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conuly
The scaffolding comes down when the roof gets fixed, and there have been delays with that because the contractor was overbooked. They can't just switch contractors because it's a historic building and their options are limited. And it all sucks all around because they're not going to build their new playground until the roof is fixed. The money is set aside for both projects, but nothing is being done there, and half the yard is eaten up with scaffolds.
But the kids, you know, the kids make do. Mostly by climbing on the scaffolds, but what can you do?
Yesterday, Ana told me about some third grade girls. They had climbed up in the scaffolding, "tangled themselves up", and told Ana to get some boy so he could "save" them, because (Ana said) they think he's cute. Ana didn't, and that's probably just as well. There's a lot wrong with this story, but you'll notice it all starts with these girls climbing as high up on the scaffolding around the building as they could.
And they're not alone. Just about every day we hang out in the yard a few minutes after school and see the kids, boys and girls, climbing and flipping and hanging upside down on the scaffolding... at least when their parents aren't watching. Every day I see them climbing on the fence. Right now it's the boys down the block who climb up on the garages and jump off, but two decades ago it was Justina and Precious. (Princess? We had one of each on our block point and I never could figure out which girl went with which name.)
So when I read old posts like this, it really makes my blood boil.
This woman has two sons who run down the block, climb on the scaffolding, and walk on walls. She doesn't remember doing that as a child (and I'm not going to point out how fallible human memory can be) and she saw this ONE girl ONCE walking sedately down the block, and she's decided that this is because boys are boys and girls are girls.
The complete lack of logic is what steams me. How can you make any generalizations from two brothers, your memories, and a glimpse of a stranger's kid?
And even if you could (which is absurd), how can you then take those generalizations and make sweeping statements as to why the difference?
What she describes her boys as doing is exactly what my nieces do on any given day, and exactly how I acted as a child. I remember clearly walking along one of the tree fences while holding my father's hand. I remember the book I lost in a neighbor's yard while jumping off their wall. (I found it several months later, brought it home, and dried it on the radiator. It was still readable!) I remember sitting on the scaffold outside my mother's job after an orthodontist appointment.
Of course, I didn't always do this. I'm willing to bet her boys don't really always do this either. I'm also willing to bet that that girl she saw doesn't always act so nicely. Maybe that day she was tired, or on her way someplace special, or dressed nicely. Maybe her mother discourages her from climbing instead of just letting her do it.
It's bad enough people see what they want to see in times like this. (HOW many times, when the nieces were little, did somebody inanely remark to me about how "girly" Evangeline was... as Evangeline pushed a truck on the ground? HOW many times did I hear somebody comment proudly that their son was a "real boy" and "didn't play with" dolls/cooking toys/dress-up clothes... and I looked over their shoulder and watched their son doing exactly that?) What really pisses me off is that they then take their little anecdotes and decide that gosh, it's all inborn. It's not that, say, girls act "girly" because we encourage them to do that, or that boys act "boyish" because we don't stop them. Oh, no, never.
Comments are closed, but I've had this conversation before. Somebody makes a wildly sweeping statement about BOYS and GIRLS on the basis of two or three small and specific examples. I make as many - or more! - examples contradicting them... and do they go "Oh, I hadn't considered that" or "You're right, I shouldn't be generalizing from only a few children" or "I guess the situation is more complex than I realized"? No, no they do not. Instead they go "Well, THOSE kids are the EXCEPTION" and "YOUR kids are not EVERYbody's kids" and "THAT is only TWO (or three, or four, or five, or ten) examples, THAT doesn't count" or "*I* know what *I* am talking about!"
It's the hypocrisy of the whole thing that I really cannot stand. More than anything else, I loathe hypocrisy.
Of course, I guess it does prove my point. They expect to see that girls and boys are DIFFERENT, and so they DO see that, and they refuse to see any evidence that contradicts this. I don't imagine I'm much different, I see what I expect to see too... but the difference is that what *I* expect to see (kids acting like kids) doesn't involve me ignoring a lot of what I *do* see. Not in this regard, anyway.
I just wish people would pay attention sometimes. They might be surprised for a change.
But the kids, you know, the kids make do. Mostly by climbing on the scaffolds, but what can you do?
Yesterday, Ana told me about some third grade girls. They had climbed up in the scaffolding, "tangled themselves up", and told Ana to get some boy so he could "save" them, because (Ana said) they think he's cute. Ana didn't, and that's probably just as well. There's a lot wrong with this story, but you'll notice it all starts with these girls climbing as high up on the scaffolding around the building as they could.
And they're not alone. Just about every day we hang out in the yard a few minutes after school and see the kids, boys and girls, climbing and flipping and hanging upside down on the scaffolding... at least when their parents aren't watching. Every day I see them climbing on the fence. Right now it's the boys down the block who climb up on the garages and jump off, but two decades ago it was Justina and Precious. (Princess? We had one of each on our block point and I never could figure out which girl went with which name.)
