You may have heard that Donald Trump

[conuly]

told all of Twitter about the size and power of his big red button. Honestly, I'm not sure what's going on anymore.

Poll #19259

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 68

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What response did you have when you heard the news?

View Answers

Dirty jokes
16 (23.9%)

Gallows humor
21 (31.3%)

Booze
6 (9.0%)

Terror
19 (28.4%)

I reported Trump for violating Twitter's content policy
5 (7.5%)

Trump and Kim should...

View Answers

Just measure them already
21 (32.8%)

Get a room and get it all out of their systems
35 (54.7%)

And by "get a room" we mean "share a prison cell"
52 (81.2%)

And by "get it all out of their systems" we mean "do each other"
22 (34.4%)

And by "do each other" we mean "do each other in"
30 (46.9%)

Comments

[author_by_night]

Dirty jokes.

But also, someone needs to teach that man how NOT to handle international relations. Especially with a leader like that.

[konsectatrix]

But that would imply he can be taught, or that he even listens to other people outside of the bootlicking friends he replaced all the smart people with.

We should hire one of his impersonators to handle foreign affairs for us.

[dewline]

Imagining him saying it now: "I want TOADIES, NOT teachers, dammit!"

[konsectatrix]

LOL. He might as well come out and say so, his actions practically scream it.

[conuly]

My guess is he's the sort who doesn't want to be taught, because that means admitting he could've been wrong.

[konsectatrix]

You're probably right. It could be a corollary off of his ironclad rule to never, ever apologize that he's run by since he was being skewered by the NY tabloids during his high-profile divorce decades ago.

[conuly]

You heard that he dissolved his bullshit voting fraud commission? He would've had to make the results public, and he wasn't willing to do that. Jerk.

[konsectatrix]

Yeeeah. *smh* Not even a clever jerk.

[dewline]

That is one guy who is absolutely abusing the advice of Nellie McClung to evil ends there. Specifically: "Never explain, never retract, never apologize, just get the thing done and let them howl."

McClung may already be haunting him mercilessly, yet to no avail, I fear.

[konsectatrix]

To be fair, an effective haunting would probably demand more time spent in his company than I would expect of anyone, even someone of her heroic stature. I'm sure there are levels of Hell that could offer more hospitable accommodation.

[conuly]

I'm not even sure he thinks of this as handling international relations, because if he did he'd surely act... differently?

[larryhammer]

My response was *facepalm* followed *headdesk*.

[conuly]

Would you like an advil?

[larryhammer]

How about an anvil?

[chanter1944]

*cracks the frak right up!* You win the flipping 'net, you do!

[conuly]

For whom?

[larryhammer]

Uh, good question. For dropping on SOMEONE's head, certainly.

[conuly]

Let's just hope they aren't such a cartoonish supervillain that they literally walk around like a pancake or pop back up and accordian around for a while.

[larryhammer]

If we're already in TvTropestan ...

[oracleofdoom]

I want them to fight a duel. Keep the rest of the world out of their pissing match.

[conuly]

To the death?

[oracleofdoom]

I'd say to the pain, but death is probably safer.

[adrian_turtle]

To the puddle!

[chanter1944]

Nah. Duelists have more honor than either of those tottering balls of ego have ever seen, let alone possessed. ... Okay, *most* duelists, anyway.

[conuly]

That's the hype, at least.

[pauamma]

My reaction was a huge eyeroll, because that's the only way I could read this and not become a gibbering wreck...

[conuly]

Ah, but did you roll your eyes in a more scatological way or in a more sardonic way? Or perhaps a boozy way?

[pauamma]

Not boozy. Perhaps more sardonic than scatological, I'm not sure. I was too busy concentrating on the mechanics at the time to notice.