even three yet, there's no *rush*. If she brought it up, I'd help her - but she never did.

Today, I felt a bit out of it, so I mostly sat and read while Evangeline worked with playdough and then took out some crayons and paper to draw. And as I was sitting in the opposite corner of the room reading, Evangeline suddenly interrupted her chatter to say "And when I write my name, I can get a library card, right?"

Well, I know a cue when I hear one, so I said "That's right, sweetie" and went over to help her write her name.

Except she'd already written it. An E, a V, and a line that was clearly the start of her A. With suitable spaces between the letters, and very neat. I wasn't sure she'd done it herself until I asked her to finish up the A and she carefully made another E for me (A and E do sound alike, that's not a worry). EVE. (For sure I'm not trying to teach her Evangeline...!)

SHE WROTE HER OWN NAME DOWN. WITHOUT SEEING IT TO COPY OR HAVING ME RECITE THE LETTERS OR HOLD HER HAND. I DID NOT EVEN KNOW UNTIL IT WAS OVER WITH.

This is big. It was legible, even. I wasn't looking at this and trying to guess what she meant. I knew what she meant, because I could read it.

What the hell are we going to do with this child? She isn't even three yet!

Incidentally, my aspie tip of the whenever.

If you're out and about and don't feel like making eye contact?

Kids are great for this. Just stare vaguely in their direction and, after a few minutes, comment that you "have to keep an eye on them". It doesn't have to be true. Heck, with sufficiently distracted parents you don't even have to know the kids in question (although it certainly helps if occasionally you can dash off because one of them is Doing Something Dangerous)! Just kinda act as though you know the children and people will assume.

For those of you who really dislike children, or who are wary of making this sort of commitment for paltry 5 minute excuses, I suggest you get yourself a series of badly behaved puppies. Or perhaps a mischievous pig? A ferret is always a winner in the "Can't look you in the eye" game, though they may not be legal where you live.