So when I read old posts like this, it really makes my blood boil.
This woman has two sons who run down the block, climb on the scaffolding, and walk on walls. She doesn't remember doing that as a child (and I'm not going to point out how fallible human memory can be) and she saw this ONE girl ONCE walking sedately down the block, and she's decided that this is because boys are boys and girls are girls.
The complete lack of logic is what steams me. How can you make any generalizations from two brothers, your memories, and a glimpse of a stranger's kid?
And even if you could (which is absurd), how can you then take those generalizations and make sweeping statements as to why the difference?
What she describes her boys as doing is exactly what my nieces do on any given day, and exactly how I acted as a child. I remember clearly walking along one of the tree fences while holding my father's hand. I remember the book I lost in a neighbor's yard while jumping off their wall. (I found it several months later, brought it home, and dried it on the radiator. It was still readable!) I remember sitting on the scaffold outside my mother's job after an orthodontist appointment.
Of course, I didn't always do this. I'm willing to bet her boys don't really always do this either. I'm also willing to bet that that girl she saw doesn't always act so nicely. Maybe that day she was tired, or on her way someplace special, or dressed nicely. Maybe her mother discourages her from climbing instead of just letting her do it.
It's bad enough people see what they want to see in times like this. (HOW many times, when the nieces were little, did somebody inanely remark to me about how "girly" Evangeline was... as Evangeline pushed a truck on the ground? HOW many times did I hear somebody comment proudly that their son was a "real boy" and "didn't play with" dolls/cooking toys/dress-up clothes... and I looked over their shoulder and watched their son doing exactly that?) What really pisses me off is that they then take their little anecdotes and decide that gosh, it's all inborn. It's not that, say, girls act "girly" because we encourage them to do that, or that boys act "boyish" because we don't stop them. Oh, no, never.
Comments are closed, but I've had this conversation before. Somebody makes a wildly sweeping statement about BOYS and GIRLS on the basis of two or three small and specific examples. I make as many - or more! - examples contradicting them... and do they go "Oh, I hadn't considered that" or "You're right, I shouldn't be generalizing from only a few children" or "I guess the situation is more complex than I realized"? No, no they do not. Instead they go "Well, THOSE kids are the EXCEPTION" and "YOUR kids are not EVERYbody's kids" and "THAT is only TWO (or three, or four, or five, or ten) examples, THAT doesn't count" or "*I* know what *I* am talking about!"
It's the hypocrisy of the whole thing that I really cannot stand. More than anything else, I loathe hypocrisy.
Of course, I guess it does prove my point. They expect to see that girls and boys are DIFFERENT, and so they DO see that, and they refuse to see any evidence that contradicts this. I don't imagine I'm much different, I see what I expect to see too... but the difference is that what *I* expect to see (kids acting like kids) doesn't involve me ignoring a lot of what I *do* see. Not in this regard, anyway.
I just wish people would pay attention sometimes. They might be surprised for a change.
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 07:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 10:14 pm (UTC)My daughter was never as reckless, but she also climbed everything she thought climbable. The 11-year-old girl I nanny for is also a climber - really, when I think back on all the children I've looked after, I have to say I've known more girls than boys who were really dedicated climbers, though admittedly the climbing-est child I ever knew was a boy. He was truly terrifying, because he could climb like a monkey - a fast monkey - as soon as he could walk, and he just wouldn't stop; turn your back for two minutes and he might be on top of the bookshelf, or even the roof.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 11:55 pm (UTC)I have paid attention, at least once. Sat in a classroom, had a stop watch and notes, did my paper on gender differences and also attention span at ages 4 and 6. The biggest difference between the male and female children was the clothing. It was so much more noticeable a difference than anything I could observe in the behavior. But the difference in attention span between a four year old and a six year old is huge. The developmental change over two years is quite impressive.
The four year olds could hold to a topic during directed play for long periods of time, but during free play they tended to flit about constantly and my stop watch got tired. But the six year olds could create their own self-directed entertainments that could last for long periods of time. That's a big difference. But it wasn't a difference between the sexes.
Interestingly, I saw two four year old outliers, who held to self-directed attempts to play for far longer than average. One was male and one was female. The sample size was too small for a sex difference to be relevant if I had seen one, but I didn't. I don't recall at this point what the girl was doing, but the boy was trying to get people to join him to play with a doll in some sort of scenario he was trying to put together.
The six year olds did all sorts of things though. They spent a while with blocks. They spent a while with puppets putting on a little presentation. They sat at computers playing games. So much easier to time the length of an activity with the six year olds, because one group isn't changing what they're doing while you're busy writing down the stop time for another group and that isn't happening every two minutes.
Maybe people aren't seeing the variety because they don't notice the sheer number of things a young child will do and play with given the chance. Seriously, the four year olds just ran around and explored pretty much everything.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-09 12:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-09 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-09 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-09 04:43 pm (UTC)