Well, it's true that fear is an effective way of controlling people, though it's certainly not something I'd advocate. The promotion of condemnation of people for thought-crimes is also particularly alarming.
*nods* fear and shame and bathing in blood. Good tactics. They do work sometimes. Although some people will go to secular colleges and recover when they realize their parents are insane.
Not the sort of shame of being gay, or having been abused or whatever, but the shame that you should feel when you've hurt someone, or damaged someone, things like that -- it seems that people go from one extreme to another.
Gah, I hate my brain. Sorry, I always think of that one more thought just as I click to submit...
I think a key difference is that shame is generally what makes a person feel like they are bad. This only leads to weakness. And it takes strength to act ethically.
Guilt makes a person feel like they did a bad thing, acted badly. And that you can recover from and fix.
If you're bad and dirty, it's hopless. How can a bad, dirty person like you ever make things good. If you acted poorly, you can be a good person who can fix things, learn to be better, apologize, try to make it up, and be good.
Hmmm, okay, possible. But I'd say that's playing in dangerous territory and shouldn't be done carelessly. And is probably a really bad idea to venture into solo with no one clueful and loving around to help you through it.
I don't go to church anymore because it's BOOOORRIIIING...and I haven't found one that makes me truly comfortable yet. As my husband says, "I want to go to church to feed my soul, not feed my clothes." It's such a fashion and holier-than-thou conference in so many churches. No wonder so many young people don't want to go, especially AFTER leaving that high school mentality and the boring lectures!
*hehe* Or I could go to church somewhere and doodle while I'm bored (like I would anyway at school when the lectures either clogged my brain uselessly or was just so completely understood i had nothing to learn). I've always wondered what I could produce as far as "exciting and nifty-looking" Christian art. ;-) I found this icon and love it...I could make stuff like that but more intricate.
Well, it's true that fear is an effective way of controlling people, though it's certainly not something I'd advocate. The promotion of condemnation of people for thought-crimes is also particularly alarming.
*nods* fear and shame and bathing in blood. Good tactics. They do work sometimes. Although some people will go to secular colleges and recover when they realize their parents are insane.
Not the sort of shame of being gay, or having been abused or whatever, but the shame that you should feel when you've hurt someone, or damaged someone, things like that -- it seems that people go from one extreme to another.
Gah, I hate my brain. Sorry, I always think of that one more thought just as I click to submit...
I think a key difference is that shame is generally what makes a person feel like they are bad. This only leads to weakness. And it takes strength to act ethically.
Guilt makes a person feel like they did a bad thing, acted badly. And that you can recover from and fix.
If you're bad and dirty, it's hopless. How can a bad, dirty person like you ever make things good. If you acted poorly, you can be a good person who can fix things, learn to be better, apologize, try to make it up, and be good.
Hmmm, okay, possible. But I'd say that's playing in dangerous territory and shouldn't be done carelessly. And is probably a really bad idea to venture into solo with no one clueful and loving around to help you through it.
I don't go to church anymore because it's BOOOORRIIIING...and I haven't found one that makes me truly comfortable yet. As my husband says, "I want to go to church to feed my soul, not feed my clothes." It's such a fashion and holier-than-thou conference in so many churches. No wonder so many young people don't want to go, especially AFTER leaving that high school mentality and the boring lectures!
*hehe* Or I could go to church somewhere and doodle while I'm bored (like I would anyway at school when the lectures either clogged my brain uselessly or was just so completely understood i had nothing to learn). I've always wondered what I could produce as far as "exciting and nifty-looking" Christian art. ;-) I found this icon and love it...I could make stuff like that but more intricate.
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Not the sort of shame of being gay, or having been abused or whatever, but the shame that you should feel when you've hurt someone, or damaged someone, things like that -- it seems that people go from one extreme to another.
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Shame is never good. It only weakens a person or motivates them to hide. It does not motivate them to improve.
Guilt can be good. If you feel guilty for actually doing something wrong, you may make things better.
But I see no value in shame. The trick is t hat people will tend to mix shame and guilt together because they are clearly related.
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I think a key difference is that shame is generally what makes a person feel like they are bad. This only leads to weakness. And it takes strength to act ethically.
Guilt makes a person feel like they did a bad thing, acted badly. And that you can recover from and fix.
If you're bad and dirty, it's hopless. How can a bad, dirty person like you ever make things good. If you acted poorly, you can be a good person who can fix things, learn to be better, apologize, try to make it up, and be good.
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You do NOT want to know what thaughts that inspired.
I'll just say, a good dominant sees that as good starting point for rebuilding.
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Not the sort of shame of being gay, or having been abused or whatever, but the shame that you should feel when you've hurt someone, or damaged someone, things like that -- it seems that people go from one extreme to another.
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Shame is never good. It only weakens a person or motivates them to hide. It does not motivate them to improve.
Guilt can be good. If you feel guilty for actually doing something wrong, you may make things better.
But I see no value in shame. The trick is t hat people will tend to mix shame and guilt together because they are clearly related.
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I think a key difference is that shame is generally what makes a person feel like they are bad. This only leads to weakness. And it takes strength to act ethically.
Guilt makes a person feel like they did a bad thing, acted badly. And that you can recover from and fix.
If you're bad and dirty, it's hopless. How can a bad, dirty person like you ever make things good. If you acted poorly, you can be a good person who can fix things, learn to be better, apologize, try to make it up, and be good.
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You do NOT want to know what thaughts that inspired.
I'll just say, a good dominant sees that as good starting point for rebuilding.
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